THE KLINGON CHRONICLES by Gerard Thorne & Phil Embleton, 1994 Check it out fellow trekkers! the secret is out; Simon and Schuster have their hands on the hottest manuscript around, THE KLINGON CHRONICLES. And what a book it is! The perfect text for Trekkers tired of previous lies and propaganda. At last, a coherent history of the Klingon race, explaining how their unique culture developed; chronicling events that follow a time-line beginning before (and extending through) the original Star Trek, Star Trek, The Next Generation, DS9, and all the movies. Finally, the answers to mystifying questions that bedevil true Trekkers.: - Why did Klingons in the first series have smooth foreheads, and afterwards have skull plates? - Why did Worf get beat up so often - who was the true Kahless - What are the 12 sacred principles of Klingon? - why do Klingons smell so bad to everyone else? Every interaction with the Federation is described, but told from the fair, totally honest and unbiased Klingon perspective And yet, the enemies of the empire are everywhere. The Federation iron grip on the media is both cruel and sly. They have no honour. They will stop at nothing to prevent you from reading the truth about the superior Klingon way of life! The courage of Simon and Schuster is known throughout the universe, they are truly warriors of the publishing field. Brave individuals for humans. The authors of the text, His Imperial Majesty's Prisoners, Gerard Thorne and Phil Embleton, currently enjoying Klingon hospitality and rehabilitation on Rura Penta for credit card fraud; at the request of the Imperial Klingon Government, have given permission for an excerpt of their book to be placed on the internet. They would not have dared to do otherwise. The table of contents, foreword (by Lt Worf), dedication, preface, chapters 1,2, 9, appendices, glossaries, and references, have all been included for your edification. Read them thoroughly. One day you may find yourself inside our Glorious Klingon borders and be assured, you will be held accountable! You may ask Simon and Schuster if the book is to be published, and if so, when? You can contact them at the following address Simon and Schuster Star Trek department 1230 Avenue of the Americas N.Y, N.Y USA 10020 As both authors are many light years away, and their rehabilitation program requires them to spend most of their waking hours digging for ore under the watchful eyes of caring Klingon prison officials; the authors are unable to provide an E-mail address. If Trekkers wish to comment on THE KLINGON CHRONICLES, they may do so at the following address: Gerard Thorne and Phil Embleton P.O. Box 9693 St.John's, Nfld Newfoundland Canada A1A 4J6 Remember, anything else you read about the Klingon empire is Romulan misinformation! THE KLINGON CHRONICLES An introduction to Klingon History, Culture, and Cuisine. By Gerard J. Thorne, BSc., BEd. Phil J. Embleton, BSc., BA, BEd. Copyright C 1994, Gerard Thorne, Phil Embleton "I want to die with many wounds. I want to die with my teeth in my enemy's flesh! I want to die with my hands around my enemy's throat! I want to die surrounded by the bodies of enemies I have slain! In other words, I want to go the same way Mom did." - Klingon Warrior, explaining how he wanted to die. TABLE OF CONTENTS Page Forword.......................Lt. Worf...............5 Dedication....................Legal Agreement........8 Preface.......................Reasons................10 Acknowledgements..............Thanks.................12 Chapter 1 ................... Land of the Warriors...36 Klingon Culture 1............ Fishing................67 Chapter 2 ................... The Occupation.........70 Klingon Culture 2 ........... The Klingon War........124 Machine Chapter 3 ................... Time of Troubles,......133 The First Klingon Civil War. Klingon Culture 3............ Making Sense of........144 Scents, Why Klingons smell bad Chapter 4 ................... The First..............149 Romulo-Klingon War Klingon Culture 4............ Dating Klingon..........162 Style A Day in the Life Chapter 5 ................... The Second..............170 Romulo-Klingon War Klingon Culture 5............ Architecture............185 Remembrance Games Chapter 6 ................... Rebellion................196 Klingon Culture 6............ Literature and...........216 Cuisine Chapter 7 ................... The Quiet Years...........221 Klingon Culture 7............ Biology...................230 Ramus the Butcher, Romulan War Criminal Chapter 8 ................... The Klingon ..............255 Cardassian War Klingon Culture 8............ Death, Dying,.............268 Grieving, Psychic Phenomena Chapter 9 ................... Relations between.........273 The Federation and the Klingon Empire Klingon Culture 9............ The Klingon Ship..........354 of War Appendix 1 .................. Time Line.................366 Appendix 2 .................. Organization of...........383 the Imperial Klingon Admiralty Appendix 3 .................. Organization of the ......388 Bureau of Barbarian Affairs (BBA) Glossary 1 .................. Historical Figures .......394 Glossary 2 .................. Klingon Places,...........422 holidays, and Concepts. References ........... ...... Books, Archive files......448 Miscellaneous. FOREWORD I was reluctant to write this foreword from the beginning. While I am well aware that the authors have written a great number of well received texts dealing with different cultures, their first book dealing with Klingon was, to put it bluntly, a catastrophic failure. Their guidebook, "OLD KLINGON FOR TOURISTS," was poorly researched and slovenly edited. For example, the old Klingon greeting "Sak nu ba vashnut", which means "You are a tribute to your grandmother", was mistakenly written as "Saka bu na vashnut vasut", which means "Your grandmother sleeps with Ferengi for profit." Tragically, before this error was corrected, 22 tourists were disembowelled, and another 47 injured. Now that the authors, their publishing company, and the victims' families, have reached an out of court agreement for damages, I feel that the matter is resolved, and I can lend my name to the authors endeavour with out risk of legal retribution. Before I became involved with this project, I set two conditions for the authors to meet. First, the authors would agree not to publish any phrase books for the next five years! And second, I would have the role of chief copy editor. I was as usual, in most things I do, triumphant on both points. I am guardedly (and with reservations) accepting of the results. This book is unique in that it brings together the many faceted aspects of Klingon life and culture into one introductory text, though I would still first recommend Dr. David Korotkov's insightful text on Klingon social psychology, "I'M OKAY, YOU'RE IN PAIN." Other highly recommended books by human authors include Dr. Peter Tam's definitive text "LEARN TO SPEAK KLINGON, OR JUST SMELL LIKE ONE." The high point to this text is Dr. Tam's innovative "Scratch and Sniff" emotional-label system. This alone justifies the price of the book. For the physicians among you, there is Dr. Bill McKim's history of Klingon Psychopharmaceuticals, entitled "I KNOW IT HURTS, BUT SO WHAT?" Nor would any Klingonophile's library be complete without Admiral John Crotty's treatise on Klingon etiquette, titled "I DIDN'T ASK, AND HAVE NO INTENTIONS TO." For those with culinary talents, the art of Klingon cuisine is captured in Chief federation chefs' Gary Cowan's and Eric Baggs's joint collaboration, "PARASITES I HAVE KNOWN AND LOVED." Nor should we forget Dr. Gordon Bennett's book of Klingon infectious diseases, "YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST LEARNED EACH OTHER'S NAMES." If you have purchased all of these books first, and read them, and have nothing better to do with your resources, then you have my half-hearted recommendation to purchase this book. As a Klingon raised among humans, much of my adult life has been spent trying to understand human culture, and explain Klingon culture to them. It is a difficult task, but also an honourable one. I softly applaud the authors of this text for their very (very) small step they have taken in this direction of cross- cultural education. It is with the sincerest of reservations (and because I have been ordered to do so by Star Fleet Command) that I grudgingly sign this cautionary acknowledgement. For example, why must they always ask about sex? Question after question! Is that all humans think about? And some of their comments I found to be, well, irritating! Enough! It is your time, waste it as you will! Lt. Worf, of the Korff Clan, Chief Security Officer, U.S.S. Enterprise, en route to Gamma 4 outpost, Neutral Zone, Stardate 984623 DEDICATION We the authors, would first like to express our deepest sympathies to the families of those who were either killed or injured as a consequence (though this is not to be taken as a legal admission of guilt or indemnity as reached by our agreement) of the tragic (though entirely innocent and non-negligent on our parts) error in translation in our former phrase book (now recalled and subject to burning as per our class-action settlement) of the text, (which despite our copy editor's poorly chosen wording, was a professionally researched and edited text as recognized by the claimants in lieu of future litigation), "Old Klingon for Tourists." Therefore we wish to sincerely dedicate this text (as per paragraph 4, section 2, page 36, of said class-action legal agreement) to those individuals killed, maimed, and/or those presently missing but presumed dead, as the result of one small error (legally admitting the 142 non-lethal mistakes) in our ill- fated (though well-intentioned) phrase book. Thanks to their sacrifice (of which we admit no legal responsibility as per our agreement) new legislation has been brought in into being by the Federation, setting up stringent standards of review for all language and phrase books printed in the Federation (not that this should be seen as indicating that our work was somewhat substandard, it was, as always, subject to the highest academic review, and only contained one minor lethal mistake). It is for these aforementioned tourists, to whom we dedicate this book, and who have in their collective suffering, paved a brighter (and safer) future for all tourists, and the tourism industry in general. Gerard Thorne, Phil Embleton, Guest Lecturing at the First Contact Synopsium, on Deep Space 9. Stardate 98876.5 PREFACE For this text the authors interviewed the Klingon Emperor Kahless and Chancellor Gowron, Head of the High Council, and were given every cooperation from the Palace staff, including unprecedented access to the Imperial Archives of Koonadek, under control of the Bureau for Barbarian Affairs. The authors admit to one private (and thus unauthorized) visit to the remains of Romulan Medical Research Station 21 (RMRS-21) in the Neutral Zone. The extra information retrieved from the excavated computers in the remains of building block 4, has not only furthered our knowledge of the horrors performed by Romulan War Criminal, Dr. Mengelek Ramus (Ramus the Butcher), on Klingon and Romulan prisoners; but has also brought to light personal information that may, hopefully, result in his identification and conviction. This, together with interviews with Klingon civilians, Andalusians (a Klingon Ethnic minority), and those who are Klingon by citizenship; have helped us obtain a glimpse into an exciting and vibrant culture. With the importance of the Klingon Empire to the security and economic well-being of the Federation, a knowledge of Klingon culture and history is becoming vital to all citizens of the Federation. The Klingon Empire has a population that is growing five times as fast as that of the entire Federation, and at its present growth rate, it is expected to double by the turn of the century. Already a vast market in Klingon language materials has developed (as per class-action agreement, the authors have divested themselves of all business interests, blind trusts, or otherwise in Klingon - English language materials). Some in the Federation have remarked that what the Klingon Emperors could not seize through war, they will take , "...by the revenge of the cradle." We believe a baby's cry is preferable to a warrior's yell. CHAPTER ONE LAND OF THE WARRIORS "It does not matter how long you live, it is enough for a Klingon to die well." - Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher and Royal advisor to Karas the Cruel. The following comments by a Ferengi Trader describing Klingons made 600 years ago, could just as easily apply today. "A more difficult people to trade with I know not of. Once they give their word to a price or an amount to be provided, they will not change their minds, though a great profit may begotten, or worse, money lost! Their government is tyrannical, and though they complain bitterly when given orders, they are aghast at the suggestion that a group may decide for all. In all things they do, they adhere to a code of honour, and yet on the slightest pretext they will lash out at each other. Their lives are incomplete without conflict. Even their food is often eaten alive (I myself did not partake in this abomination, for fear I would betray my caste) so that it is not unusual to be seated at a table while the Klingons do fight and struggle with their food. Occasionally, the intended meal will triumph, leaving a dead Klingon as it races out of the room. This event is greeted with a loud chorus of yells from the Klingons present, to warn the dead that a Klingon Warrior journeys to join them. And Klingons smell bad." These observations by Damin Mor, offer an entertaining, but only superficial glimpse into the Klingon past. The names of great figures from Klingon History: Kahless, Kan Ada, Hundar, Karas, Gorf and Harf; to name but a few, are dimly known to even the most educated of the Federation citizenry. They are seen as just another group of War-like Aliens scattered across time. It is from this perception that we will begin our history of Klingon. "And the evil ones gathered up tribe after tribe, and none could make a stand against the invader. Our fists and knives bounced of their metal skins, and with strange lights they did burn the huts and the crops, and cause hurts that burned with pain. The tribes were gathered in great valleys without skies, all covered in metal skins. And the valleys flew on a nest of fire, and the people did weep to watch the world fall away beneath them. And the blackness of the heavens did surround us, and all were without hope, except Kahless, the Greatest Warrior. Kahless said that even the Laremta, must come out of its shell to feed. We will follow one, and when it comes out of its shell, we will destroy the beast. And the people agreed to follow Kahless. And while the people did make much noise and receive many hurts from the evil ones, Kahless hid and did follow them, for they did not think to look, for he was the Warrior of Silence. And it came to pass that the evil ones did enter a great chamber, and thinking they were unto themselves, they did remove their shells so that they might play in the soothing waters and feed upon the fruit of the trees. Kahless sprung upon them, and all he slew but one. And the evil one was dragged before the people, and the people spat upon the evil one, and caused it many hurts. The evil one was a coward without his shell, and begged Kahless to protect him. And Kahless told the evil one to bring them home. And the evil one spoke, it cannot be, for I know not how. And Kahless again told the evil one to bring them home. And the evil one spoke, I can give you a world, it is near, but I cannot do more. And the people begged Kahless for this world. And Kahless ordered the evil one to summon the new world. And it was done. And the world rose so quickly that the valley of metal skins did break apart, and the evil one did die. And the tribes named their new world Qo'noS, which was an ancient word for 'Land of Hope.'" This quotation is from the Legend of the Landing, an ancient tale which describes how the Klingon race first landed on the planet Qo'noS. From studies of fossil records and archaeologic ruins, on Qo'noS, it is quite clear that Klingons did not evolve on their home world. Most Klingon historians and archaeologists have interpreted the Legend (27) (27) The Legend of the Landing - An ancient manuscript that is on display in the Great Hall of Koonadek Palace. It is the earliest surviving piece of Klingon Literature. R-5 The City of Koonadek, with the Great Hall in the background. as being a description of a technologically advanced race kidnapping and then transporting primitive people, more than likely to be used for slave labour. What is known is that the Klingon historical record does not pre-date the time of Kahless, who in fact did exist. Our prime source of information on the reign of Kahless comes from ancient inscriptions engraved into the cliffs of Mt. Evtok, which rises majestically over the city of Koonadek. After the time upon which the Klingons first arrived, they broke into factions. Initially there was good will for all and vibrant communities arose that contentedly traded with each other. Kahless was the acknowledged leader, and all the communities paid tribute to him as the Warrior of Silence. Twenty years passed, and Kahless decided that it was time to take a bride. There was great rejoicing and the communities sent their leaders and gifts with messages of congratulation. Notably absent was Kahless's brother, Morath. It was a scandalous snub, for in Klingon Culture weddings are the cementing of one clan to another. Kahless remained silent, but after a year he still had heard nothing from him. At last he sent out messengers, demanding an explanation, asking what wrong had he committed to be treated so? His messengers were skinned alive, and the reply was written on their hides. "You have no right to rule. It is my place to guide the people. Step down or die." Kahless was not known for stepping down from anything, let alone a fight. In a war that lasted three years, Kahless's forces besieged those of his sibling. "In the twenty-second year of my rule, I mobilised my forces against those of my brother, Morath. He had violated the oath of the family, and not remembering the good I had done him, he had cast off the yoke of my sovereignty...I slew great numbers of his warriors. All the people of Marnia and Galicia that had risen up with them I cut down with the sword...Alive with my own hands I seized him, and fought him for 12 days and nights. I cut off the head of my brother who had plotted this evil against me...I besieged his stronghold, the city of Elamak...I took it. I destroyed it. I devastated it. I burned it with fire." - A quotation from the an inscription engraved on Mt.Evtok, describing how Kahless dealt with a family disagreement. Though Kahless produced two sons, his family was unable to hold onto their kingdom, which broke up shortly after he died, when he was lost in a storm at sea. There is a legend that Kahless will return, though the number 1000, 2000 or even 3000 years after his death is still a source of controversy (what is conceded, is that the year of Kahless's death marks the beginning of the Klingon Calendar, which will be used as the dating system for this text). THE FOUNDING OF KOONADEK "A great flood destroyed the village of the Horff Clan. And Carness the Trader went in search of a place for his clan to build a home. And he travelled to the home of the Banshak, the she- warrior who saw the other world, and asked her where they should settle. She cast sacred bark upon the fire, and sought the answer in the smoke. She poured open a jar of entrails upon the floor, and studied the pattern of the blood smears. She sat silently for three days and three nights. Finally she spoke, "In the land of the blind." Carness responded, "Couldn't you say something sensible, you miserable old hag?" - A quotation from the Histories of Koonadek, an ancient text. During the 100 years following Kahless's death, the planet fell into general civil war and brigandage. Clan fought clan in an effort to secure the best lands for crops and animals. Eventually alliances formed, the strongest being the Tradesmen Guild of Galicia. It was made up of a group of Clans that had settled in the high volcanic plateaus of the Galician mountain range. From their impregnable mountain fortresses, they were able to send out raiding parties, which brought back much wealth. The discovery of rich metal deposits in the Mountains resulted in a vibrant trade based on metal goods, which were exchanged for foodstuffs and other goods from the lowland peoples. One of the lowland clans experienced a misfortune that would forever change Klingon history. The Horf clan depended on hunting and farming to sustain their community. A flood in 110 destroyed their crops and drove off their livestock. The Council of Elders selected Carness the Trader, a hunter of good standing in the community, to search out a new site for the clan to build on. He travelled first to the home of a Klingon spiritualist, referred to as a Banshak. R-6 The Banshak, a Klingon Spiritualist. She told him to settle in the "land of the blind". Carness was not impressed by her response, and remarked to his companions that she would do well in the village council debates. No sooner had he said this then his mount threw him. Turning to strike the beast, he slipped and fell down a riverbank. He was taken away by the strong current. After an hour of fighting to stay alive, he managed to grab a branch, and pulled himself out of the water. Carness discovered that he was standing on the shore of an island, located at the juncture of three mighty rivers (the Balsam, Tangles and the Nexus) that met at a rapids. On the other side of the island the Tangles river continued to the sea, it too was navigable. The sea was no more than 5 km away. On all sides there was a flat, delta plain, extending 20 km in either direction. The coastal mountains broke at this point, so that there existed a flat approach to the coast, the only harbour for 500 km in either direction. Carness now understood the Banshek's words, the clans must have been 'blind' not to have settled this place before. Carness returned to his clan, and the Council of Elders ordered the move to the Land of the Blind. One of the council remarked that a better name could be given to such a place. The honour was given to Carness, who named the island for his baby daughter, Koonadek, meaning "Source of Life." By 150, the community of Koonadek had prospered, becoming the main trading centre for a region encompassing a population of nine million Klingons. All trading goods brought by boat had to be off- loaded before the rapids, and a tax of 10% was charged by the Horf Clan for the privilege of reloading their boats down river. Goods brought down from the mountain passes as well as goods brought in from the sea were all taxed accordingly. The clan began to form alliances with other clans in exchange for special trading rights. This series of events climaxed with the award of a town charter from the Tradesmen Guild of Galicia. This recognition of town status was a source of great prestige, and very few communities were able to acquire it. In 182 the relationship with the Tradesmen Guild had become strained, as the Guild watched the coffers of Koonadek siphon off their own profits. In 210 the Guild emissaries presented a demand to the Council of Koonadek, Free Trade or no trade. This would have effectively resulted in the political annexation of Koonadek by the Guild. The Council asked for time to study the proposal and make a response. The Guild chose not to wait. Under the leadership of Mulrass, the Galicians laid siege to Koonadek. While the city held fast (Mulrass did not have any warships, and thus could not stop the Horf Clan from being resupplied from the sea), most of it was burned to the ground in 211. A compromise was reached, Mulrass would withdraw his forces and the Town of Koonadek (what remained) would lower its taxes on goods belonging to the Guild. The Council of Elders began a massive spending program, and rapidly turned Koonadek into the most fortified city of its time. To prevent future surprise attacks, a warning tower of 200 m was constructed; it collapsed the day after it was dedicated (the architect, according to Klingon tradition, was thrown off the rooves of neighbouring buildings until he died) and a more modest tower of 100 m was built. The fortifications were completed by 212 (28). (28) - The Klingon holiday of Throwing Day is held in honour of the unfortunate architect. Held three months after Kan Ada Day, the special occasion involves dragging unwelcome house guests (usually rude relatives) to the top of the family dwelling. Chanting the cries of warriors past, the guests are then hurled to the cobblestone streets below. If they survive, they are given a special invitation to come back and celebrate the holiday the next year. In 213 the Council informed the Guild that their special privileges were being repealed, and that they would have to pay the same as everyone else. Mulrass was livid with rage, and ordered his troops to destroy Koonadek, and that no one was to be spared. The Guild cavalry expected to meet a group of poorly armed traders; instead they were confronted by an army of highly trained mercenaries, who had been promised Clan membership on the condition they were victorious (29). (29) Many mercenaries were from small clans or families that had not prospered. Since clan membership meant protection, a home, and even a social-welfare net of sorts, the mercenaries were highly motivated. Mulrass was killed and his cavalry defeated. The Guild, facing financial hardship from the loss of its coastal trade, and increasing opposition from the river traders, agreed to an armistice. The representatives of Koonadek and the Guild met on the plains of Magyar, at a small trading post called Volsnat. The important issue for both sides was saving face. The trading practices of Koonadek, including the 10% tax, were recognized by the Guild. The Guild also granted the town the status of City in 213 (30). (30) City Status - This title was of great value, because it recognized that Koonadek was now a legal entity unto itself, with the right to grant citizenship. A citizen of a city could only be judged by his own laws, even though his crime may have been committed in another community. Further, legal advice and protection of property while travelling was now available, and respected by other city-states. This meant that Koonadek was now in a position to benefit from its strategic location, even more so than in the past. The City of Koonadek recognized the sovereignty of the Guild in all matters external of the city's boundaries. The Treaty of Volsnat was a landmark in Klingon History, it was the first peace treaty ever signed. The City of Koonadek continued to prosper, but it entered its first golden age under an unusual leader, Hundar the Shrewd. R-7 Hundar the Shrewd. THE FIRST GOLDEN AGE "...as per your instructions we did set fire to the crops. Every well for a 30 km radius was poisoned, and the flesh of diseased animals was spread among the pastures. The rags from the afflicted collected in the hospital were sown into the linings of the robes given to the royal family. The heir, as our earlier reports indicated, was indeed a keen lover of the ladies. The woman who was cast out for spreading disease among our troops was introduced to his bed, and did stay the night there with him. I have seen him since and he is greatly ill. I do not believe this group will bother our river boats again. I await your further instructions regarding setting fire to their main settlement." - Bondar, a field operative for the Bureau of Barbarian Affairs, reporting to Hundar about a good day's work. A more unique choice for leader was never made in Klingon history. With the increasing growth of trade and the size of the city itself, the council became factionalized, no longer able to deal effectively with the day-to-day responsibilities of running a large city-state. In 250 the decision was reached to appoint a Lord-Mayor, with executive powers, whose internal decisions would be reviewed by council on a weekly basis, and external decisions on a biannual one. A quick survey of the citizenry brought home one decisive opinion, anyone but those currently on council. An agreement was made that the position be described and posted throughout the city, and all who thought they might qualify could appear before the assembly of leading citizens. The usual rogues gallery of misfits, mercenaries, religious zealots, and undesirables (including a prostitute who offered to please the entire town, prompting one wag to ask "And what would you do the next day?") appeared before the populace. At last Hundar limped forward. Hundar was a trader who had travelled extensively. He spoke 7 dialects of Klingon, and could read and write. He had written a number of texts on maritime law, and had amassed a great fortune. His leg had almost been torn off by a jealous husband. It would have been completely removed, had not Hundar had the composure to offer to purchase the husband's sword on the spot, flashing a great pouch of gold. The husband's anger subsided, he happily accepted the gold, and then sold Hundar his wife. The wife went for much less, as Hundar observed wryly, "Better wives were easier to come by." He told the assembly of his travels, of the dangers he had encountered, of the problems he had faced, and the ingenious solutions he had come up with. The crowd was entranced by his tales of adventure. He admitted he had no morals, and had but one love, money. But, he added, "...I keep my money in Koonadek, and thus to protect my money I must protect its safe. Make me your leader, and we will be wealthy together." Hundar was acclaimed Lord Mayor (It was later learned that Hundar was broke after losing his investment in a storm at sea. He had been leaving town despondently when he saw the assembled crowd). Two years later, Hundar recognized that Koonadek was now a 'big fish in a big pond', and that tempestuous events were going to happen. His first decision was to establish an Academy of Commerce, in order to standardize trading practices and better train the entrepreneurs of Koonadek. This Academy became so well respected that Klingons from nations far away, competed for seats in the Academy. The professionalization of business practices made Koonadek the only financial centre of its time that could loan out large sums of money (for a respectable commission) (31). (31) - Even today, entrance into the Academy is a stepping stone to power for ambitious young business students. A Klingon Degree opens many doors throughout the universe. The classes reserve 15% of their seats for foreign students, the majority of whom are Ferengi. They are almost always expelled for cheating. Only one Ferengi, Donnato, managed to finish a degree in Interstellar Finance, and graduated first in his class of 300. Upon his return to Ferengi Territory, he admitted publicly that he had never cheated on a Klingon exam, and personally considered such behavior unethical. He was promptly taken into custody under the Ferengi Mental Health Act. A subsequent search of Donnato's quarters revealed a new tax codethat he had just completed. A special commission, ordered to review the document, declared that Donnato's tax code was "...unbiased, fair, simple to understand, and completely free of loopholes." All three copies were destroyed, Donnato was sentenced to death, and all the commission members were retired and given extensive psychological counselling. Donnato's defense lawyer managed to save his client by presenting documents from Qo'noS, verifying that Donnato had contributed funds and time to a Klingon Orphanage. This evidence convinced the court that Donnato was mentally incompetent, and he was instead committed to a mental hospital for the Monetarily Insane. For the last three years Donnato has been given responsibility for the hospital's budget. He has never tried to embezzle any funds. The doctors involved in Donato's case are pessimistic, and doubt that he will ever make a complete recovery; From : FERENGI, THE RACE THAT LIVES TO PROFIT, By the Authors. Hundar had lost a great deal of goods and money through theft or non-compliance with tribes around Koonadek. Hundar recognized that a legal contract was nothing without the teeth to enforce it. His teeth were the mercenaries he hired to establish a professional, fighting force. Recognizing that a standing army could be used by its commanders to take power for themselves, Hundar made it the duty of all able bodied citizens to give one month of military duty a year, and to make themselves available in time of war or siege. Military training was mandatory two evenings a week, and during the long winter months was a source of great amusement for the populace. Perhaps the most innovative concept Hundar came up with, in 252, was the Bureau of Barbarian Affairs (BBA). The BBA was an intelligence organization with a variety of duties. These included political assassinations, agro-industrial espionage, and the gathering of economic and diplomatic information. Further, the BBA shadowed visitors in Koonadek, making extensive lists of whom they made contact with. The Counter-Intelligence division of the BBA uncovered 20 people in the pay of the Guild, during the first year of operation. The BBA paid better, and the 20 became double-agents. Hundar justified this to his staff by saying, "It takes years to develop that kind of trust, and time is money." The BBA scored a series of victories for Koonadek. The Krugs of the River Nexus had long been a source of frustration for the business people of Koonadek. Operation Still Waters resulted in the annihilation of their main settlement in 255, by a BBA team under the command of an agent named Bondar. Less hostile Chieftains were bribed, and their children betrothed to the children of families in Koonadek. Hundar observed "It is better to buy off the spear pointed at your breast than to feel its point." The Guild found that it was frustrated at every point. BBA teams sabotaged mines and transportation routes, posed as brigands and robbed transports, bribed dull leaders and assassinated promising ones. They infiltrated all levels of the Guild military, and kept current records of troop strengths and locations. At one point when the Guild threatened invasion over a key trading post, Hundar calmly explained to the Guild representatives that the officers (whom he named) in command of the Guild Garrisons nearby, had neither the experience nor the troop strength to carry it off. Further he was able to give detailed accounts of how many mounts were available, and even the tentative dates for their "surprise attack." He then read out to the Guild Emissaries their birthdates, and provided gifts for their wives and children, whom he also named. The Guild representatives capitulated on the spot. Hundar smiled and said, "Don't worry about your superiors. It was all a bluff anyway. I read the intelligence reports." It was the Guild who from that point onward referred to Hundar, as Hundar the Shrewd. Though Hundar had a great fondness for women, and was notoriously promiscuous, a venereal disease contracted in his adolescence rendered him infertile (32). (32) - Da-Dong Disease - Now eradicated, it was one of many bacterial infections spread by not washing the genitals before intercourse. Da-Dong is old Klingon for "no problem". The penis would become inflamed and painful for 3-4 days, and then it would fall off, "no problem". The penis is naturally regenerated, but the testicle is no longer able to produce viable sperm; Bennett, G.: YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST LEARNED EACH OTHER'S NAMES, Book of Klingon Infectious diseases. In 275, not being predisposed to marriage (just married women), he chose to adopt. Hundar searched through the BBA files, trying to find someone who would have the necessary drive and skills to lead Koonadek after Hundar's death. As he was reading, two BBA officers dragged in a bleeding prisoner, who was chained from hand to foot. His name was Karas. He had been sent by the Guild to assassinate Hundar. Karas had been severely beaten but would not divulge any information. Hundar asked that they be left alone. Hundar asked the man how much he had been paid. He replied 10,000 gold pieces, half before, the other upon completion of the deed. Hundar wrote out a script for 10,000 gold pieces, and a pardon, and gave them to the prisoner, who was then unchained. Karas said to Hundar, "I can kill you now and have 20,000 gold pieces." Hundar replied, "Do you believe that the Guild will keep its side of the bargain?" Karas was silent, then asked, "What do you want of me?" Hundar asked him to explain how Karas had come to be in Koonadek. Karas related how, at an early age he had been orphaned. Raised on the streets of the City of Kief, he had learned to live by his wits and his knife. When he got older he joined a band of street thugs, but was arrested and sent to prison. He escaped and became a mercenary, earning a great reputation for extreme cruelty. Word quickly got around that if you wanted a competitor eliminated, Karas was your man. Everyone whom the Guild had approached for this job had refused; all except Karas. Hundar made his decision, to the astonishment of Karas (and everyone else in Koonadek), and proclaimed Karas his son and heir, on one condition. That all would go to Karas as promised, provided Hundar died of natural causes. Hundar said to Karas, "I may be old, but I'm not stupid." During Hundar's reign, 10,000 km of territory, with a population of 3 million, were added to Koonadek. R-9 Karas the Cruel. "Why just kill a fly, when you can pull it apart piece by piece?" - Karas the Cruel, explaining his philosophy of life. Karas was given an intensive education in matters of state by Hundar. In 280, when Hundar died of natural causes (34) (34) Hundar was found in his bed, with three drunken prostitutes and several animals whose presence was never explained. All agreed that for Hundar, this was definitely death by natural causes. Karas appeared before the Council to be proclaimed Lord Mayor. He was in fact a popular choice, as he had led the Koonadek Militia in several battles with great distinction. These victories together with his well observed valour made him an ideal choice. The council, was not so disposed. They had always been uneasy about Hundar's eccentric ways (35) (35) Eccentric is putting it mildly. Hundar would frequently eat and drink to excess, and then go running through the streets of Koonadek stark naked, screaming, "Oh! Oh! I am the naked warrior!" Other times he would sit in a drunken stupor by the river bank and give lectures on moral behavior toschools of fish. Occasionally he could be seen sitting on the roof of the tower, naked again, howling at the moon. This did not seem to cause much controversy at the time, as not much was expected from a politician to begin with. One trader noted, "Clothes on or off, he's still better than that bunch on council." and felt that a more genteel leader, of good breeding and social grace was more befitting of their new, super-power status. They said as much to Karas, who listened intently. At his side stood an old man, Kan Ada, who wore the robe of a philosopher (36) (36) Kan Ada - Klingon Philosopher and author of the Sacred Principles of Klingon. Kan Ada was the sole survivor of a Guild raid, that destroyed his people, the Ada clan. He managed to find his way to a mountain temple, where he was taken in by an order of warrior-monks. The temple was levelled during a volcanic eruption, and only Kan survived. After travelling through many lands, he was contacted by a BBA agent. Hundar had heard of Kan, and offered him a home and a pension, if he would become the personal advisor to Karas. Kan accepted, on the condition he be addressed as Kan Ada, in honour of his lost clan. and who occasionally whispered into Karas's ear. Finally, the leaders of the Council stepped forward, and one of them shouted out: "We are not barbarians! Why then should we be led by one?" Oneef raised his voice in agreement, "The skills needed to run a government are both technical and varied, demanding an intellect, that sadly, is lacking from one of such humble beginnings. I proclaim Duff, Lord Mayor of Koonadek!" Wellas joined in, "I may have disagreed with these two on occasions in the past, but I too pledge my loyalty to Duff. Let the street rats return to the street!" Karas conversed briefly with Kan Ada, then signalled to his BBA officers to draw their swords, saying: "I get your point. Now you'll get mine." With that the entire council was herded into the city square, and impaled on high stakes, festively garnished with ribbons and bright colors. Every year since, the Klingon Holiday of Staking Day is held. Any politician that is not performing up to standard, is herded into the town square, and impaled. Because of the large number of "celebrants" the day's festivities start early in the morning. Kan Ada then read to the assembled crowd from Kahless's biography, and read: "...fear not who has the right to lead. It is not that my blood is different from yours, for it is not. It is not that I have deeper thoughts, for I assure you I do not. I am leader because of one simple truth, I hold power over those who can kill those who disobey me. Power belongs to those who wield it." As the law had clearly been obeyed, and council was unpopular anyway, the impalings were a source of great rejoicing, and that date was proclaimed Staking day. The festivities were ended with sunset and Karas ordered everyone home (37). (37) This is how Karas obtained his nickname, Karas the Cruel. No one minded the impalings, but ending a good party that early in the day was unheard of. It was not only unpopular, it was down right "cruel". Karas proclaimed himself Prince of Koonadek. This brought forth an immediate protest from the Guild, who ordered that Karas include, 'loyal servant of the Trading Guild of Galicia', in his title. Karas liked to write his own diplomatic despatches, and his two word response, 'Voontak Yap', was decidedly undiplomatic (38). (38) Voontak Yap - An old Klingon obscenity, on a scale of 1-10, it rates an 11 in shock value. Due to the translation problems of our earlier publication, we feel it is enough to say that it suggests an unnatural act involving the person to whom it is spoken and a gardening tool no longer used. The response was predictable, and in 285, the Guild set out to invade Koonadek. With them was the Zarnian Alliance,(a group of Clans located in the Zarnian Mountain range) who also had designs on Koonadek territory. Karas ordered his armies to fall back. Every town that lay in the invader's path was burned. All the foodstuffs that could not be carried away were destroyed, and all the wells poisoned. Karas had a plan. Kan Ada had advised Karas that the Mountain Clans used speed as their main battle tactic. They accomplished this by travelling with only the most meagre of provisions, sustaining themselves on what they could scavenge along the way. It was therefore possible to determine what routes they would take, simply by an evaluation of what region could sustain such an invading horde. Karas's troops begged Karas for permission to take to the field. Karas, under the guidance of Kan Ada, remained resolute. Karas addressed his impatient officers: "We must not be hasty, like a young lovesick fool who chases a maid about the town, only to lose her to one who was aloof. No. We will be patient. Let the Guild Cavalry fight hunger, let the Zarnian infantry defeat the winter. Watch how their overconfidence can duel with thirst and famine. When they are weak, when they are filled with despair and disease, then we shall see what soldiers our allies have left for us." The combined Guild-Zarnian force numbered 100,000 troops, broken into 3 armies that approached from three fronts. Karas's strategy worked as planned. At every turn, the invaders found they were deprived of everything needed for life. After the first few weeks of the invasion, the Guild Cavalry were forced to slaughter their own mounts. Cannibalism became a problem in the ranks, and discipline began to break down. "Nag'Staf, Ferras, T'Loof..., oh no! Don't tell me T'Loof decided to desert!" "He was, Sir, but it wasn't his decision." - Exchange heard by a BBA agent during a morning roll-call in the enemy camp. Two messengers from the one army that did manage to surround Koonadek, were received by Karas during the evening meal. As Karas and his officers sat down to a sumptuous banquet, the gaunt messenger delivered his ultimatum. The Guild Officer demanded complete and unconditional surrender, or the city would be put to the sword. He had to shout to be heard over the loud belching by the officers, who busily gorged themselves, as Kan Ada had advised. A servant presented the two enemy messengers with goblets of fine wine. The taller of the two poured his out on the floor, the other gulped his wine down, and fell dead to the floor. Karas spoke to the surviving Guild Officer, "Why do you serve with men who don't even know the Warrior's Code? Every good soldier remembers Kahless's command, thou shalt not drink with thine enemy. I've read your file, if you join my table, you join me. You are too good an officer to waste among the dead creatures out there." The officer, Trojnek (39), thoughtfully studied Karas. (39) Trojnek was a giant of a man. He stood 3 m, and weighed 450 kg, though at the time he was down by 50 kg due to hunger and dehydration. He was originally from a small sea port, 750 km north of Koonadek Harbour. His Village of Kedavedon had been destroyed by pirates in 255, and he had been taken as a galley slave. As he matured his huge size did not go unnoticed. He was soon put in charge of the other galley slaves, and before long his captors' plan backfired. Trojnek organized the slaves, who rebelled and attempted to take the ship. During the battle the ship ran aground and broke up on the rocks. Trojnek managed to swim to safety, the sole survivor. He scavenged along the shore, looking for anything that he might useto survive. He found a dead pirate, with his armour. Trojnek took the man's gold and his sword, and as he went inland he found both to be useful. He became a mercenary, and joined the Zarnian Army, where he rose to the rank of officer. Trojnek spoke again, and asked, "What can I do, and maintain my honour?" Kan Ada replied, "It is honourable to join another's table, as Kahless would ask of those who would be his friends. What is the goal, in your opinion, of this conflict?" Trojnek answered, "Power and wealth, of course. The goal of all conflicts." Kan Ada said, "No. The Guild Army fights for wealth and power, and no other reason. This can only lead to chaos and more conflict. The armies of Karas fight to unit all Klingons, to create one government and one society of Klingons. Our goal is to create harmony, our goal therefore is to fight for honour. Trojnek responded, "Well spoken old man, but what honour is there in burning down people's homes, poisoning wells and even the rivers that run through your own city? It would appear that honour only applies to the wealthy and the powerful." Kan Ada replied, "Appearances are deceiving. All our people were compensated in gold for what they lost. The poisoning of our waterways is only temporary, for we also have the antidotes at our disposal. The people willingly did these things to stop the invaders. We are one society of Klingons, and one day the entire world will be united under our domain." Trojnek capitulated, and while smiling, he said, "I will join my master's table, if I may sit next to the old one." Thus it came to pass that Trojnek joined Karas, and became his adopted heir. Karas had married, and produced several children. But he was of the belief that leadership should be based on ability and spirit, and not on blood lines. Further, as his adopted son, Trojnek would protect the offspring of Karas, as they were now family. R-10 Trojnek the Giant. The Guild Armies were wiped out in 285. Of the 100,000 mobilized, a mere 500 returned home to the Mountains of Galicia. Karas led an expeditionary force into Galicia, where he routed and then destroyed the last remnants of the Guild forces. Zarnia didn't even bother with resistance, and instead pledged allegiance to Karas, who promptly established several Garrisons throughout the area to ensure his new subjects continued loyalty. The last enemy to be dealt with was the Marnian Confederation. They had massacred the inhabitants of several towns within the borders of Koonadek, and raided numerous trading posts. Their latest venture, piracy on the high seas, was the last straw. They had been relatively insignificant in terms of their economic impact, but in 292 the Marnians committed a crime which brought Karas's wrath upon them. Karas's wife and children were returning from an outing on the Royal Barge, from a visit to his wife's homeland of Ossetia. In full view of the Royal Apartments, the barge was attacked outside Koonadek harbour. As Karas watched in complete helplessness, his wife and children were dragged on to the deck, and hacked to pieces by the pirates. The barge was then looted and set on fire. The response was swift and merciless. Trojnek, having maritime experience, supervised the construction of an armada of 100 wargalleys, great ships that could be rowed as well as sailed. Karas ordered the complete destruction of the pirate bases. As his armies marched up the coast, Karas fought the pirates from his flagship, the Venda, named in memory of his wife. Unlike earlier conflicts, a new order was given. No prisoners. No mercy. No quarter. R-11 R-12 Venda, wife of Karas. Karas the Cruel (center), aboard the ship, "Venda." The Marnians were completely overwhelmed, and pulled back to their mountain strongholds. Despite the oncoming Winter, Karas insisted, against the advice of his old teacher Kan Ada, to pursue the Marnians through the ice fields. With Trojnek at his side, Karas took the Ice fortresses of Stalon, Volgoron, and Keffron. Final vengeance was denied Karas. While marching on the last Marnian City of Muscvegon, an avalanche buried half of the leading division in the Kybron Pass. Karas was killed instantly, and Trojnek was swept over a cliff as he struggled to reach his fallen leader, and adoptive father. Trojnek was carried 4 km down the side of the mountain, where he was found by a woman gathering firewood. She took him to her humble dwelling, where she nursed him back to health. Her name was Lungta (40). R-13 Lungta, Wife of Trojnek. (40) In an incident that Klingons explain as Soodba, or fate, she had been a childhood friend of Trojnek in Kedavedakon. She had jumped off the pirate ship as it sailed along the Marnian Coast, and was taken in by a Koonadek trader. Later, she married a trapper, who lived in the Marnian mountains. The marriage was short-lived as he was killed in a raid by Marnian soldiers. Two weeks later a group of soldiers from Karas's expeditionary force stumbled on the secluded cabin. They had been assigned the unhappy duty of searching for Trojnek's body to establish that he was dead. As Trojnek emerged from the cabin with Lungta at his side, the soldiers proclaimed him Prince of Koonadek. Trojnek was also told that his old friend, Kan Ada, had died fighting. R-14 Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher. After the avalanche, a badly injured Kan Ada was dug out from beneath the ice and snow. Almost blind from the rocks that had struck his eyes, he refused to give up Karas's quest for vengeance. In a rage, Kan Ada personally led the assault on Muscvegon. In a howling blizzard that killed more than the fighting itself, Kan Ada and his forces stormed the city, and razed it to the ground. Kan Ada was killed when he grabbed the leader of the Marnians, and with his hands around the Marnian Prince's throat, they had fallen from the Royal Balcony into the gorge below. Trojnek returned with his battered army, after leaving garrisons behind in the three surviving cities, and married the Widow Lungta the same day he was officially acclaimed Prince of Koonadek. Koonadek was now the reigning superpower of the planet Qo'noS. At the moment of its greatest power, the rising sun of Koonadek was to be eclipsed by the darkness of the Andalusian Occupation. An event that was to change forever the history of the Klingon Empire. KLINGON CULTURE 1 FISHING Of all the traditional occupations, none is more highly respected than that of the fisherman. Unlike the typical procedure through out most of the known galaxy where the fishermen go in search of the fish, Klingon strategy is to take a different approach. Instead of searching for the fish, you wait for the animal to find you. The fisherman will travel out in his watercraft during the night, shining his lamps over the side. Once having located a mass of Zirch eggs (33), (33) Hunt or Be Hunted, Fishing Klingon style: The National Klingon Geographic Society, Spring, 1777 edition. The Zirch is a large member of the Klingon Salamander family. It possesses characteristics of both fish and amphibians. Large males may weigh up to 500 kgs. The Zirch is notorious for it's mean but high spirited temper. Hunting the animal is a highly honourable profession as the odds of surviving the expedition are approximately 50-50. the fisherman will select one, leaving a sock or undergarment in it's place. Trailing the egg in the water, the fisherman will walk barefoot up and down the beach, above and below the high tide mark. Once this has been accomplished, the fisherman will walk to the center of town. Just as the sun is rising, the Zirch will have returned to the nest, and noticing that an egg is missing, the enraged beast will take off in pursuit of the guilty fisherman, following the deliberately laid scent. The fisherman waits patiently as the stolen egg sits in a shaded glass case. The Zirch meanwhile is dragging it's massive bulk along the meandering cobblestone streets, until it reaches the town square. Once it has matched the scent to the correct fisherman (often there are many Zirches and fisherman locked in combat all at the same time), it rocks it's head back and forth, raking the cobblestones with it's massive clawed feet. With a roar it charges the fisherman. The fisherman (some of whom regret discarding their underwear), armed with a sword and dagger, roars back in return. R-8 A Champion Zirch that has died honorably, lays gutted in Koonadek Square, waiting to be taken home by a lucky buyer. These battles are bloody, vicious, and can last for many hours. No one is allowed to help the fisherman, as that would erase his honour. If the Salamander puts up an impressive fight before it dies, then the egg is returned to the nest unharmed. Otherwise the egg is used as the base for the sauce. In many cases the Zirch emerges victorious from the battle. In this case it breaks the glass case, picks up the egg in it's cloaca, and returns to the sea. The Klingon fisherman who dies fighting the Zirch is said to have died with much honour. Klingon fishing programs are a particularly profitable form of export entertainment. There was some initial opposition by animal rights activists, who decried the death of the Zirch. A more politically correct form of fishing called "catch-and-release" has now come into being. It follows the same format, except the fisherman is only armed with a club, with which to beat the animal senseless. The salamander and egg are then returned to the sea. The fatalities among fishermen are much higher in this form, as the Zirch has no qualms about being politically correct. In the weeks leading up to Kan Ada day (in which the traditional meal is Zirch), thousands go to the sea every night. The following morning sees the town streets filled with charging masses of enraged salamanders. It is common to enter homes at this time of the year, and while casually conversing in the living room with the family, the father (or mother, depending on who was doing the cooking) is engaged in a noisy, furniture breaking, life and death struggle, with the main course, in the kitchen. But the sacrifices are well worth it. As one host put it: "There is nothing to compare to a fresh, home cooked meal." CHAPTER TWO THE ANDALUSIAN OCCUPATION FIRE FROM THE HEAVENS "...and they burned the city of Koonadek, with all its wealth and beauty, to the ground. The dead littered the streets like fallen leaves...They flew from the skies, on winged demons that belched fire and light, such as had not been seen since the time of Kahless...None of the garrison remained alive, all had drunk from the same bitter cup...Many thought it was the return of Kahless, that Kahless had killed his own brother in his anger, and Kahless was a powerful warrior..." - A chronicler describing the Andalusian Assault of Koonadek, in 300. The afternoon of 298 seemed like any other. The brisk autumn wind was unusually mild, and the sun shone brightly. The fields had produced bumper crops that year, and now that the harvest was complete, the citizens could take time and enjoy the celebrations of Kan Ada day, which had been proclaimed six years before by Prince Trojnek in memory of the great philosopher. But this day was to be marked by an event that brought about a confrontation between two cultures, related by blood and race, and separated by 1000 years in technology. An alarm went out as a trail of smoke was seen hurtling across the sky. Meteors are not uncommon on Klingon at this time of year, and naturally are the subject of great interest. This meteor behaved oddly, circling the city and then gliding down, skipping off the Nexus river and coming to rest, half-buried in the soft mud of a river bank. A BBA officer recorded what happened next, "I had just vanquished a large Zirch for the traditional meal, as the animal had put up a most gallant fight, and my wife was busily binding my wounds; when we heard a loud noise from outside. We rushed outside to see what had happened, and beheld a metallic cylindrical object, protruding from the opposite riverbank. There were symbols on what appeared to be wings, and the whole thing must have been 200 m in length, and 50 m in width. My wife said, "Stay here, I'll investigate." A crowd gathered as we watched my wife swim across the river. Just as she reached the other side, a door opened and three large Klingon-like creatures stepped out, except that they had white skin, two with blonde hair, and one with blue. They spoke with a strange accent, yet many of the words they spoke could be understood. More came out of the belly of this strange object, some with bright red hair, similar to us. One stepped forward, and indicated that he was their leader. He called himself Kraf Kur, from a place in the heavens called Andalusia. My wife invited all 30 of them back to our home, where they ate our Zirch with great enthusiasm. It was strange, but one picked up a rock, a common crystal, from the table. He asked where it came from. The ground I replied. I use it to keep my papers from blowing away when the window is open. I told him such rocks are to be found everywhere. Their eyes widened, and they exchanged strange glances. I felt uneasy, but I thought it was just the fever from my wounds." The palace guard and several BBA officers arrived shortly after, and upon the invitation of one of their own (the owner of the house) joined the feast. Only after filling up on the prime Zirch, did the group ride back to the palace. It may seem strange to the reader that a group of aliens would be invited home for dinner, until one understands Klingon culture. If one accepts an invitation to join another's table, they are making a pact of friendship. As both groups had similar customs, it was entirely appropriate. The Andalusians were a technologically advanced race of Klingons, who possessed limited warp technology. The ship that had crashed was a geological survey vessel. The Andalusians were experiencing an energy crisis, as their technology had outstripped their power supply. Their deposits of dilithium crystals were almost exhausted, and every available vessel had been sent out to locate a new source of crystals. For many vessels it had been a one way voyage. So short were the supplies, that unless they found more crystals, there would be no return trip home. The paperweight on the hospitable BBA officer's table, was a common Klingon stone. It also happened to be dilithium, a crystal which is used to power Warp engines (45, 46) (45) - The dilithium crystals were the remains of meteor showers that had fallen over many centuries. Several large dilithium bearing asteroids had collided with Qo'noS millions of years before. In a freak circumstance, Qo'noS had large deposits of Trobonite, which is normally found with dilithium. This gave the Andalusian Geologists the mistaken perception that Qo'noS was rich in naturally occurring dilithium. Much of the commercially useful deposits were exhausted within the first hundred years of the Occupation. This provided the catalyst for later Klingon expansion, in an effort to meet the energy needs of the Klingon Navy. (46) - WARP ENGINES - One of the properties of the plasma core is it's ability to produce an artificial blackhole, repetitively. The length of time in which each blackhole is maintained is in the millionths of a second. As neon gas falls into the blackhole, it is compressed and heated. This process creates positrons, a form of antimatter. The positrons are channelled via the plasma core's magnetic fields into narrow beams, and are then sent through electron (matter) rich gas clouds in the reaction chambers. When matter and antimatter collide with each other, their mutual destruction releases tremendous amounts of high energy gamma rays. This energy is focused across a chain of dilithium crystals and small amounts of hydrogen and ozone gas, causing a controlled and directed sub-nuclear explosion, which gives the starship it's thrust. The velocities of Warp 1 to 9 are directly proportional to the length of time that the blackhole is maintained inside the core. The gravitational stresses on the ship's superstructure and the instability of the plasma core at Warp 9 severely restrict running time at this velocity. The Andalusians are believed to have been one of the original tribes kidnapped from the long-lost Klingon home world. They did not escape, but instead were used as slaves by their technologically advanced masters, called the Vindar. A plague wiped out the Vindar, and the Andalusians inherited the Vindar home world and its scientific knowledge (47). (47)- Today the Andalusians make up the largest minority group on Qo'noS. Of a planetary population of 4 billion Klingons, 100 million are of Andalusian ancestry. The main reason for this disparity is their lower fertility rate. Andalusians are on average five cm taller than their Klingon counterparts. Their skin tone ranges from a dark yellow, to an off white. Hair color ranges from pure white, to blond, blue, or deep red. Eye color is usually red or blue. The skeletal , circulatory, reproductive, musculature, and nervous systems are identical to Klingons (though they are not as pheromone dependent). The presence of a frontal plate, and DNA analysis, have confirmed that Andalusians belong to the Klingon race. The reason for Andalusians being disproportionately represented in the scientific community has nothing to do with intelligence. Rather it is due to a cultural emphasis on education. Andalusians value knowledge, and respect those who possess it. This emphasis on education is the main reason why the Andalusian branch of the Klingon family tree developed more rapidly than their Klingon Brethren. Their greater technology helped them occupy Qo'noS for hundreds of years until guerilla tactics by the Klingons and bad luck (a meteor storm) ended their reign. The liberated slaves renamed their world, Andalusia, which in their ancient dialect meant 'Land of Freedom'. In Old Klingon, Andalusia meant, 'Lost Freedom.' It was to become an example of linguistic irony. The Andalusians were received by Trojnek in the Great Hall of Koonadek. This was the first recorded contact between Klingons and an 'Alien' culture (48). (48) The Andalusian Culture is more correctly a distant relative of Klingon Culture. Both had the same origins, but over time had developed in different directions, primarily because of the distinct technological environments in which each evolved. A more detailed analysis is available in the authors' text, "LOST BROTHERS, the Rise and Fall of the Andalusian Republic." Trojnek and the people of Koonadek were genuinely overjoyed at the news that a lost tribe of Klingons had been found. Further, people were thrilled at the tales of space travel the Andalusians related, and marvelled at their technological achievements. Only one group showed any hesitancy in greeting the Andalusian visitors with open arms, and that was the BBA. The director of the BBA, Klansof, held a rather 'stormy' meeting with Trojnek and his council (49). R-15 Klansof, BBA Director. (49) - 'Stormy' is a diplomatic description. Klansof felt that information should be withheld from the Andalusians, while many on the Council believed in complete disclosure. The minutes of the meeting are too detailed for our purposes, but a general summary is outlined thusly: Klansof argues to hold back information. Councillor Traff argues the opposite. Klansof questions Traff's ancestry. Councillor Viff (Traff's father) demands an apology. Councillor Beras, a supporter of Klansof, says that Viff should apologise for fathering the likes of Traff. Traff responds that Beras is living proof that there has been a depletion of the gene pool. Klansof strikes Traff with his fist, and Viff sends Klansof sprawling with a thrown chair. Beras head-butts Viff, but does so forgetting that Viff wears a surgically implanted steel-plate (from an old head injury suffered during the Marnian campaign). Beras drops into unconsciousness. Klansof gets up and throws Traff out a window, where he falls into the river, he later swims to shore. Viff pulls out a knife, but misses Klansof, who ..." At this point the minutes came to an end, primarily because the royal stenographer died as the result of an errant knife. What is known is that Klansof won the debate in true Klingon style. Trojnek issued a secret edict that no one should discuss, or allude to, the function, role, and operations of the BBA. Further, the BBA offices were decentralized, with secret stations established throughout the provinces of Koonadek. Klansof also issued a memorandum of his own, which was a master-stroke of foresight, "...have become too complacent. I find it difficult to accept that when one race or group possess a technological advantage over another, as is the case between the Andalusians and ourselves, that the more 'advanced' group will not seek to exploit this advantage for their own profit. I therefore direct all BBA officers and operatives to establish caches of weapons and supplies. Each officer shall destroy any files in their possession that may reveal the identity of a fellow officer. You will be re-organized into cells of 3 agents per cell. Only one agent in a cell will know the identity of an agent in a different cell. Even if officers are taken prisoner, the information obtained will prove useless to the Andalusians. Do not be fooled by their gentle manner and friendly approach. We are simple animals in their eyes, to do with as they please. The question is not whether there will be war, but when..." Trojnek learned of this despatch, but decided that Klansof was simply paranoid. Trojnek allowed the plan to continue, because, as he told his council, "I want to see the look on his face when they arrive to sign the peace treaty I have drawn up." The Andalusians had told Trojnek that their ships needed the common Klingon crystals for fuel. They were certain that a mutually profitable arrangement could be worked out. Trojnek proposed that the Andalusians could have all the stones they wanted, in exchange for Andalusian technology. Trojnek stated that he wished to see, "Klingons and Andalusians travelling through space together, gathering the lost tribes of Klingon, and uniting in their quest to find the lost homeworld." The Andalusians made exhaustive surveys of Koonadek territory, and their movements were closely monitored by the BBA. Klansof noted a sinister pattern to their survey work, and said as much to Trojnek, "...times must I repeat myself to you? Are you blind to what is happening here? If they want the stones that lay everywhere, why then do they inspect Mountain passes, and the construction of strategic fortresses? If they are truly geologists, what use have they in drinking with our soldiers, and asking questions about troop strength and weaponry? They have spent three days in the meteorological archives, what importance are weather patterns to gathering rocks that can be found on the beach? This is information that is only important if you wish to invade. I know. It is what I would do if it were my plan." Trojnek brushed Klansof off, saying, "The time of war is over. Peace and cooperation is the future. All my life I have known nothing but war. Now, my old friend, we will have peace in our time." After six months of 'geological' surveys, the Andalusians, together with a group of Klingon diplomats, left Koonadek amid great cheering and fanfare. OPERATION BROTHERHOOD THE OCCUPATION OF QO'NOS "...we leapt from our craft, and fought the surviving Klingons on the walls. They were dressed most ceremoniously, in honour of the peace delegation that they believed us to be. We brought them eternal peace instead. Their simple swords and spears were no match for our laser guns, though at close quarters the Klingons could be deadly, even with primitive weapons. We fought our way into the palace. One Klingon, a huge giant, their leader I believe, had picked up a laser gun and was returning fire. He had been wounded, and an arm hung by a thread of torn flesh. He was hit from behind by a laser burst, but stayed standing. I saw him pick up one of our soldiers and snap the man in two. It was only after he was hit several more times that he fell. I later learned he had been covering the escape of his family. I thought about you and our children as I saw the bodies of the slaughtered on the streets of Koonadek. This is not war, this is just butchery for the sake of some politician's glory. This war is wrong. I have resigned my commission. I will fight no more." - An Andalusian Officer writing to his wife about the carnage he witnessed during the taking of Koonadek. Many Andalusians became disillusioned with the War early on. Klansof had been right to be suspicious. The Andalusians were not just geologists, they were in fact employees of a military supply firm. Andalusia had just fought a bitter and protracted world war. With peace came economic difficulty. Much of the Andalusian economy was dominated by the military-industrial complex. Unemployment and public debt created a world-wide recession. The surplus labour pool was also well-educated, and the government began to fear that unemployed intellectuals might form the nucleus of revolutionary movements. What Andalusia 'needed,' agreed most industrialists, was another nice, long, war. The Andalusian government was a constitutional republic, with a powerful executive that possessed the legal ability to declare war or begin military operations without the consent of the legislative branch. Of course, historically the legislative branch had always petitioned the executive to declare war, thus legislative approval afterwards was always granted. The President of Andalusia, Trik Darf, had been supported by military suppliers. They looked to him for subsidies and contracts that would keep their corporate balance sheets in the black. The huge public debt loomed over all like a dark cloud, and the administration knew that some very unpopular decisions would have to be made. And then the corporate team from Klingon returned. The diplomats were concealed from the public and all information relating to this contact was designated 'TOP SECRET'. A number of the President's advisors were opposed to any military action against the Klingons. "...economy is a disaster. I know it, we all know it. But we're talking about genocide here! Sure, laugh all you want. But why send in troops? We've read the reports. They said we can have all the dilithium we want! They want to be our allies! They're from the home world too. What do you think will happen to your popularity rating when the details of Trojnek's proposal become public? They'll impeach you Trik." Others held a different view, the most influential belonging to Henrik Kissang, "I believe Mr. President that we have no choice in this matter. If we do not move now, what is to stop another power, such as the Romulans, from moving in and taking Klingon for themselves? Besides, if we give them the technology they ask for, in time they may use that technology against us. We are a democracy, and I cannot in good conscience support a regime that denies the basic political process to the people. We must rescue the Klingons from the tyranny under which they suffer. This is a noble cause Mr. President, and the history books will remember you as the Man who liberated Qo'noS." In 299, by executive order, the Andalusian Seventh Battle Fleet was readied for the Occupation, though this was given the politically correct name of 'Andalusianization'. Basically, Andalusian forces were to take over all aspects of Klingon Government, and the Klingons would be 're-educated' into the Andalusian form. A massive recruitment was initiated and, due to the high unemployment, proved to be initially quite popular. The Klingon diplomats were conveniently killed in an 'accidental' shuttle crash. It was believed that should there be a leak, it was better that just one version of events be presented to the public. In 300, an Andalusian scout ship landed on Koonadek, bearing gifts and well-wishes from the people of Andalusia. Trojnek and his council were delighted, and the Andalusian advance team smoothly explained that the Andalusian leadership would be arriving a month later, in a style fit to honour the Prince of Koonadek. Klansof was not fooled, "Why are they so eager to please when they have the technology to take what they will? Is it because they wish for good relations, or is it a darker purpose, to lull us into a fitful calm, so that we will be that much easier to kill? It is not wise to accept gifts from strangers." A month later, as all of Koonadek awaited to festively greet the leadership of Andalusia (Trojnek had declared a national holiday), Andalusian Admiral Nimitof ordered the attack to begin. The skies above Koonadek darkened as hundreds of starships and small assault craft descended from orbit. The people cheered and smiled at the display, thinking it to be spectacle put on for the enjoyment of the Klingons. Then the first laser blasts struck. As Klansof had expected, the Andalusians had a darker motive. They began with a brutal surface bombardment that levelled most of the city. They destroyed most of the garrisons across Koonadek territory in the opening hours of the Occupation. The palace itself fell after five hours of bloody, hand-to-hand fighting. Trojnek was killed covering the escape of his wife and children. The Andalusian military reported to President Darf that the operation had been an enormous success, and that casualties were extremely light. The report on the taking of the palace included a paragraph that was given no importance at the time: "...In the central grounds of the Palace stands a block of offices, but there were no files or documents to be found. There was nothing at all, and certainly there had been no time to remove everything during the attack. I only mention this in my report because this building is located next to the living quarters of the Prince, and was well fortified. We have accounted for all the other government ministries, and I am unable to explain what possible function could have been served here." Klansof had removed everything (and everyone) vital to the BBA, during the month prior to the arrival of the Andalusians. Trojnek had resisted Klansof's pleas to at least evacuate the royal family and the civilian population. Trojnek felt that such a move might communicate a message of mistrust to the Andalusians. The well-planned 'Andalusianization' program was a complete failure. No Klingon with any sense of honour would collaborate with the Andalusians. As one captured Councillor told his Andalusian captors, "Why should I help you? You say we are brothers, but half my Clan lies dead. You say our government denied the Klingon people their rights and freedoms. Every man was free to speak to me. Our Prince always listened with an open mind and a caring heart. You promised friendship and brought death instead. Now the prince lies dead and the people cannot speak. Before we were divided by space, but that could be crossed. Now we are separated by rivers of blood, and the waters you have unleashed will sweep you away. We will devote our lives to killing Andalusians. Kill me, for most certainly, I will kill you." - Klingon Councillor Traff, addressing the Andalusian Military Governor. Traff was shot and killed when he attempted to strangle the Andalusian Governor. The Andalusian Military established firm control over Qo'noS, and Andalusian civil servants were brought in to administer the planet. Klingon was politically annexed by Andalusia with the enthusiastic approval of their legislative branch. The BBA had other ideas. BIRTH OF THE RESISTANCE "As planned, we waited for the Andalusian patrol to fly over. Several young, and very attractive women waved toward the ship. This produced the desired response, and the ship quickly landed nearby. The Andalusians ran out of the ship with their weapons slung casually over their shoulders. They were all young men, and poorly trained. They spoke for several minutes, and the women finally convinced the soldiers to take them for a ride, as they had never flown before, or so they told the soldiers. Once in the air, the females overpowered the Andalusians, cut their throats, and my wife flew the ship to our base in the mountains. We now have 12 such craft, but we are in need of technical manuals concerning the use of communication equipment. Perhaps this could be made a BBA priority in the next month?" - communication from a BBA field operative. The BBA encouraged their officers to act independently, and all requests were quickly acted on. The easy victory won by the Andalusians was momentary. The Andalusian High Command began to receive disturbing reports of pieces of equipment being stolen, particularly equipment related to accessing data bases. Technical manuals regarding operation and maintenance of advanced equipment routinely disappeared from the desks of well-secured offices. This was dismissed as inconsequential, because the Klingons were not believed to be literate enough to comprehend the contents. Small amounts of equipment also went missing, but this was explained as the result of incompetence, or even theft, by the Andalusian forces themselves. When a ship would fail to return from patrol, this was also chalked up to pilot error. This happened throughout Qo'noS, and was not seen as part of any organized resistance. That was exactly what the BBA wanted the Andalusians to believe. The BBA expressly forbade Klingons from carrying out any attacks on Andalusian forces. Time was needed to train Klingon citizens in the use and construction of advanced technology. Over the next ten years, the Bureau of Barbarian affairs established a network of agents which formed an effective resistance. In 310, under the leadership of Princess-Regent Lungta (Trojnek's widow), they rose up in a carefully planned rebellion, and city after city fell to the rebels, almost overnight. "Have you been drinking again? Klingons don't have ships, they never did. They're children." "I don't have time for this nonsense! I said they have ships! Yes, you idiots! They are attacking right now! We've lost the outer perimeter, I can see them from my office. I want an airstrike now! Fire on my position! Fire..." "Cloomak! Cloomak! Can you hear me? Are you still there?" "He is present, Andalusian. But he no longer listens." - Communication recorded in Koonadek between an Andalusian frontier post and Koonadek High Command. The last voice on the transmission was a Klingon BBA Officer. The Andalusian forces were overwhelmed; the attack had taken them by complete surprise. Within a week after the offensive began, all the Andalusians held was the City of Koonadek. The BBA had intercepted a transmission, in which the Andalusian Admiralty pledged a huge invasion force to relieve the besieged defenders of Koonadek. Despite the BBA's advice that Klingon forces withdraw to safe bases in the mountains, the Provisional Klingon Government under Prince Kan (son of Trojnek) opted to pursue a conventional war against the Andalusians and take Koonadek. At tremendous cost in lives and precious equipment, the Klingon Rebels launched an all out attack on Koonadek, but failed miserably. Both sides dug in for a long winter siege. The summer of 311 marked the lifting of the siege of Koonadek when Andalusian reinforcements arrived. In bitter fighting that left most cities wastelands, the Andalusians retook all the lost territory, and decimated the Klingon Garrisons in the process. The Klingon Provisional Government, under Prince Koras (Prince Kan had been killed attacking Koonadek), adopted the strategy of attrition proposed by the BBA. Guerilla warfare became the primary form of resistance. "Like small drops of rain landing on a great stone, we will wear away the Andalusians. I will not live to see the final victory, none of us will. But Klingons hundreds of years from now will toast our memory in the Great Hall of Koonadek." - Prince Koras, addressing the Provisional Council. Millions of Klingons, by some estimates 75% of the civilian population of the time, were taken off-world to be used as slave labour. It is confusing to the reader at first because Andalusia had a labour surplus of its own. The problem for the Andalusians was their own physiology. Andalusians cannot function well in cold temperatures. Their bodies' develop a mild hypothermic response that dulls the thought processes and slows reaction time. Klingons possess a naturally occurring anti-freeze, a hormone that protects their cells, so that they can function without impairment or discomfort at temperatures of -45 Centigrade. The Andalusians needed Klingon labourers for terra-forming planets inside their borders. The Andalusians were unable to pursue the Klingon rebels through the mountains during the winter months, and were forced to rely on airstrikes and brief commando raids; both of which had limited effectiveness. The BBA were aware of the purpose for the round up of Klingon Civilians, and entire BBA teams went with the captured populations. Their orders were to organize a resistance movement on whatever planet they were sent to, and from there return and aid the liberation of Klingon. This policy was extremely effective, and in 452, Agnon 4 became the first planet taken over by Klingon Rebel forces. The length of the war, and its countless battles and campaigns, is beyond the scope of this book. It is difficult for the modern reader to comprehend a brutal war that lasted over 400 years. A better approach is to present the different perspectives as experienced by two Andalusian veterans, who fought in the same war, but were separated in time by 100 years. The following is from Alik Sorf, an Andalusian who fought with the infantry 599-613. His platoon was put into cryogenic sleep (50) by the high command in preparation for a future campaign. R-16 Alik Sorf, Andalusian Veteran of the Occupation. (50) Cryogenic Sleep - A form of suspended animation. The Andalusians developed a gas that halts all metabolic processes instantly, but inhibits the production of damaging free-radicals, and thus prevents any decay or tissue damage from occurring. This is combined with a lowering of the ambient temperature to -5 centigrade. It was first developed to compensate for the length of time required in early space travel. The development of Warp Drive technology rendered cryogenic sleep obsolete for space travel. The Andalusian Military recognized that morale decreased with the length of time spent in idleness. Therefore cryogenic sleep was brought back, and troops were arbitrarily frozen, and used as chess pieces in a grand military strategy. It also became policy to consider a two-year enlistment referring to two years of time spent in actual combat, so that a soldier might fight for two years, but in fact have been on Qo'noS for 20 years; 18 of which were in cryogenic sleep between engagements. All of the settlements and bases were equipped with this system, in order to allow people to survive long sieges without being re-supplied. Unfortunately for the Andalusian Military, their computer networks were easy targets, and many bases were accidentally, or courtesy of the BBA, ordered into cryogenic sleep. The destruction of a key command and control centre destroyed the codes for reactivating the bunker, and even the records of its location were lost. Alik Sorf spoke to the authors at Koonadek Palace at the Emperor's "invitation" during the research for this book. "My name is Alik Sorf, originally of the home world of Andalusia. I was found by a BBA team 7 years ago, about 4000m below where we are sitting right now. I am married and have 3 children, all daughters. I was drafted at the age of 19. I did not want to go. But my father was not politically connected, and I was not a particularly good student. And to be quite honest, I really didn't have anything better to do. I reported to a registration centre, where we spent the next two weeks sleeping through boring lectures and marching across a field. Then we boarded the troop transport and launched. We weren't told where we were going, not that it mattered, judging by the idiots I recognized from school, most would have had trouble with a street map. Anyway, I figured it would be pretty dull, just stand around and shoot at the occasional stray Klingon. The news at home had said the Occupation was a done deal, all we had to do was shoot the trouble-makers. It didn't turn out to be that way. As our ship began its final approach it was hit by a series of Magna-Carbon rockets, they're small and primitive, but they work at close range. The next thing I know the cabin is filled with smoke, and the pilot yells over the intercom, "Brace Yourselves! We're going In!" The ship split in two on impact, and the half I wasn't in exploded, wiping out half the company. As if things couldn't get worse, when we radioed for an emergency dust-off, we were told, "No one under a year's fighting time gets an evac! We're not getting killed for dirt." Nice. A tactful reply don't you think? Anyway, we had homing devices that could lock on to a Navigational Beacon. These things are really automated mini-fortresses, designed to recognize Andalusians. A sort of 'home-away-from-home' for the lost foot soldier. The problem was getting to them, because the Klingons seemed to know about them too. I had only fired in a simulator before, but that night I used up 4 belts of Laser-frags. One belt will give you two thousand rounds, so as you can understand I was a bit busy. I must have killed 60 or 70, possibly more. It didn't matter. They'd just laugh and keep charging, screaming. They actually enjoyed it! Out of the original 800 in our company, 400 were killed in the crash, including the C.O., and out of the approximately 300 that could still walk (we didn't even bother with the wounded), 27 made it to the beacon. Once we got inside we just collapsed. These beacons are really unmanned-sentry points, that guard service tunnels that connect to the main subterranean complexes. After walking for about two hours, and passing the occasional dead Klingon (I still don't know how they got in there), we made it to a manned sentry point. When I told the guy inside the gate that I thought I was going to die out there he just laughed and said, "Don't worry, you will." For the first year we were just dirt. The worst possible mission they could put you on, we got it. My personal favourite was patrolling the exposed Nexus river banks, and then searching the ruined suburbs of Koonadek. These patrols could last as long as a week. Basically, we had to draw fire, and then call in an airstrike. Trouble was, sometimes the coordinates got mixed up, or the pilot got nervous. Do you know what a Flame Sheet can do to a person up close? If you're lucky, instant incineration. Otherwise you just stand there and watch your body burn away. You can't put the flames out! I can still smell the burning flesh. A buddy of mine got taken out just south of the Empress's Bridge. He dived into the water, which also caught fire. And he was short-time, he only had two more weeks and he was back to Andalusia. Then they pulled the service-time stunt on us. The army was having real problems with their casualty rates, so they decided to invoke an ancient military law giving the regional commander leave to decide when a soldier could be discharged. Problem was, just before everybody was due to be sent home, they'd rotate the officers. The officers knew that their postings, especially their promotions, would be affected by how many of us were allowed to go home. Surprise! I got another tour of Koonadek courtesy of the Andalusian Military. After the first year fighting Klingons, I'd turned into something nasty. Before, back on Andalusia, I used to get beaten up by smaller kids at school. Now I could snap a Klingon spine in two with one punch at the base. I used to get really hyped up for the firefights. The way I looked at it, if I had to do it, why not enjoy it? I got to pick my own squad, and when Colonel Tang took over, he even let us plan our own missions. What a difference that made! No more idiot-moles down in the bunkers telling us where to go. I knew where the damn Klingons were, and we found them! We'd use holograms to draw their fire, then outflank them and cut them to pieces! It was beautiful, just beautiful. The recreational side of things wasn't too bad either. There were more women then men in the Army, and when you're about to get shot at, people usually drop the coyness-routine. I had a string of girlfriends right across the complex. I'd like to think its because I'm such a great dancer, but really it was because the ratio of women to men in our complex was 5:1. There's a simple reason for this. Andalusian Males tend to be big, bigger than Klingons, you guys can see that for yourselves. Big guys make big targets. All you really need is a little tiny woman with a big laser cannon. After a while rumours started spreading, you know, a bunker complex shut down for cryogenic sleep, and no one knows how to locate it. I mean, its like being buried alive. You're not dead. And what if you come to and can't get out? It was like one time when I was taking fire from a Klingon patrol near the east-end of the city, a wall just collapsed on me. I was bleeding pretty bad, but the weight of the stone prevented me from calling out. Some of the guys said I must be dead. I wasn't afraid of dying, I was just afraid of no one knowing about it. That I was alive, just for a little while. Anyway, I managed to fire a round through the wall. Then when they said if you're alive, fire two rounds, I got royally ticked and emptied a belt through the wall. One of the privates remarked, "Careful boys, remember how sensitive Sarge is." Two years went by, and things only got worse. Most of my original squad were killed in taking the Rebel Base in the Galician Mountains, back in 609. It was Tang's idea for winning the war and bringing us home. What was it he called it, something like, "Peace in our time." If the brass had left his plan alone it would have worked too. He had proposed a major counteroffensive in Marnia, this would be the decoy to convince the Klingons we were after the supply bases in that region. Tang was going to personally lead a group of special assault teams, who would penetrate the complex through a weakness in the rock-wall found by one of our geologists. Of course the moles with gold braid couldn't stay out of it, and sent all the forces rumbling toward Galicia instead of Marnia. My team was supposed to take control of a bridge that linked two vital passes. We used silent jetpaks and managed to kill most of the Klingon guards. Right after we secured the bridge, the Klingons blew it up with Deuterium charges. I somehow survived the fall into the pass, but most of my squad was vaporized or crushed in the rubble. The whole base was one big booby trap. Tang told the brass just nuke the site, but they kept sending division after division in. We lost 3 whole divisions, and they found 45 dead Klingons. That works out to a thousand of our guys for one of theirs. We all got medals. Whoopee! After that I realized that we'd never win this war. I just wanted to survive. It got to the point that I was really depressed, that I kept hoping I'd get shot in the foot, I even thought about doing it myself. But they got wise to that one, and I met a number of troops with prosthetic legs. None of us were going home. One night we got a radio call in the bunker, a transport had crash landed but everyone had survived. The C.O. said that if we could bring them all in we could all go home on the next transport out. He wasn't playing games, he knew we'd kill him if he lied. Just as I was getting suited up the bunker alarms went off, all I remember as I breathed in the gas was, "Buried alive." Its hard to believe that all this happened over a thousand years ago. For me it was yesterday. I married a Klingon woman, but we don't get along very well. Its a cultural thing. I mean, I see nothing honourable fighting my breakfast. People have gotten killed in my own neighbourhood because their Zirch egg was not fully cooked and an annoyed giant mama-salamander went looking for her kid! One time my oldest daughter came home from school and asked, "Daddy, when are you going to die?" I said, "When I'm old and useless, and not before." My wife came running into the living room and shouted, "You'll die gloriously in battle or I'll kill you myself!" She says she loves me. Its a good thing that she can cook." Other Andalusian survivors fought a different war, and that also affected their ability to cope with life among Klingons. R-17 Tama Vick, Andalusian Veteran of the Occupation. "My name is Tama Vick, wife of Serf, we are members of the Durf Clan. I was found two years ago, in a Bunker complex in the Zarnian Mountains. My family was military, and I was an Army brat. When I turned 18 I volunteered to join. My friends thought I was crazy! The draft was still in effect. A lot of guys offered to get me pregnant, so I wouldn't have to serve. But I wanted to go, and anyway, you see, that's not the way I was raised. My father had taught me how to fly when I was young, and because I had read the manuals at home, I breezed through ground school and was sent to Qo'noS. I was on a transport with 6 other rookies. We couldn't stop talking, it was so exciting! Our ship went through the usual evasive maneuvers, flares, chaff, as we approached the landing center. I was assigned to the 9th Squadron of the 4th fighter Wing, flying out of Zarnia. I flew the A52 Ground-Assault Interceptor, also known as the 'Vulture.'That's what it looked like. Big bent wings, and just plain ugly, but in a cute sort of way. It was the finest example of Andalusian State-of-the-art military technology. It could fly no matter what you did to it. A lot of pilots flew back minus half a wing. One guy told me his detached wing flew back on its own! But I didn't believe him. In any case it was a dream to fly. My job was to fly over a sector of the City of Stolgon and the mountains, and basically clobber anything rebel that moved. The scariest part was when I would land, and get out on foot. We all went out with a robot scout that hovered in irregular patterns. We basically had to go house-to-house. I was continually in contact with someone back at the main bunker. Also, our ships were initially 6 seaters, with everyone up at the front together. The behavioral science guys figured it was better for morale to have everyone seated together. I was good at my job. The Klingons had changed their tactics to match ours. Militarily, they had our bases boxed in, but they couldn't take us down. But we could hurt them. One time, my team detected a heat plume from an abandoned factory, and after sending down some acoustical drones, we discovered a major Klingon communications base! We set the Vulture on remote, and as it attacked from above, we moved in on the ground. In one month we managed to take the entire sector. There wasn't one Klingon attack from that area for a whole year after! My crew and I were great friends. We were all girls, and we were all about the same age. And back then you could fly to another bunker and spend time relaxing with another aircrew. No! Not like that! I saw that look! I told you, I wasn't raised that way. I mean, I wanted too, sure, but I didn't. By the end of the year High Command issued orders that all crews would be reduced to two. That meant now we had three Vultures in our complex, instead of one. But they had us flying around the clock, so it really made you feel isolated. And if you got annoyed at the person you were flying with then it was just awful. I'll never forget the first time I saw a Vulture destroyed. We scrambled out of our bunks when Vulture 2 called, saying they had a bandit on their screens. By the time we got there, they had been hit at least twice. I kept calling to them, "Shut it down! Shut it down!" But it was too late. The main coolant systems failed and she overheated. It lit up the night sky with this bright blue haze, and then drifted to the ground like a sparkler. There was virtually nothing left of the ship, and our two friends on board. It was the first time I lost someone close to me. We killed every Klingon in sight. They were flying modified Andalusian Spotter craft, but they had to be 40 years out of date! But no one had been expecting them, or that many, and one lucky shot from a laser cannon and its all over. We quickly lost control of the sector. There were no more landings. Only dust-offs to get downed pilots, otherwise we stayed airborne. Then the disaster at Airbase Danon happened. It was the biggest airbase in Koonadek. I landed there twice during the war. It had 150 Vultures, and also handled interstellar traffic to and from Andalusia. Somehow a group of Klingon Commandos (my husband told me they were a BBA special forces team), took control of the surrounding navigational beacons. They recalibrated the signals. 40 Vultures flying in formation and 2 fully loaded transports crashed into each other because their vector beams had been randomly altered on their sensors. The orders came down that navigational beacons were no longer secure, and to avoid such disasters again bunkers would be restricted to one Vulture each. My co-pilot Shana Zarf, was my best friend. We flew together for the next four years. She was what I would call a 'hard case', but in a nice sort of way. She had 3 boyfriends, well, lovers really. I used to say to her, how can you do that? I couldn't even do it with one guy! She used to say, "Tama, I couldn't handle putting all my feelings, my life, into one guy. What if he got killed? This way if one gets killed, I've still got the other two. I know it sounds cold, but I can't stand being alone." It was strange, the more people we killed, the lonelier we got. Often, when we were flying, Shana would say, "Quick, Tama, land the Vulture, there's a lovely meadow. No one will know. I just want to feel the grass beneath my feet again." Of course we couldn't land, but she'd always ask. Our last flight together we suddenly were surrounded by a swarm of Hornets (that's what we started calling the Klingons in their ancient spotter craft). We were just about to finish off the last Hornet when it got lucky and squeezed off a round, taking out the control panel and covering Shana with shrapnel. I managed to land the Vulture on an alpine meadow and called for a dust-off. Shana was hurt bad. Real bad. She was dying, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. She smiled at me and said, "Help me Tama. Help me feel the grass beneath my feet." I dragged her out, and took her boots off. She died while I held her hand. Her eyes glazed over, and then her breathing became shallow and noisy. Then it stopped. Her pulse slowed down and it stopped too. I'll never forget how the mountain wind blew her blonde hair across her face...I didn't really realize that she was dead until I let go of her hand and her's was still gripping mine...I don't remember the ride home. I didn't get a replacement. High Command gave us some new computers for the Vultures, and turned them all into oneseater craft. We were losing the War. I got a surprise visit from a close friend of my father's. He told me that my parents were very proud of me, and that they missed me. He gave me some disks on which they had recorded messages for me. Then he sat down with me and said, "You're a good soldier, Tama. You must do your best to stay alive. The Klingons on Agnon 4 have blockaded Qo'noS itself. They're not strong enough yet to invade, but its only a matter of time. You must survive! There's nothing left to die for. None of this should have happened! I know, I have access to the old records. Stay alert! When I can find a safe way off the planet, I'll take you with me. You're father saved my life more than once, you know. I won't leave his child behind. I have a gift for you,...", he reached into his pack and pulled out a stuffed toy animal. "Shana's parents asked me to give it to her. No, they don't know. No one is told. It gives them the hope she is frozen somewhere. It also gets the military support to stay until all the missing are found... anyway, I'm sure Shana would want you to have it. Remember Tama, stay alive! I'll come back. My son was reported missing outside Koonadek, I must see for myself. But I will come back." Uncle Nak didn't come back. I later found out he was killed by friendly fire, the same way his son died. I called Shana's gift Little Nak. For the next 7 years I was totally alone, except for little Nak. I flew everyday, I killed someone everyday. There were lots of automated bunkers left, so supplies and maintenance were never a concern. Nak used to sit on the control panel, I even rigged a computer chip with Artificial Intelligence, so we could talk. The last oral communication I had from H.Q. was two years before I was frozen. For the last two years I became so desperate for company I used to land the Vulture and attempt to capture Klingons alive! I just wanted someone to talk to. Or I'd fly to an airbase, and just wander around, hoping to find someone still alive. In 713, at 6:00 in the morning, I got a distress call from an Andalusian Vulture. Someone was alive! I ran to my ship. Just as I was going through the final check I heard an explosion. The navigational beacon had been penetrated! The alarms sounded and I smelled the gas, I said, "the War is over for us Little Nak..." The next thing I remember I heard a voice calling my name. Later I found out that when the BBA locate a bunker, they access the computers before they awaken the 'sleepers.' I opened my eyes and saw this tall, dark Klingon officer standing over me. He held both his arms out with his hands open so I could see he had no weapons. Then he said, "Tama Vick, the war in which you fought so well, has been over for over one thousand years. I, Serf, member of the Durf Clan, as one Warrior to another, ask that you accept the good wishes of the Klingon Emperor Gowron, and join my humble table, where we can dine as friends, and after share in a toast to the Emperor." I knew that Klingons had this code where they only eat with friends. But first I grabbed him in a bear-hug and smothered him in kisses! He was taken aback at first, but I could tell he liked it. We sat down, ate a big bowl of baksheesh, and drank some Champok, and then we began my debriefing. For five hours I told him about my life, my family, and the battles I took part in. There were a lot of technical questions, and he kept cross- referencing my accounts and my computer logs with the BBA files. Finally he said, "Tama, you are now an honoured citizen of the Klingon Empire, with a military pension from the Emperor himself. If you wish, you can be sent home to Andalusia today, and there a residence will be provided." I asked him, "Where do you live?" He replied, "In Koonadek, in a small house near the sea, with my parents. I looked him in the eye, and said, "Then I choose to live with you." We were married the next day in the Great Hall of Koonadek Palace. The Emperor himself was present. We took the oath in front of his Clan and the specially invited guests. I know it seems kind of fast, but you have to understand, I hadn't had a date in over a thousand years! The Durf Clan have this tradition that the military records of the bride and groom are read out before all present. The longer the record, the greater honour to the Clan. My husband is a BBA administrator, but he was a field operative, and it took them 40 minutes to read through a summary of his exploits. Then they started reading mine! I whispered to Serf, "We'll never get out of here!" It took 7 hours, and they read some of my logs in great detail. They had found out the names of the Klingons I had killed, and their descendants were the specially invited guests. When they were named, the relatives would stand up, scream to honour the dead, and then drink to his or her memory. They weren't angry with me, because I had brought honour to their clans by sending their ancestors to a warrior's death. I killed a lot of warriors in the War. Some of the guests had more than one ancestor killed, so quite a few were passed out before the end of the ceremony. Everyone said it was a great wedding! I fly the same Vulture today, the Emperor gave it to us, with the bunker, as a Wedding gift after he discovered I killed one of his honoured ancestors. I transport foodstuffs and passengers from the mountains to the City of Stolgon. We have a daughter, her name is Shana. We spend our weekends in our mountain home. Often we go for walks through the meadows. My husband thinks I'm nuts because I take my shoes off. I can't help it. I like to feel the grass beneath my feet." The Andalusian domestic situation had a great influence on the course of the war. Subsequent political administrations found an increasingly restive public that was opposed to the war. Returning veterans were insulted on the streets, and the military's once respected image became tarnished. The Commanders on Qo'noS were essentially powerless, and often had to wait weeks for the Joint Chiefs to make any effective decisions. Further, political interference prevented the use of nuclear technology, which would have quickly eradicated the Klingon Rebel Bases in the Mountains. Corporate lobbyists managed to get the legislative branch to pass a law forbidding the use of such weapons. The corporations were not concerned with the morality of killing, they were anxious to protect the dilithium deposits in the mountains. Dilithium is rendered useless by the electromagnetic pulse that accompanies a nuclear blast. Most Klingon and Andalusian historians agree that the war could have been won by Andalusia if General Kung had been given more freedom to manoeuvre. "General Kung, you are ordered to abandon the mission and return to base. We have advised the President that it would take at least 4 divisions to seize the rebel base in sector 2." "I have taken the Rebel Base in sector 2 with 1 division. What does the President want me to do, give it back?" - an exchange that took place between the joint chiefs and General Kung. Kung had no diplomatic skills, and was frequently at odds with his superiors. His eccentricities and bad temper were tolerated because he was also a military genius. He was later the only Andalusian General to hold the same rank in the Imperial Klingon Forces. R-18 General Kung, Andalusian and Klingon Hero. Kung was born on Qo'noS, to an Andalusian corporate manager and his geologist wife. Kung refused to attend the soft boarding school on Andalusia that his parents sent him to, instead he ran away and became a stowaway on a Qo'noS-bound freighter. The ship was struck by a meteor (a common problem at the time) and crashed on Qo'noS. Kung, at the age of 12, defended the survivors against a Klingon platoon for 6 hours, until help arrived. The Base Commander personally greeted Kung on his return to the base, and said, "You can have anything you want, simply ask, and it will be yours." "Fine," replied Kung, "I want your job." Within 8 years, Kung received what he had asked for. His parents were embarrassed by their son's military interests, which were not politically correct, and returned to Andalusia with their remaining children. Kung was given a battlefield commission of Lieutenant, and under the tutelage of the Base Commander became a skilled fighter and administrator. He quickly developed a reputation for tenacity, and one time flew a rescue mission solo because no one else would volunteer. Another time he disrupted a meeting of visiting Joint Chiefs, who were berating the Base Commander, loudly demanding that he deal with a Klingon Rebel General by invading a particularly hostile sector. Kung, covered in mud and blood, threw the Klingon's severed head onto their chart table. "Go home," said Kung. A journalist managed to film the incident, which became a major news story on Andalusia. Some felt it was just another example of the brutality of an evil war; others, that it was an Andalusian who was finally fighting back. When Kung was later asked why he took the dead Klingon's head, Kung replied, "By the time I was finished, there wasn't much left of the rest of him." The Andalusian President knew a winner when he saw one, and by executive order Kung was promoted to General. But it was too late. By 717, most of Qo'noS was in rebel hands, and the blockade from Agnon 4 prevented any resupply by Andalusian forces. Kung began a masterful series of battles that broke the rebel hold on Zarnia and Ossetia, and destroyed several key spaceports in Galicia. He was poised to take the main rebel base of Muscevegon, when the Joint Chiefs managed to put his forward attack bases into cryogenic sleep. Kung was incredulous, and demanded an explanation. The Chief of Staff, Admiral Yamong, said, "If we're too successful, we'll affect the peace talks. We almost had an agreement until you took Ossetia. We're trying to end the war." "Well done," replied Kung, "inform the President that you just lost it." The last three years were a series of defensive battles that were only delaying actions. Kung personally oversaw the evacuation of the Ossetian Garrison, and was the last man out. The final year of the Occupation involved an almost daily bombardment from the orbiting Klingon rebel fleet, and encroachments by Klingon ground troops. Kung appealed for the Joint Chiefs to allow him to evacuate his division from Qo'noS, but the President refused. Most Andalusians were tired of the war, and many were looking forward to its end. Veterans were still a despised class, and most of the presently serving Andalusian Occupation forces were born on Qo'noS. The Rebel Forces made this offer at the peace talks; "You don't want Kung. We do. None of these war criminals are to escape our grasp. Let us end this war. Why should they be allowed to die gloriously? Give us the command codes. We shall freeze them, and let them lie in their expensive bunkers deep beneath the ground." In 720, one of the most treacherous incidents in the history of peace "negotiations" took place. Political expediency won out over moral judgement. The Andalusian negotiating team handed over the codes to the Klingon Rebel diplomats. In a moment of irony, Kung was preparing to launch a break out, when the cryogenic sleep alarms went off. The entire division, including its equipment, and the entire civilian support crew, were frozen. Klingon forces slaughtered the remaining Andalusian defenders on the surface. For the first time in over 400 years, the Klingon Prince held court in the Great Hall. The Occupation was over. THE KLINGON TRIUMPH "An evil deed takes on a life of its own. It lives, it breathes, it grows. It will not stay hidden." - Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher and Royal Advisor to Prince Karas. "If they had exterminated our ancestors, their children would now enjoy the sunrise over Koonadek. Let us not make the same mistake they made. Grief is the fruit of pity." -Klingon Emperor Gorf The Methodical, ordering the extermination of the Andalusian Race. By 725, a phoney peace existed between the Klingons and the Andalusians. The Klingons had withdrawn from the peace talks, and now focused their energies on the rebuilding of Klingon cities. The Andalusians would have also been content to forget about the War, if it had not been for an enterprising journalist, who was given an official copy of the minutes of the Peace Talks, before the fall of Koonadek. Both the Andalusian and Klingon leadership had reason for embarrassment. The Klingon negotiating team did not have the authority to use the cryogenic access codes (CACs). In fact, when Prince Dracuf was informed that the activation of the CACs were not the result of an accident, but a deliberate action by his negotiators, he was livid, "Fools!" He cried at the cowering group, "I waited years to wrap my hands around Kung's throat, the honour of destroying him, was mine! Mine Alone! How dare you rob me of my birthright! Kung now sleeps beneath my feet, where none can reach him. One day he will walk the streets of Koonadek again, because you idiots spared his life. You enjoy burying others alive, I can think of no better punishment." R-20 Prince Dracuf The entire team was buried alive in the Emperor's flower garden. He later had a footpath built across the graves. The Andalusian situation was much brighter, and most people were relieved that the War was over. The economy was doing well, and the stock piles of dilithium were more than adequate for the next few centuries. In short, the war had done exactly what it was designed to do. But in time, however, public opinion towards the war began to swing in the opposite direction. Novels and films portraying Andalusian War heroes (the Kung series was particularly popular) (55) (55) I Never Left Anyone Behind - Whatever happened to General Kung? - A hard-hitting documentary series by Andalusian Public Broadcasting (APB), it effectively rebutted the Military version, which claimed that Kung was killed while trying to save his own life by abandoning his division on Koonadek. This claim was shown to be completely out of character with every other event in Kung's military career. The success of this series provoked public discussion of a formerly taboo topic; what had happened in Koonadek during the last days of the War? And why would the Military tell such an outlandish story, unless they had something they were trying to hide? The success of the documentary changed the perception of the War. Surviving veterans were now sought after as nominees in political campaigns, and one veteran, Jok Rabos, ran for the presidency in 730. He was given little chance of winning until the scandal broke. A book titled, "Lost Minutes," detailed the treachery of the Present Administration and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The President resigned and several generals were imprisoned for their part in the Kung betrayal. Rabos won by a landslide, and pledged to force the Klingons to acknowledge their Andalusian Masters, and that Andalusian forces would bring Kung and his division home. R-21 Andalusian President, Rabos President Rabos' administration sent an embassy to Koonadek, offering the rebels amnesty and limited autonomy in exchange for laying down their weapons and acknowledging Andalusian Sovereignty. As well, the team made it clear they expected every cooperation from the Klingons in the recovery of Kung and his division. After 400 years of Andalusian domination, the Klingons were in no mood to take orders. The Council of Mothers of Slain Warriors (56) (56) Council of Mothers of Slain Warriors - A Judicial body that has the right to review Klingon laws; they are the Supreme Court of Klingon, arbitrating disputes, and personally meting out punishment. Most defendants try to be heard in a lower court. tore the messengers to pieces. By order of the Council of Elders the Andalusian skulls were made into elaborate drinking cups. They were sent to Andalusia with the message: "There will be peace, but not today." President Rabos ordered the mobilization of the Andalusian Fleet, and with the prior approval of the legislature and the support of the public, War was officially declared on the Klingons (57). (57) It is an interesting footnote to history that there never was an official state of war between the Klingons and Andalusia during the Occupation. It was legally referred to as a 'conflict.' In fact a major stumbling block to an early peace treaty was that the Andalusian High Court declared the document legally void, because one cannot legally conclude a peace without having first legally declared War. Declaring war would have meant political suicide. Had the document been approved, the war would have ended 20 years earlier, with the saving of millions of lives. "What cannot, between nations, be accomplished through civil negotiation, will be done through violence. We will compel the Klingons to obey." - President Jok Rabos, in his Annual Speech to the Nation. In 732, a second Andalusian invasion force landed on Qo'noS and took all of Koonadek except for Koonadek Palace. The Admiral in command of the Fleet asked the President for permission to move his ships out of orbit, to a location behind Praxi's (one of Qo'noS's moons), which was safe from the sudden meteor storms that often swept the system at this time of year. Rabos told him to stay in position, as their support would be needed for the surface bombardment of Koonadek Palace. Under protest, Admiral Halsef kept his fleet in position. "I looked to the sky, and saw a great many lights shoot across the heavens. I woke my wife and children up to see this beauty, and I remarked that it seemed early in the season for the Southern lights to light up the sky so. Then we saw great chunks of debris fall, trailing great sheets of flame. Some pieces exploded with vibrant electrical discharges that radiated lightning for many kilometers around. We thought that it was a victory celebration, with elaborate fireworks. I later learned it was no celebration, but it was a victory." - An amateur Klingon astronomer, who witnessed the destruction of the Andalusian Invasion Fleet. Specialists classify meteor storms as any sector of space through which a large debris field is passing at a rapid rate, for a given length of time. Until they were removed recently, these orbiting meteor storms would travel through the Klingon system every 5 months. A severe storm could last 3 weeks. The Klingons had gambled that a provocative response to the earlier Andalusian overtures would result in an invasion fleet arriving during meteor season. They were not disappointed. Andalusian Force field technology was not particularly advanced, and their shields were only capable of resisting impacts for a short period of time. But to power the shields all power from the engines had to diverted. The choice was simple, sit still and hope that the storm would be a short one, or make a run for it, hoping to avoid any impacts (the limitation being that it took considerable time to start up the warp engines). The Andalusians were surprised by a freak storm, because solar flares had blinded their sensors. The storm lasted for 3-weeks, and only a few badly damaged battlecruisers (10% of the fleet) survived to limp home. Admiral Halsef's premonition of trouble had been confirmed (58). (58) Admiral Halsef became the first Andalusian Admiral in history to murder a serving President. He was pardoned by the former-vice president, Quaylof. Cut-off without reinforcements, the dispirited invaders were slaughtered. By 733, the last Andalusian soldier had been rounded up and executed. It was the last time Andalusian forces would land on Klingon. THIEVES IN THE NIGHT "A Zirch is magnificent in its ability to fight with grace and purpose. But I have seen packs of Jitterjangs bite at the Zirch's paws and tail, until tormented and frustrated, it leaves it's food to the pack. No matter how great one's strength, it is not wise to fight more than one enemy at a time." - Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher "Like fools, they had left the dilithium out in the open! There were millions of tonnes, piled on the ground like sand on a beach! Further up the valley were automated factories that processed and shaped the crystals, for later storage and use. My first officer estimated that there were enough crystals to power Her Majesty's Fleet for hundreds of years. We have already begun the removal of the crystals, and I suspect before long the Andalusians will begin objecting. May I have Her Romulan Majesty's blessing to station a garrison, and perhaps, if she is so disposed, to start a war?" - Commander Jarek, of Her Romulan Majesty's Ship, Terror, requesting support and approval in the theft of Andalusian dilithium supplies, in 736. The supplies could not be kept on Andalusia, because of the electromagnetic pulses given of by the Andalusian sun. They were millions of times weaker than that from a nuclear burst, but they could cause the same damage to raw crystals. The dilithium had been stored in what was believed to be a 'safe' solar system. It was safe from Klingons, but the Andalusians had not considered the expanding Romulan Empire. R-22 Romulan Commander, Jarek In 732, with the loss of much of their battlefleet, and most of their advanced equipment left on the Klingon surface, the Andalusians were forced to revert to a War-Time economy. Conscription was brought back, and after numerous riots which burned out major cities, Martial Law was invoked for the duration of the War. Democracy was dead. The Andalusians still enjoyed a numerical advantage in ships over the Klingons, but the Klingon planets could not be taken. The war was confined to a corridor of systems, that were known as 'no- man's land'. The tide was beginning to turn in favour of the Andalusians, who had destroyed a Klingon Battlefleet in orbit around Agnon 4. Andalusian forces were able to launch strikes on Klingon cities with very light casualties. It was the arrival of the Romulan Empire in 736, that altered the course of the War. Romulan Commander Jarek was a ruthless office-seeker, who was hated by everyone who ever served with him. The following is one description by a former underling: "When Jarek enters a room, all conversation stops, and eyes are downcast. He will find fault with anything, and believes that all are allied against him. An error, or accident aboard ship are the result of plotting by the crew, so he will say. He has the power of life and death over us, and I have seen him exercise that power many times." Jarek's dilithium discovery not only won him the Empress's approval, it also won her, and he became her consort. Since only a female may occupy the throne, he could only play the role of advisor. But it was a powerful role nonetheless. The Andalusian corporate employees assigned to collect the processed dilithium were shocked to encounter Romulan Customs Agents waiting on the ground. One engineer describes what happened next, "...seeing Romulan signs and personnel all over the complex. A Customs agent gave me some forms to fill out, which he thoughtfully translated for me. He asked me what was I doing on Romulan Territory? I told him it was Andalusian Territory. He laughed and said we can call it what we like, the point is there are Romulan Troops all over it. Then he stamped my passport and wished me a safe trip home. There was even a duty-free shop, and I purchased some Romulan Ale, of good quality. It was a very strange experience." The Andalusian Government was not as amused by the Romulan "Let's be nice to tourists act," and demanded a swift and immediate withdrawal. The Romulans sent back a one word answer, "No." Thus began the Romulo-Andalusian War, better known as the War of the Crystals. Romulan Tactics and technology were about the same as Andalusian, perhaps even deficient in some regards. But the Romulans had a distinct advantage in wealth and manpower. The Andalusians had been bled dry by the Klingon Conflict. The Andalusian Intelligence Services presented a joint analysis to their President. Defeat was inevitable in a two-front war. The only hope for survival was to conclude a separate peace with the Klingons, and then negotiate a peace with the Romulans. In 736, Klingon Prince, Proszac the Melancholy, agreed to an armistice, but not a peace treaty. In exchange for ending hostilities, Andalusia surrendered ten solar systems surrounding Qo'noS, apologized for the occupation, and pledged reparations. It also formally recognized the existence of the Klingon Empire. With this recognition, the Klingon High Council decided to mark the occasion in a fitting manner. As the World of Qo'noS was now officially recognized as an Empire, the Council voted unanimously to change the title of Prince to Emperor. They felt that such a title was more appropriate for the leader of a great and expanding Empire. Thus Proszac became the first Emperor in the history of the Klingon Empire. In 739, the Romulan Empire agreed to withdraw from the disputed system, and a peace treaty was signed. Jarek had advised his Empress to withdraw for the following reasons: "My life, we have taken all of the crystals, except for a few baubles that have been sculpted to, shall we say, provide more energy than is expected? The Andalusians will have no choice but to attack their Klingon pets again. Both sides will savage the other, until only one weak, battered combatant is left standing. Then we shall send in some Romulan school children, to kill the remnants of this mongrel breed." While no territory was lost, the Andalusian economy was in tatters. Worse still, all the dilithium had been taken or sabotaged by the Romulans. The Andalusians were quickly in danger of becoming an advanced society without an energy source, again. Further, the heavy losses sustained fighting the Romulans had caused the Andalusian population to drop disastrously. In 745, the need for slave labour and the rich dilithium deposits of Klingon Mining Planets in the Verda System, lead to a series of border incidents resulting in the renewal of hostilities. The war was nothing more than series of delaying actions, with the Klingons quickly taking the offensive. Unlike the Andalusians, the Klingons would never commit all of their forces in a pitched battle. Instead, their long-term strategy was to occupy Andalusian planets, wipe out all resident opposition, and then move on to the next planet. The Andalusian advantage in technology was eliminated by the huge manpower and energy resources available to the Klingons. The war slowly became the last desperate act of a dying nation. The rest of Andalusian history is a record of decline: the arts and sciences became neglected, daily life became brutalized, and once vibrant cities fell into decay. Whole neighbourhoods became abandoned shells, and wild animals and vegetation took over the collapsed dwellings. Government became a series of brutal strongmen, who ruled as they saw fit. An educator living on Andalusia in the final days, left this description, "Water no longer comes into the house but must be fetched from outside, though it is still not fit to drink until after it has been boiled. Gangs of veterans fight each other in the streets daily, and at night animals scavenge their bodies. I have spent my days gathering texts and computer disks, which I have buried in different locations throughout the city. One day after we are all dead (and I hope that day is soon), others will wish to know something about our race, what we were, and what we were capable of. Everything lies in ruin now. I have seen Klingon troops on the outskirts of the city. I do not believe that they will let us live, and I will not blame them if they do not." "If you destroy the past, deny its relevance to the present, then eventually you destroy the soul of the nation." - Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher and court advisor to Karas the Cruel. In 1004, the home world of Andalusia, the last Andalusian planet, was occupied by Klingon forces. The Andalusian race was exterminated as part of Emperor Gorf's Klingonization policies. This dark chapter in Klingon history was but one incident of a genocidal decree by Klingons. Many Klingons hid Andalusians in their own homes, others found refuge in isolated communities. Few survived for long. The BBA was ordered to establish a special branch to track down and exterminate Andalusians. Archival documentation indicates that BBA officers were less than enthusiastic about such activities, and the special branch actually disobeyed orders and helped Andalusians escape (59, 60). (59) A Bajoran diplomat named Valdo was instrumental in saving 24,000 Andalusians, by providing them with passports and securing transportation from sympathetic BBA officers. He was taken prisoner by a Romulan border patrol during his last rescue mission. Klingon Emperor, Gorf, had communicated to the Romulans his displeasure with Valdo's activities. In exchange for a trade treaty, the Romulans executed Valdo in prison, though this was always officially denied - Deceit Between Nations, how diplomacy works, in THE ROMULAN FILES, An Untold Story, by the authors. (60) Gorf was forced to establish a separate detachment to deal with the Andalusians. These Klingons were called Andalusian Trackers, or ATs. They operated on a bounty system, and were recruited from the Klingon Empire's brutal mining communities . Ruthless and amoral, they were highly successful at their job. "I had reports of an Andalusian family in the lake district of Thratha, not far from the Andalusian capital of Andalar. The BBA officers would have nothing to do with me, and even impounded my vehicle. Expecting this behavior, I had brought enough cash to purchase another. I received no cooperation from any of the Klingon settlers, who said the war was over, and there was no honour in killing the innocent. Who cares about honour? Was there honour for me in growing up in a tunnel, never seeing daylight for years on end? What honour was there for my brothers and sisters who died of hunger? These settlers are soft from gentle living. The Andalusians have more value, at least they are worth something dead... I located the home after several weeks. The cabin was in a secluded valley, and cannot be seen from the air. A large camouflaged hydroponic garden was located next to a cliff, beneath an overhang. I witnessed exchanges of greetings and commodities on almost a daily basis between the Andalusians and their Klingon neighbours. I could enclose a list of names and addresses (for an added sum of course), so that you may also deal with these traitors. The family consisted of a male, roughly 45 years in age, his spouse of about the same age, and two children, an infant and a young girl of perhaps 3. I waited for the little girl to go walking in the woods and collect flowers, as was her daily habit. I killed her with a small laser blast. As the mother was tending the livestock I entered the home and finished off the infant, then I killed the mother as she came in the back door. That took several shots. The male returned around noon, carrying a large animal that he had trapped. He entered the home, and became enraged when he saw what had happened. Blind with fury, he ran about the small farm, looking for me. That was my plan, for I wanted him off-balance. From a tree blind that I had constructed overnight, I killed him with one shot to the head. As per our orders, I collected their ears which I have enclosed with this letter as proof of my work." - the chilling recount of one AT's successful mission. After Gorf died, the BBA in turn tracked down and executed every AT. This was done without the new Emperor's permission or knowledge. The BBA was so disgusted with this behavior, they took it upon themselves to act as the moral conscience of the Klingon Empire. The war that had been started by a group of power-hungry, profit- seeking Andalusian politicians, had come full circle; with Andalusia occupied by the Klingon Empire. KLINGON CULTURE 2 THE KLINGON WAR MACHINE THE ACADEMY "I entered the officer's club and asked for a drink. One man, a Captain, I think, asked me what rank I held. I told him I held no rank. Then he asked me if I had served in the Space Fleet. I told him never. I was immediately surrounded by a group of angry, drunken sailors. The Captain spoke again, and said, "I have killed 200 with my own hands! I have led these men, my crew, through many glorious battles! I wish to know, you miserable piece of scum, why you think you may drink in a bar for Warriors? "I'm a substitute teacher," I replied. Their eyes widened, several gasped in amazement, others vomited uncontrollably. The Captain spoke again, but in a whisper, "Did you say, substitute teacher, sir?" "Yes," I answered, "my specialty is Junior High." They fell over each other as they ran out of the bar. A normal reaction. - Klingon Substitute teacher, relating an encounter with Klingon Military Personnel. Substitute teaching is considered the most dangerous Klingon Occupation, and in time of War the BBA uses school lists to organize their substitutes into Special Forces Units. Ruthless, even by Klingon standards, the Klingon Substitute Core has never lost a military engagement. Along with her officers and crew, a great Klingon Battlecruiser is home to a group of adolescents. Their position is comparable to the Federation's rank of Midshipman. These future officers, referred to as Junior Officers, are almost exclusively the offspring of the Klingon Aristocracy. Even then, families often have to pull strings (or remove heads) to get their son or daughter into the Academy. Once accepted, the cadet travels to Koonadek, where written and physical exams are conducted. Six months of intensive pre-space instruction follow. The course load includes: Celestial navigation, weapons operation and maintenance, small arms use, engine theory, and foreign language instruction. The languages taught include: English, Romulan, Cardassian, and Ferengi. When the cadet had successfully completed all the required preparatory courses, one final challenge remains. As a Klingon warrior is expected to be able to defeat more powerful foes, the Klingon academy has designed a test to measure a cadet's courage. Called the Beloshion trial, it is comparable to the Federation's Kobayashi Maru test. Armed only with a small dagger, and their "Warrior Spirit", the cadet enters the "Pit of Glory", and meets their "adversary" (51). R-19 Beloshion Ice Bear (51)- The "adversary" comes from the remote planet of Belosha. The planet was one of the first outside Klingon sectors to be colonized by the Empire. The planet is similar to Pluto in the Sol solar system (comparable size and distance from the sun). Belosha has no native intelligent life, and its importance is strictly limited to its vast mineral deposits. The whole planet is covered by an ice sheet 50 kilometers thick, and life has adapted to survive such a harsh environment. The top of the food chain is occupied by the Beloshion ice bear. A Federation zoologist described the beast most adequately: " Beloshion ice bears are very short tempered, mean spirited, and this is on a good day. It looks like one of Earth's Polar bears that had been using large doses of Anabolic Steroids." Once the cadet enters the "Pit of Glory", the large steel doors are shut, and his or her "performance" monitored. The pit is a large enclosure filled with thick tropical vegetation, high humidity, and temperatures of 80 Centrigrade. Since the Ice Bear comes from a region of low humidity, low temperatures, and unobscured visibility, the new surroundings confuse and anger the beast. Any moving object becomes the subject of the animal's revenge. If the cadet survives, he or she is immediately posted to a Battlecruiser. If the Bear emerges victorious, it is outfitted with a locater device (such a worthy competitor would be called upon in future), and returned to Belosha (52). (52)-One Klingon Admiral was so impressed with the victorious bear, he transported it back to his flagship, and made the beast squadron mascot. While cantankerous and moody at first, it soon was taught respect by the Admiral's grandmother, who would daily beat the creature into submission. LIFE IN THE KLINGON MILITARY "War is an art. Like all arts, it demands creativity, passion, dedication, and talent. It manifests itself in expressions of violence that can be momentary, or permanent. But War is different from all the other arts. The purpose of the other arts is to enhance life. The purpose of War is to control life; and as a consequence, to end life." - Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher and Royal Advisor to Karas the Cruel. With such an expanse of space to be patrolled, the Klingon Empire depends almost exclusively on their Military Space Fleet. Only when an opponent's space forces are neutralized, can Klingon ground troops move in. When not at war the Klingon space fleet becomes the law enforcer of the Quadrant. From watching Romulan boarder patrols, to chasing pirates preying on Klingon bound freighters, the ships of the Klingon fleet are always kept busy. Crewing these far-flung spaceships are hundreds of officers and thousands of warriors. Many have spent an entire career in space without ever being in a battle. Most of the officers who served in the Klingon Empire's Great Wars (Cardassia, Federation, Romulus), received their baptism in small localized disputes involving uprisings by subjugated populations. Legendary acts of bravery were often performed during these rebellions. Admiral Kerf, losing both arms in battle, emerged victorious, after he kicked his opponent to death. Commodore Berof slaying 42 Andalusian commandos in one afternoon, only to lose her life by choking to death at supper. Finally there is the enduring legend of Captain Parf, who fought for 20 days and nights with a relentless opponent, only to be slain when his attacker smashed his skull with her dentures. All are immortalized in the great hall of Koonadek with life size figureheads. A Klingon Battlecruiser is an entity unto itself. Ruling with absolute power over the travelling city, wielding authority over all, is the Captain. A typical Klingon Captain rarely takes advice, and any subordinate who does not measure up, is quickly dispatched. Down through Klingon military history, a couple of Captains (and flag officers) distinguished themselves, not by victory, but by eccentricity. Captain Hortoff "relaxed" by wrestling with his pet Zirch, which he kept in his stateroom. His wife later filed for divorce, claiming that he spent more time with "that hideous creature", than with her. The Captain responded that the word "hideous" is a relative term. Admiral Gortaf, gained recognition in another manner. Stripping off his clothes, he would race the ship's decks, beating a drum, shouting "Prepare for war games, prepare for war games". Those who refused to obey his commands were ceremoniously beaten to death with the drum. One Admiral, fearing that the fresh food brought aboard would not last, "moved" Kan Ada day forward by a week. Another Captain, invited to dine at a local Governor's on the Emperor's birthday, declined saying he would have a headache on that day. The Governor reported the Captain to his Admiral, whereby the Captain replied "I have had a headache everyday for the last six months, and I don't think that the Emperor's birthday will be any different." After the Admiral beheaded the Captain, it was assumed his headaches disappeared. Captains often took wide latitude in matters of dress. If the Captain liked gold braid, all the officers wore gold braid. If the officers went to another ship whose Captain thought gold braid pretentious, all the embroidery came off (and often so did attached appendages). When a peculiar behavior in a warship officer fermented into madness, two of the most frequently used options were, death or isolation. After years on a foreign station crowded into cramped wardrooms, officers often ate without speaking to one another. This was a tolerable solution to the problem, as initiators of conversation were either killed or had their tongues bitten off. Alcoholic beverages permitted on board to break down tensions, and mitigate the effect of isolation, sometimes made things worse (53) (53)- In one case (still studied at the Klingon Military Academy), an entire Klingon Battlecruiser squadron disappeared after a contaminated batch of Romulan Ale was distributed to the ships. Samples of the Ale, later analyzed, found it to be 400 proof. The last transmission from the lost squadron was "On your mark, get set, go!" A Ferengi once came aboard a Klingon cruiser while the ship was on a diplomatic mission to the Ferengi home world. He found the Captain and First officer in the wardroom. One was huddled in a corner, suffering delirium tremors, the other was picking up the bodies of imaginary jetterjangs (a small rodent) with a stick. Going to the engineroom, the Ferengi found the chief engineer lying on the floor, shouting "My containment fields have ruptured and I can't get up!" The engineer thought that he was the ship's reactor, and that core meltdown was inevitable. The ordinary warrior (crew) in a Klingon battlecruiser, faces a daily test of survival. Those that do not adapt, do not survive. Everything is done on the run, to the clamour of shouts, threats, and death cries. There is no privacy and little uninterrupted rest. Crew members stand watch for 12 hours, and then "off" for 6. For many the "off" becomes a period of treating wounds sustained in the day's routine operations. In peace time crew members have more idle time, so ways have to be found to keep them occupied (54). (54)- One Captain solved the idleness in a unique manner. He would select one crew member each day and offer the crew member the Captaincy, provided the crew member could defeat him in battle. With the other off-duty crew watching, the two warriors would face each other and commence to fight. The Captain retained his command through 54 challenges. He finally "relinquished" authority when an 18 year old cadet slew him in 12 seconds. She later rose to the rank of Admiral and had a very distinguished career. Discipline in the Klingon space fleet is based on violence. Venturing into space has not removed the warrior spirit from the Klingon race. If violence does not keep juniors in line then death is "tried". As one Captain recorded in his daily log "after executing the second officer there were no further incidents of insubordination, as he remains at his station, and never questions my commands." Despite the harsh atmosphere of service in the Klingon military, there are often more volunteers than positions aboard the fleet's Battlecruisers. TACTICS "...yeah, it was a quite a shock the first time I met Worf. He was the first Klingon I'd ever met. I've taken part in the Academy holodeck simulations as part of the cultural courses, but it was a shock to meet the real thing. I'd heard of Worf, and to be frank, I guess I was a little prejudiced. All those history lessons about battles with the Klingons, that sort of stuff. Worf had just arrived on the Enterprise, and had just come down to familiarize himself with Engineering. I said "Hi! I'm Jordi LaForge, ship's helmsman, pleased to meet you." He just stood there staring at me, and then said, "I am Worf, second in security, I know who you are, it's my job." Then he just stood there staring at me. I went back to work, but for the first week whenever he was around me, he wouldn't say a word, he'd just stare. It was really getting on my nerves! Finally I figured out it was my visor. I guessed he'd never seen a blind guy before. I thought, hey, that's his problem. One day we're in the turbo-lift, and he's staring at my visor again, I'd had enough. I didn't care if he was a Klingon, I'm not some freak-show. So I told the computer to stop the turb-lift. I turned to Worf, I took off my visor, and said, "Go On! Take a good long look! I'm blind! I guess there aren't any blind Klingons, maybe they don't make very good warriors! Visor or no visor, any time you feel lucky you let me know! I'll meet you on the holodeck!" Worf was shocked, and said "Commander, I meant no offense. I was being respectful. When a Klingon Warrior loses his sight, his hearing is everything. To engage in idle banter would be the same as shining lights in the eyes of someone who can see. Both would cause confusion, and possibly aid an enemy to approach. There was a great Klingon teacher, Kan Ada, who fought his last battle without the use of his eyes. He fought with honor, and he died well. Kan Ada gave us the twelve Sacred Principles of Klingon. When I see you, Commander LaForge, I see Kan Ada. A blind Warrior is a deadly adversary, and a powerful friend. Forgive me." I was floored! Talk about putting your foot in your mouth, I did it right up to the knee! There I was thinking he had a hang-up, and all along I was the guy with the hang-up. So I said, "Worf, I'm sorry. I was out of line...Is it true that Klingon Warriors don't drink with their enemies?" He said, "It is our code." So I asked, "Worf, you want to go to Ten Forward for a drink?" And he said, "I would be honored, Commander." And that's how I became friends with Worf... Oh, by the way, you guys better lay off with the sex questions, he's really getting ticked off..." - Authors' interview with Commander Jordi LaForge, describing how he met Lt. Worf. The most desired form of battle for any Klingon warrior is hand to hand combat. This primordial urge followed the Klingon Race when it first ventured into space. Single, ship-to-ship action is the ultimate test for a Klingon Captain and crew. Unlike the crews of some foreign nations, Klingon warriors are eager to get to grips with the enemy. A Klingon Captain never has to repeat an order about engaging the enemy. In fact the ship is usually on an intercept course before the Captain has a chance to give the first order! Ship-to-ship action has no negative outcome for the Klingon warrior. They will emerge as glorious heros, or die with honour as true Klingon warriors. Both are equally satisfying. BLOCKADE The Klingon military first learned to appreciate the value of blockade, during the Second Romulo-Klingon war. The Empire was nearly starved into submission by the blockading Cardassian/Romulan Fleets. Only an all out breakout and battle managed to stem the tide of Romulan victory. Consequently, when the Klingon Empire began to conquer new worlds, one of the first strategies employed was to blockade the enemy's planets and space corridors. If a decisive military engagement could not be achieved, then the Klingon Navy would isolate their adversary by blockade. "Those far distant, storm-beaten ships, upon which the Grand army never looked, stood between it and the dominion of the world." -17th century Earth writer, referring to the merits of Blockade. CHAPTER NINE RELATIONS BETWEEN THE FEDERATION AND THE KLINGON EMPIRE FIRST CONTACT WITH HUMANS "Never underestimate an enemy." - Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher and Royal Advisor to Karas the Cruel. What was supposed to be a friendly, diplomatic first contact with the Klingon Empire, quickly turned into 70 years of conflict between the two powers. As a result, the Federation today follows a strict protocol when making first contact with alien civilizations. Remote sensing and undercover surveillance are maintained for long periods of time. Official contact is only made when a civilization is on the verge of Warp technology. This policy was the result of the disastrous first contact with the Klingon Empire. The innocence in which the Federation approached the Klingons was a cultural call to war for the Klingon leadership. A more appropriate contact could have been designed by the Federation Behavioral Sciences Diplomatic Branch (FBSDB), had they been given enough background information. The following describes how 70 years of conflict began. In 1614, an Andalusian intelligence unit was discovered in a bunker 5000 m below the living quarters of Koonadek Palace (132). (132)- Koonadek Palace was the administrative center during the Andalusian occupation. There is a huge bunker complex located deep below the Palace, much of it still unexplored. The presence of still operational Andalusian weapons systems has made it a painfully slow excavation process. All excavations are supervised by the Bureau of Barbarian Affairs. Once revived, the curators revealed the remains of various extraterrestrial space probes that the Andalusians had been studying. Emperor Horf the Brutal, upon hearing of the discovery of the intelligence team, and their work on probes, decided to form a new Klingon intelligence organization, devoted solely to the understanding and capture of alien space technology. It was placed under the Ministry of Astronomical Sciences, Special-Branch. The minister of this department was also the Emperor (133). (133)- Emperor Horf obtained his title shortly after his coronation. He was invited to a debate at the Imperial University, where the topic was the future of the Monarchy in Klingon society. After a series of speakers extolled the virtues of the present system, a young law student took the podium. Logically and eloquently, he explained why democracy was the better choice, and how the Klingon Monarchy was an anachronism from a primitive age. He received a standing ovation from his fellow students. Emperor Horf was asked if he cared to make a rebuttal. He was greeted with thunderous applause. Horf strode forward, as if to shake the student's hand (as per custom), instead he physically tore the students head off, and placed it on the podium. R-38 Emperor Horf the Brutal " Do you question the dawn? Do you question the sunset? Has too much learning softened your brains? There is a monarchy for one simple reason, it works! If something is not broken, why fix it?" Those who question my existence will forfeit theirs. And you (pointing to the front row of students), who so happily embraced this learned fool's words, may contemplate them for the rest of your lives in orbit." The entire graduating class was taken directly to a waiting shuttle, and interred in orbit on a prison barge. The university administration quickly apologized. The next debate asked the question "Which is more deadly, a Zirch or a Female?" Afterwards Emperor Horf remarked "Now one can see the value of higher learning." The BBA brought their Andalusian team a perplexing puzzle, an alien probe that could not be deciphered. The Andalusian Scientists were able to deduce its point of origin with an error of + or - 12 light years. It was in fact an almost forgotten American space craft (the 'Mars Mariner') originally thought to have been lost near the Planet Mars, in the 1990's (Earth time). The origin was Earth, now the Administrative Center of the Federation. In 1616, the BBA reported the presence of a new race, found terra- forming unclaimed planets beyond the frontier. Their physical description corresponded to data obtained from other earth probes. Horf ordered the BBA to bring before him a representative of this new and potential threat. "Ambassadors are often the most politically corrupt, brown- nosing, unsavoury characters ever born. And the odd part is knowing all this, we still send them to other planets to negotiate peace treaties!" - Astronomer John Burke, commenting on Federation Diplomacy. Burke mapped the area of space that included Sherman's Planet, which was later to become an area of dispute between the Klingon Empire and the Federation. - In 1617, (2218 Earth time) United Federation of Planets Ambassador, Tsu Hong became the first human to set foot on Qo'NoS (134). Hong picture Federation Ambassador, Tsu Hong (134) Tsu Hong was born in Aspen, Colorado in 1559 (2150). His mother was a General in the United States Spacefleet, which was later incorporated into the Federation Fleet as per the Federation Treaty of Union, in 1570 (2161). Unlike Burke's generalization, Tsu Hong was a highly skilled career diplomat, who had risen up through the civil service on merit alone. He had been involved in previous first contacts, and for these reasons was selected for this assignment. Hong presented his credentials to Horf at the Great Hall, and explained the Federation Prime Directive. He elaborated on the role that democracy played in the Federation. Horf was left in total disgust. The following exchange took place. Horf-"Let me make sure I have understood you correctly. Your Federation exists to protect the weakest with the aid of the strongest. That if a weak group displeases you, there is no disciplinary action. That your main goals are to explore new worlds, for nothing more than to expand your knowledge and make new friends. Is this a correct interpretation of your words? Hong-"Yes your majesty, your interpretation is a correct one." Horf-"Such a doctrine is the constitution of fools, and of the weak. Surely your federation does not plan to survive for any length of time? Those worlds you are colonizing belong to us. Your Federation will make a nice addition to the Glorious Klingon Empire. Be off with you." Thus began the Klingon-Federation War. In 1632 (earth time 2223), expecting an easy victory, Klingon Battle fleets moved into a disputed solar system. The Klingon advantage in manpower was quickly neutralized by the Federation's superior technology and tactics. Klingon cloaking technology was countered by Federation sensor systems which were extremely sensitive to neutrino emissions. The Klingon High Command could have destroyed the Federation early in the War by taking out the sensor stations, which were for the most part automated and undefended. Again, cultural misunderstanding led to military mistakes. The BBA had examined some of the stations, but the language barrier and differences in technology prevented the Klingons from understanding the purpose of such installations. It was generally agreed that if they were important, they would have been defended. The Klingons believed that the sensor outposts were nothing more than decoys on which to waste precious resources. This had been a strategy used by General Kung, who once deceived the Klingons into launching an all-out offensive on an automated base that had been filled with defensive systems. After it was occupied, Kung ordered the detonation of the nuclear devices hidden below the complex. The resulting crater is now a popular resort lake. By the time BBA teams had deciphered the real purpose of these outposts, all Federation ships were equipped with sensors that could reliably detect cloaked Klingon ships. As a result, neither side could deliver a knock-out punch. In 1633 (2224), Emperor Horf was killed by his blind grandmother (a former commando and veteran of the Cardassian War) in the family living quarters. She beat him to death with her white cane after he made the mistake of striking her when she criticized his military strategy. Horf was considered to have died with honour (135). R-39 Grand Ma Horf (134) KLINGON CUSTOMS AND VALUES, An introductory text, by the authors. According to Klingon tradition, the grandmother takes a central role in the Klingon family. Her advice is routinely sought in settling domestic disputes. As most Klingon women have an extensive military background, a grandmother's verdict may be harsh and absolute. In 1635 (2226), an armistice was signed in the Great Hall of Koonadek. But the Cold war between these two superpowers now began in earnest. An arms race developed, and a dangerous competition for diplomatic influence rapidly evolved. The strategy of containment (136) won acceptance in the Federation, but the Klingons continued to probe Federation Frontiers (137). (136)- SECURING OUR BOARDERS THROUGH ACTIVE CONTAINMENT, Blueprint for long term UFP military strategy for dealing with the Klingon threat. Located in the archives of Starfleet Academy, it was concluded that all out war with the Klingons would be impossible to win given their numerically superior forces. "Their technology is superior to ours. Human behavior is dangerous because it is unpredictable. This combination gives the Federation the ability to penetrate deep into the Empire. We must constantly remind them how costly such an endeavour would be. But this must be done carefully. It is not honourable to fight a war that can only weaken the Empire. Our goal must be harmony, therefore our conflicts must have purpose" (137)- Emperor Leras The Serious Imperial Klingon archives, Koonadek Palace, Klingon. THE BATTLE OF DONATU V "We will bury you." - Emperor Krushoff the Stupid. "Ask not what the Federation can do for you, but what you can do for the Federation." - President Dan Rather V, of the Federation in 1657. "There are always options." - Lt. Warf, Chief Security Officer, U.S.S. Enterprise. The problem with a Cold War is that with the slightest spark it can become a hot one. Both sides struggled to contain the hawks who continually clamoured for War, but at the same time both had to remain firm in their resolve when dealing with each other. The balancing act almost led to total war, with the ascension of Emperor Krushoff the Stupid (139). R-40 Krushoff the Stupid (139) A veteran of the Klingon-Federation War, he distinguished himself in battle and received several promotions. He slew his way to the top of the military bureaucracy, and managed to get himself adopted by several powerful families. With the death of Emperor Leras in a fishing accident (the Zirch lived), Krushoff challenged the other claimants. He emerged victorious and was proclaimed Emperor. Krushoff earned his moniker, 'the Stupid', because of his inability to see more than one solution to a problem. All decisions were his and his alone, no other view points were accepted (140). (140) Surviving former teachers stated that he was a very difficult discipline problem in Junior High. By 1650 (2241), Donatu V was inhabited by a race of humanoids descended from a pirate fleet that had gone off course. Their society was quite violent, but they also had a tradition of democracy. A War Lord, Catros, managed to secure the leadership of the planet after a long conflict, thanks to BBA support. The BBA asked for permission to establish a secret surveillance station on Donatu V, offering additional military and technological aid in exchange. Krushoff decided that was simplistic. He 'discussed' this with his advisors. "How many times must you people demonstrate that I am the only man with any brains in Koonadek? Donatu V is only 16 light years from Earth! The heart of the Federation lays exposed before us, with only Sherman's planet watching the border. Why build a surveillance station, when we can build a First Strike Base! We will force this human pestilence to cede Sherman's planet. Of course the human leader has an advantage over me, he's able to surround himself with intelligent life... you! Yes, director of the peeping-Tom squad, what is your problem with my plan?" BBA Director Ness replied, "Sir, while your plan is one of paramount wisdom, there is the danger of provoking the humans into a War that my be devastating to the Empire. We must concern ourselves with the danger of a Romulan attack. At issue also is the need to replace several aging drydocks, which would not be possible with your planned expenditure on Donatu V. The Empire continues to expand and the Federation has not tested our defenses in years. They have shown sincere efforts in maintaining peace. I do not believe the humans will be complacent when they learn of our base on Donatu V." Krushoff was not impressed. "Perhaps you and the other lower forms of plant life in the BBA might do us all a favour and clean your collective ears before these meetings. I do not expect the humans to be complacent. But they will not know about the base until after it is constructed. Now, where are those pointy-eared baboons that are supposed to guard this place? I have other meetings to attend." Within months, a huge complex had been constructed on Donatu V. Before it could be finished, a Ferengi small arms dealer stumbled across the construction site. Acting on the Ferengi motto, "A mouth shut is an empty stomach. A mouth shut is an empty bank account. A mouth shut is an opportunity lost. When a Ferengi talks, people listen." the small arms dealer left Donatu V and demanded the Federation border guards take him to the nearest Admiralty Office. After securing in writing a guarantee of payment, the Ferengi told all. The Federation officers were astonished, and the resulting intelligence analysis done for the Admiral came up with the following conclusion: "The Ferengi laid before us the plans of an assault base the size of which defies comprehension. The Klingons have invested what has to be a huge percentage of their military budget. The purpose could only be for another War. It doesn't make sense if they wish to continue with our present relationship. Intelligence reports had indicated that the majority of the Klingon leadership were for continuing detente. Further, most of the Klingon War Ships are approaching the end of their service life. Clearly, if the objective is the status quo, money would logically have been spent on new construction facilities. The only conclusion is that the Klingon leadership have changed their policies, and are preparing for War." - Report sent to Admiral Ramatulla, Chief of Operations for Sherman's Planet and surrounding border areas. R-41 Federation Admiral, Ramatulla In late 1650 (2241), the Klingon Ambassador was summoned to Paris, where President Oprah Washington demanded an explanation. Klingon Ambassador Berak did not attempt to deny anything. In fact, he was quite open about the Emperor's intentions, and what Berak himself thought of them: "...Krushoff is known as Krushoff the Stupid. And for good reason. He believes that he can launch a first strike against the Federation. He refuses to listen to his advisors, to the military, or even the BBA. I have sent countless reports back home, stating why this stupidity should not continue. All I receive back are insulting communiques. It is no secret that our fleet is aging and needs replacement. But this madman has spent our funds on construction projects on Donatu V. I know that as an ambassador I must show loyalty to my Empire. And I am doing so. The Great Klingon Philosopher Kan Ada taught us that conflict without purpose leads to chaos. Krushoff means to force the Federation into War. A conciliatory gesture on the part of the Federation might remove the political support he needs to carry out such a threat..." This statement was remarkable for a number of reasons. First, it clearly indicated that there was widespread opposition to Krushoff within the Empire. Second, that a Klingon Ambassador would actually outline how to nullify his own Emperor's intentions. Finally, the most significant revelation, the first official admission of the existence of the BBA (141). (141) Until this point, the Federation had assumed that Klingon Intelligence agencies were small, haphazard affairs, under the jurisdiction of local commanders. The existence of a network given equal standing with the Military and the Council of Elders, indicated that Federation understanding of Klingon Intelligence agencies needed to be revamped. By Presidential Directive, StarFleet sent out word to Ferengi Agents that any information on the BBA would be handsomely rewarded. Within six months the Federation had amassed enough information to outline the organization and much of the history of the BBA. "Those incapable of trust are often the easiest to fool." Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher and Royal Advisor to Karas the Cruel. The Federation offered Krushoff the solar systems surrounding Donatu V, on the condition that the base be dismantled, and Federation officers be permitted to observe the operation. As an act of good faith, the immediate border area would be demilitarized, and Klingon observers would be permitted to inspect all Federation Installations in the area. The Military, the Councils of Elders and Mothers of Slain Warriors, and the BBA were ecstatic with this proposal. Krushoff suddenly became the most popular Emperor in Klingon history; he quickly lost his popularity by angrily rejecting the Federation offer: "Children! Have you not the sense to see that the Federation is weak, and desperate to buy us off? A strong adversary would have attacked, but they are cowards. The President of the Federation thinks that I, Krushoff, can be satisfied with pretty words and a few planets! The Emperor of the Klingon Empire cannot be bribed. I am no Ferengi. I am a Warrior. I am Krushoff! They will give us all that they offered, plus Sherman's Planet, and anything else I might think of. My base will stand as a monument to my greatness. How rare for the universe to be blessed with genius such as mine! How truly fortunate you miserable pieces of Zirch droppings that I am your leader. Where would you be without me?" Unknown to the Klingons, the Federation had just launched six of its new experimental Sarajevo Class Starships. These were predecessors of the Constitution Class Battlecruisers. The Sarajevo Class were the fastest ships of their time, and capable of engaging three Klingon ships simultaneously (142). (142) - This ability was due to the age of the Klingon Vessels. Their technology had not been improved, and much of their superstructure was weakened because of advanced age, reducing the possible speeds at which the ship could travel. Modern Klingon Vessels, while not yet a match for a Galaxy Class Starship, are a great enough threat that no single Galaxy Class ship would be capable of engaging three Klingon vessels at once. The Federation began a blockade of Donatu V in early 1650 (2241). Catros, leader of Donatu V, begged Krushoff to declare war on the Federation. Krushoff ordered the Klingon Fleet to break the blockade, and deliver the final armaments necessary to finish the base. When the two fleets met, the Federation Commander, Admiral Ramius, demanded that the Klingons turn around. Instead the Klingons opened fire. "Within minutes every Federation vessel has been destroyed! I listened to their confused communications, their screams of pain and terror! I watched their bridges burn in the darkness of space. The skies wrote their eulogies in flame as the broken hulks of Federation ships fell through the atmosphere. Though they failed miserably, I must say how impressed I was by their bravery. Not one life pod was jettisoned. All offers of surrender met with rejection. They have changed since we last met in battle. They have forgotten how to fight, but they die well." - Report to Emperor Krushoff by the Commander of the Klingon Battlefleet. Krushoff roared with laughter and delight on the news of his victory. He joyfully berated his cautious advisors, "They fell before our ships like autumn leaves before the Mountain winds. Their crews cried out in pain as our Birds of Prey picked off their vessels. None survived! There is now nothing between us and Earth itself! The Federation Fleet has been destroyed! We will first occupy Sherman's Planet, and from there, I, Krushoff, will lead our forces to Victory! I Krushoff, will lead the Victory Parade down the Champs d' Elysee! Paris will be mine!" The BBA were the only ones to bring up a point of contention. BBA Director Ness argued the following: "Humans do not fight to the death. It is not their way. Starfleet teaches its officers that if a battle is lost then save yourselves by retreating or surrendering. Fight the battle another day. Why did they not abandon ship? These ships were defeated too easily. The Federation knew that we would try to run their blockade. Was this truly a victory, or merely an illusion of one?" Krushoff replied, "Ness, when it comes to stupidity you are truly untouchable. You wouldn't know a military victory if it walked up and kicked you in the head! The base will be completed later, order the Fleet to take Sherman's Planet, hold nothing in reserve. I am impatient to offend the French." The BBA director's opinion was indeed the correct one. The Federation blockading ships were decoys, carefully constructed shells or old ships with modern shells, with impulse engine power and small matter/anti-matter cores to give the death signature of destroyed warp engines. Everything had been completely automated, and holographic images and pre-recorded communications had been programmed into reinforced computers; that would continue to operate after the loss of the main computers. The deception was based on the Federation Behavioral Sciences Unit's assessment of Krushoff. They believed this plan would work because, as Unit leader Lt. Avram Rabinowitz wrote in his report on Krushoff: "...his ego and basic feelings of low-self esteem drive him to dominate others. Complete victory vindicates his chain of one- dimensional thought, thus propelling him on to the next logical step of his plan. He enjoys abusing his subordinates, and success in an operation that they have advised against will not only inspire his confidence, it will shake theirs. By giving him the victory he desires, we can shape his behavior to our advantage." In late 1651 (2242), the Federation acted on this advice, giving Krushoff his 'victory'. Just as predicted, the Klingon Fleet advanced on Sherman's planet. Believing the Federation Fleet to be destroyed, the Red Alert status had been dropped and long range sensors shut down to conserve energy. War-time battle fleet formation was changed to standard formation, leaving much of the fleet open to attack. As the Klingon ships went into orbit around Sherman's Planet, the Battlecruisers dropped their shields in order to launch troop shuttles. The entire Complement of Bird of Prey had already landed on the planet's surface. It was at this point that the 'non-existent' Federation Fleet arrived. In a lightning strike all 24 Klingon Battlecruisers were destroyed or damaged by the six Sarajevo Class Federation ships. Additional Federation Attack Craft targeted Cloaking devices and communications arrays on Klingon ships. The Birds of Prey that attempted to leave the planet's atmosphere were destroyed by a series of nuclear bursts from bombs dropped by the USS Avalon (1). The Federation Victory was total. (1) Admiral Ramatullah only reluctantly agreed to the use of atomics. There was widespread opposition to their use since the Atomic Horror, which was the interplanetary atomic war caused by the Rebellion of the Martian Colonies. It was Capt. Ron Barter of the USS Avalon who lobbied for the use of atomics. Anti-nuclear feelings were still so strong that several officers aboard the USS Avalon resigned from StarFleet rather than take part in the bombardment. Barter was a hawk, who after the battle, was almost court-martialled by Admiral Ramatullah for insubordination, when Barter loudly voiced his displeasure with the Federation's decision to sign an armistice. R-42 Kindergartner, one of Krushoff's assassins Krushoff did not live to learn of his defeat. While walking through a park in Koonadek, a group of small children from a local kindergarten had been playing ball, when it was thrown in his direction. Krushoff crushed the ball, and spat at the children. The substitute teacher (Krushoff had cut their bonus pay from the BBA) looked the other way, and the entire pack of kindergartners tore Krushoff apart. His Romulusian Guard had been ordered to walk far behind, as Krushoff had told them, "...stay as far downwind of me as you can, you fowl-smelling, good for nothing, pointy-eared parasites." He had called to them for help. But they did not move until the wind changed direction (as ordered) some hours later. "A victor's generosity is an investment in peace." - Quotation from Book 7 of Kalmek's Writings. The Klingon Empire expected that they would be forced to give up much of the Empire. Thus the entire leadership was left speechless by the Federation peace overture: dismantling of the base on Donatu V and the establishment of a demilitarized zone along the frontier. Catros travelled to Koonadek and demanded that the Klingon Empire pursue the War to its bitter end. BBA Director Ness personally dismembered Catros, and fed him to the young residents of the Palace Zirch hatchery. The government on Donatu V collapsed, and the new government asked for entry into the Federation. This was declined, but the Federation did promise to prevent another power from occupying the planet. In 1652 (2243), the Klingons dismantled the base, and a peace treaty was signed on Donatu V by Emperor Breznak and President Washington. With the end of this War, the reign of the old Klingon leadership, with their archaic military hardware, was over. New ships, commanded by a new breed of Klingon Officer, would take to space. Emperor Breznak was a plateless Klingon, and following Horf's tradition, plateless Clans once again, came to dominate the Officer class. Early space encounters between Klingons and Humans nearly always involved Klingons without frontal skull plates. It was at first believed that these Klingons were representative of the entire Klingon race (143). R-43 Klingon Emperor, Breznak (143)- 30 YEARS AT THE HELM; Kirk, James T. In his biography, Kirk discusses how forty years were to pass before he was to meet his first Klingon with a skull plate. Up to this point, all encounters were with the minority group. Only later (shortly after being promoted to Admiral) did he meet the first skull plated Klingon. In early 1676 (2267), relations between the Klingons and Federation degenerated further. The BBA believed that it was time to once again check Federation resolve in matters of territoriality. Their target was the planet Organia, site of vast mineral deposits. The BBA persuaded Emperor Mirtof, that the native inhabitants would pose no threat to the Klingon Military. Not wanting to arouse Federation suspicions, the Klingon military at first sent only a token force to the planet (144). "We will invade the planet?" "A mere token force, sire." "But there will be a surface bombardment?" "No sire, it will not be necessary." "Very good then, an old-fashioned ground-offensive, yes?" "No sire, the Organians don't fight, they will merely surrender." "Say what?" "Surrender, give up, they are pacifists." "Why don't we just kill them?" "That would provoke a War with the Federation." "You're point being..? "They know how to fight." "So you're going to lead a force onto the planet, and take over without killing anyone?" "That is the plan sire." "Get a life! I'm going fishing." - Exchange between Emperor Mirtof and Expeditionary Force Commander T'Taff. (144)- Federation intelligence learned of the BBA plans and dispatched their own "token" force to the planet. The U.S.S. Enterprise, commanded by Captain James T Kirk, was sent to investigate and prevent Klingon Interference. Kirk offered the Organian government Federation assistance, which was politely declined, 30 YEARS AT THE HELM; Kirk, James T When both sides discovered the other's presence, diplomacy was abandoned, and all out war threatened. At this stage the Organians dropped their Humanoid disguises and reverted back to their non- corporeal forms. Citing the futilities of warfare, the Organians used still unexplained forces to prevent both fleets from engaging. Organia was destroyed 20 years later when it's sun went supernova. With their plans foiled at Organia, the BBA set their sights on reclaiming Sherman's planet, site of the Battle of Donatu V, 25 years before. As the Klingon military was still inferior to the Federation in terms of technology, the BBA adopted a different strategy. In 1676 (2267), intelligence reports indicated that Federation scientists had developed a strain of wheat which would thrive on Sherman's planet. Called Quadrotriticale, the new hybrid was very resistant to parasites, and temperature fluctuations, both in abundance on the planet. The BBA believed that by introducing the new plant, the Federation would gain the upperhand in securing the planet for themselves. Something had to be done (146). (146)-In response to such a predicament, the BBA had set up a Special Branch responsible for "alternate forms of warfare." The Special Branch was subdivided into divisions, one of which was large scale (planetary level) poisoning. After being consulted by the military, scientists set out to find a means of destroying the wheat hybrid. Using archival research data (left over from the Andalusian occupation), the BBA scientists developed a virus that interfered with the wheat's ability to convert light energy to chemical energy. The end result was death of the plant. The virus could easily be delivered using pressurized containers. The virus gas mixture was given the name Mayocide. To head this mission, the BBA chose Koloth, a Captain in the Klingon Military, and frequent operative for the BBA. Koloth suggested that by destroying the grain, the Federation would be forced to admit defeat in running the planet. The colonists would then turn to a more "reliable" benefactor; the Klingon government. The plan was for Klingon cargo ships to release the Mayocide in the planet's orbit. Total destruction of the wheat crop would take three to four weeks. The operation failed when wheat silos on Federation Deep Space Station K-7, were found to be poisoned (147). (147)- In actuality it was not poisoned wheat but dead tribbles that were discovered. Private trader, Cyrano Jones, introduced the small, brown, furry creatures into Federation space in an attempt to provide humans with the perfect pet. Unfortunately the beasties tended to spend their lives eating and reproducing. One Tribble quickly became two tribbles, and two became four, and so on. This biological characteristic offset their soothing effect on humans. Tribbles have the ability to detect and respond to sensitive emotions in Humans. Klingons rarely possess such emotions, consequently Tribbles and Klingons do not see eye to eye. In fact both species possess an instinctively intense dislike for each other, which is often violent. When the Klingons poisoned the wheat, the feeding Tribbles were also killed. Discovery of which led to the uncovering of the Klingon plot; Imperial Klingon Archives - File# 2368-64. With his conspiracy exposed, Koloth was hustled back to Qo'noS for "questioning". The BBA were puzzled as to how a 100 kg Klingon warrior could be thwarted by a 950 gram creature. "But sir, these infernal little fuzzballs have no honour. They do not respect the Klingon values of courage and ruthlessness. They are weak and complacent. They have no redeeming qualities. Let us use them for fattening the Zirch prior to Kan Ada day... Besides, they make me itch." -Koloth explaining the only use for the Tribble. In response to his suggestion, a research station was set up in an attempt to learn more about the "infernal little fuzzball." As punishment for his failure, Koloth was put in charge of cleaning the animals' cages. He was later found dead (from a severe rash) in one of the nursery cages. Apparently he "accidently" stepped on one of the younger Tribbles. In response, 23 adult Tribbles killed him. Koloth was given full military honours at his funeral, and his epitaph read "Died Gloriously in battle while single-handedly fighting 23 worthy foes." It turned out that Zirch would rather starve to death than eat tribbles. Cyrano Jones, after several more years of smuggling, theft, and a life of general lawless hedonism and debauchery, went on to a successful career in politics. He also established an evangelical ministry, with a tax-refund donation system, which was only exposed after his death (his body was never found). The ultimate tribute came from his Ferengi Business partner, "He robbed me blind for years, and I never knew! I'll miss him dearly. He reminded me so much of my own father." Not willing to be continuously impeded by the Federation at every turn, the BBA drew up plans for a mission to the world of Neural. The M-class planet was inhabited by primitive tribes all coexisting in relative peace. Such a situation is alien to Klingon philosophy. "If there are different tribes, then there must be variations. Such variations are the seeds for conflict. It is on this point that the BBA must act. If we supply one side with advanced technology, then this tribe should take the initiative and attack its neighbours. Escalation will mean big profits for Klingon military contractors. Just think, a whole planet dependent on the Klingon Empire for its very survival." -Klingon BBA operative Krell, outlining the Benefits of Klingon intervention philosophy. After proceeding to Neural, Krell set about arming the tribe known as "The Towns people". As predicted (and hoped), the Towns people began to exploit their new advantage. Raiding parties were organized, and the Towns people inflicted great suffering on the Hill people. Before long however, the situation became one of stalemate. The Hill people were found to have "caught" up to the Town people in weapons technology. Further investigation revealed that the weapons were Federation in origin (148). (148)- Having surveyed the planet 15 years before, Captain James T. Kirk, was very familiar with the planet's social development. Realizing that someone was interfering with its natural progression, he launched an investigation. Raiding a town storage depot, Kirk discovered the Klingon involvement. Faced with the dilemma of disobeying the Federation Prime Directive (non-interference by Federation personnel), or allowing one tribe to eliminate the other, Kirk chose the former. He later explained that the interference was already taking place. The only way to maintain the status quo was to match the Klingon weapons being given to the Towns people; 30 YEARS AT THE HELM, Kirk, James T Autobiography. Once again the BBA was met by the waiting Federation. Realizing that the Federation (and more importantly, Captain Kirk) were prepared to escalate the situation accordingly, the Klingon Military recommended to the Emperor that all involvement in Neural's affairs be terminated. Going against his warrior passions, Emperor Mirtof ordered all Military and BBA operatives off Neural (149). (149)- Mirtof would have preferred total escalation, but on the advice of his Military Commanders, decided against such action. Further, diplomats had presented him with Federation and Romulan overtures for an experiment in peaceful coexistence. Called the Planet of Galactic Peace, Nimbus 111 would be a failure, but the colony would endure for 20 years. The Planet, and associated colony would be jointly administered by the three governments. The hope was that such cooperation would lead to future collaboration between the three great powers. Though a failure, the temporary peace did foreshadow events that would transpire in the near future; The Imperial Klingon Archives- File# 685-21; THE ROMULAN FILES, by the authors; FEDERATION DEBRIEFING, FILE #5872-42. FAIR WEATHERED FRIENDS "Aye, laddies, the engines were difficult! Always breaking down. Never a moments peace. I remember once I had finished off a bottle of prime Scotch, when Mr. Spock asked me to help him with a problem in the service tunnel, leading off engine one. I'd noticed a few funny looks as I walked down the corridors, but I assumed it was my kilt. I did see a few things myself, but I've hallucinated before. Anyway, I reached the engine room and Mr. Spock gave me that arched-eye brow 'humans are such children' look. Then he said, "Mr. Scott, do Scotsmen normally wear anything under their kilts?" I replied, proudly, "Only what God has given them." To which Mr. Spock said, "Then God has not given you much Mr. Scott. I do believe you have forgotten to put your kilt on." I was so drunk that I didn't know I was half-naked. It was a good bottle of Scotch though. Capt. Kirk wasn't impressed. He took all my booze and made me see Dr. McCoy." - Former Engineer Scott (retired), reminiscing about one of his more embarrassing moments on the old Starship Enterprise (NCC- 1701). For the Klingon government, Nimbus 111 did have one positive outcome. Still recovering from defeat at the hands of the Federation, and a prolonged civil war, the Romulan Empire was eager to start modernizing its battlefleet. The relations established during Nimbus 111 negotiations, enabled the Klingons and Romulans to peacefully discuss a transfer of advanced Klingon warships to the Romulan Battlefleet. While possessing numerous small warships, the Romulan space fleet was not strong enough to withstand a determined attack by outside powers. Much promise had been placed in their latest design, the cloaking equipped, Bird Of Prey. Its small size, slow speed, and most importantly, inferior trained crew, meant, however, that it was no match for the latest Federation Battlecruisers (150). R-44 Romulan Bird of Prey (150)- In 1675 (2266), the prototype was sent on a mission to test its potential in battle. Equipped with the latest in cloaking and weapons technology, the ships assignment was to destroy selected Federation outposts along the Neutral Zone. The Romulans assumed that a Federation starship would respond to investigate, thus setting up the desired confrontation. The Outposts (2-4) were destroyed with relative ease by the new plasma cannon (given the name Disrupters), and as planned, the Federation Starship Enterprise responded. Reminiscent of Destroyer-Submarine engagements of Earth's 20th century World Wars, the two warships tracked, attacked, and retreated from one another, over the next couple of days. The Enterprise finally emerged the victor because of superior tactics employed by Captain Kirk; A COMPARISON OF MILITARY TECHNOLOGY ACROSS THE BETA QUADRANT, A Historical Perspective; Chapter 6, The Leading Edge-Cloaking devices and their derivatives. By the authors. "There is one main military advantage to being cloaked. One may stay alive." - General Rontek, Romulan Commander. The less than ideal performance of the new prototype in combat, meant that mass production would be put on hold until improvements could be made. This delay meant that the Romulan fleet was in need of modern First line Battlecruisers. The renewed peace talks with the Klingons meant that advanced warship technology was available. One of the conditions of the new alliance was that the Klingon Military would loan the Romulan Navy, 24 new, Heavy Battlecruisers. The agreement also stipulated that the ships could be reclaimed at a moments notice if the Klingon Navy became involved in war (151). R-55 Klingon, K'Bert Class Battlecruiser (151)- The ships were of the K'Bert class. Weighing 68,000 tons when fully loaded, each ship carried a crew of 225. With a maximum speed of Warp 9, the ships were comparable to the Federation's Constitution class starships. Out fitted with the latest in cloaking technology, the ships gave the Romulan Navy the means to back diplomatic threats up with military might: A COMPARISON OF MILITARY TECHNOLOGY ACROSS THE BETA QUADRANT, A Historical Perspective; Chapter 2: The Battlecruisers. The alliance was given its first true test in 1677 (2268). The Romulan designed cloaking technology had intrigued Federation scientists since its existence was first reported two years before. New intelligence reports indicated that the Klingons had improved on the design. If true, the balance of power would shift in favour of the Klingon Empire. To combat the threat, the Federation devised a plan to steal the design. Such an undertaking carried a tremendous risk, as the mission would involve slipping aboard a warship unnoticed and stealing the device. Capture would mean death, and possibly interstellar war. Aware that the Romulans were using Klingon designed ships, the Federation decided that the mission might be more successful if the raid was made on the Romulan, and not the Klingon Navy. The Federation chose two of its most experienced officers for the operation, Captain James T. Kirk, and his First Officer, Spock. "Of course I remember. One does not face death in the face and forget about it, even if it was 100 years ago. The mission was a logical one. Fascinating really. You must understand that not even the crew were aware of the plan. Both Jim and I were briefed on the operation well in advance. As I recall we were the first to suggest making the attempt, after our encounter two years before. The Federation could not afford to sit by and let the Klingons take the technological lead. We were not as concerned about the Romulans. In retrospect we should have, but at the time we felt their more refined manner would prevent them from initiating war with the Federation. The Klingons on the other hand had a history of conquering less advanced civilizations. We had no intentions of letting this happen to the Federation. So the plan was drawn up. Without warning, Captain Kirk ordered the Enterprise into the Neutral Zone. The ship was immediately surrounded by three K'Bert class Battlecruisers. After claiming that the ship's violation was due to Captain Kirk's mental instability, my role was to defect to the Romulan Empire, delivering the Federation Flagship (Enterprise) in the process. During the charade, Jim called me a traitor and I had to kill him with the Vulcan death grip. A most convincing performance as I recall. With the deed accomplished, the Captain's body was returned to the Enterprise. Some plastic surgery by the good Doctor (McCoy), and phase two of the operation was to begin." (At this point in the interview, Spock stared out into space, no doubt recalling the friendships of 100 years before). He continued "Did you know that irrational man actually reached Flag rank? Really, I didn't expect that with all his great bursts of illogic, he'd become Admiral Leonard McCoy. Anyway, as I was saying, the actual theft had to be carried out. Not an easy task mind you, as Romulans are very protective of their cloaking devices. Jim, improved appearance and all (a reference to the pointy ears), secretly beamed aboard and took the mechanism right from under their noses. As this event was transpiring in the engine room, I was entertaining the Romulan commander in her quarters. That's right "her" quarters. For all our logic, we Vulcans do have an immense romantic attractiveness to females of most Humanoid species. Quite logical. For security reasons I will not describe all that transpired in that compartment. As a Federation ambassador I do have a reputation to uphold. When the Commander asked what was I, to carry out such an act, I told her, First Officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise. She must have detected the transporter activation, for when I materialized on the Enterprise, she was with me. Anyway, that's how we stole the cloaking device. As it turned out it wasn't really necessary, as the Federation later signed a treaty promising never to develop or use cloaking technology (1). Do you gentlemen want to hear something really interesting? The Romulan Commander and I still keep in contact. That's right. She's retired from the Military, and living on Remus, having assumed a new identity and working for the underground. We still get together occasionally, discreetly of course. She still finds me very fascinating. Did I mention that we have a son?" -Authors' startling interview with Ambassador Spock aboard Deep Space Station Nine. Spock was giving details of the "affairs" of 100 years before. (1) The pledge to never employ the use of a cloaking device on a Federation StarShip was broken 2 years ago. During a top secret salvage operation in the Neutral Zone, a lost Federation ship (USS Pegasus) was located. A Romulan Vessel managed to seal the Enterprise inside the tunnel it had entered to carry out the salvage. Aboard the Pegasus was an experimental Solid Phase Cloaking Device (SPCD). This was integrated into the Enterprise's propulsion system by Chief Engineer LaForge. The SPCD is able to create a warp bubble of one uniform wavelength, that only exists in hyperspace. Thus the ship when cloaked is able to pass through solids. After the Enterprise passed through the mantle of the asteroid, the ship decloaked in front of the Romulan Vessel, and the Enterprise left the area. The SPCD project was illegal, and had been directed by a junior officer (Capt. Pressman) who had found favor with one of the Admirals on the StarFleet security council. Later promoted to Admiral, Pressman was court-martialled for his role in the affair. The complete transcript (except for certain technical information, which remains classified) is available from StarFleet Academy. Part of the testimonies of Admiral John Crotty and Capt. Jean-Luc Picard are presented here. Admiral Crotty gave perhaps the most eloquent arguement for the defense: "...how many times must I repeat myself, it is wrong to legislate scientific research! Yes, the Federation ordered that cloaking devices shall not be used or developed. But we must look at what can be gained with such devices. The SPCD can be used to pass through the very cores of planets! Its usefulness in geoscience alone justifies its existence...Perhaps we need to deal with the real issue here, the difference between being politically correct and scientifically correct. When our distant ancestors first developed fire, they did it to warm their caves and cook their food. What would have happened if after Caesar burned Alexander's Library, that fire was banned? At the time it would have been politically correct. And now instead of exploring the universe we would be back in the caves, eating raw flesh and watching our infants die of the cold...Galileo said that the Earth revolved around the sun, which was scientifically correct, but it was not politically correct to say it, and he was forced by a court to recant, and placed under house arrest for life. Now another man's career, his freedom, are on trial because he pursued the truth of science. My, how far we have come since Galileo's time! Einsein was correct, time is circular... ...Weakness invites aggression. We have only to look at how our lack of research made us vulnerable. When the Borg attacked the Romulans, how did they respond? They studied their enemy, and then they used the logical response. Knowing that the Borg assimilate their enemies, they cloaked photon torpedos, and placed them inside their ships and in their cities. Once the Borg would take part of a ship or building inside their own shields, the torpedo would be detonated. The Romulans lost four birds of Prey. We lost two-thirds of our Fleet! The Romulans lost a few outposts, we condemned over 8 million Federation Citizens to a living death with the Borg! Admiral Pressman developed this device to protect our people. This man is a hero. He deserves better than this mockery of a trial... Capt. Picard countered with this effective testimony: "...must agree with much of what Admiral Crotty has said. But the merits of the SPCD are not the issue here, nor the philosophical musings of what constitutes freedom of expression in science. Admiral Crotty himself said that if the Federation said do not develop a cloaking device, then so be it! And that is the real issue here. As Federation officers, we are easily deluded into feeling superior because of the great power we control on almost a daily basis. The architects of the Federation recognized that absolute power corrupts absolutely. So they put in an effective counter-balance. And that is why every Federation officer swears to uphold the Prime Directive. The Prime Directive states that no Federation Officer will intervene in the political affairs of any planet, including our own! The Prime Directive ensures civilian control over the military. It is the Prime Directive which is the central philosophy to every Federation Officer's existence! We are sworn to obey. Admiral Pressman took it upon himself to defy the Federation and violate the Prime Directive. As a result we may soon be at war with the Romulans. Any war with the Romulans will be costly. To think millions may die because of one man's arrogance...I have spent my career serving the Federation, and the Prime Directive. I have lost many friends over the years who died to preserve the Prime Directive. Admiral Pressman's crew died fighting him to uphold the Prime Directive! Admiral Pressman violated the Prime Directive, causing the loss of his crew, the destruction of his ship, the endangerment of the Enterprise, and the end of a treaty that had maintained detente with the Romulans for over 100 years...He violated the Prime Directive. He betrayed the Federation. He has no right to wear that uniform..." Pressman was found guilty of treason, stripped of all rank, and committed to a Military Prison to serve 20 years at hard labor. Pressman escaped, taking with him technical information on SPCD research. He defected to the Romulans, and identified several top Federation operatives. They were burned alive in a public execution on Romulus. The Federation has ordered that Pressman's activities must be stopped, and lethal force is authorized. With the theft of the cloaking device, relations between the Romulan and Klingon Empires became strained. Hundreds of years ago, the result would have been war. But times had changed. With the Federation adding new worlds to its coalition monthly, Both the Romulans and Klingons felt threatened. The concept of "voluntarily" joining an organization was not understood by the Klingons. The only legitimate manner to "join" was by submission. This is the Klingon way. It was believed that the Federation was plotting to overthrow the Klingon Empire. Reluctantly they believed that only by remaining allied with the Romulans could the security of the Empire be maintained (152). (152)-The BBA and Klingon militaries had conflicting emotions about the alliance. Permitting Federation Officers to board and view the interior of the latest Klingon Battlecruiser design, was taken as an insult by both the BBA and Military. In one act the Romulans had committed the greatest security breach in Klingon history. Never had an enemy been aboard a Klingon Warship, at least not while still alive. Now the Romulans may have set Klingon technology back decades. The Federation officers were among the most experienced in all of Starfleet (The BBA had detailed files on both Kirk and Spock). No doubt they would have passed all their observations on to Federation scientists. Disciplinary action should have been carried out. Yet the BBA mistakenly believed that the Klingon-Romulan alliance, was all that stood between them, and forced assimilation by the Federation. Grudgingly they advised the Emperor to continue relations with the Romulans. VIEW FROM THE INSIDE "...the colour scheme was uniform, and lacked depth. The corridors were bright and well-lit, offering no place for ambush or even love-making. And the smell! There was none! As if nothing had ever lived!...the food was the final straw. Everything was dead, and well-cooked. One of my crew uttered the words that summarized this hellish place, 'Commander, their ship is clean!' I remembered a moment in my childhood, when my mother had been angry at me for leaving my room neat and tidy. I was a teenager, it was a rebellious phase..." - Klingon Commander Kang, describing the interior of the Federation Starship, Enterprise. The Klingons received their first view of a Starship's interior a few months after the theft of the Romulan cloaking device. Commander Kang of the Klingon Navy was on routine patrol when he received a distress call from planet Beta XIIA. Responding to the planet, Kang was met by the U.S.S. Enterprise. Believing that the Enterprise was responsible for an attack on his ship, Kang beamed down to the planet and took the Enterprise's landing party hostage. Deceptive use of the transporter by the Enterprise's crew, resulted in Kang's landing party being captured. To further add fuel to the fire, the Klingon warship was in such deplorable condition, the Enterprise was forced to destroy it. Kang was convinced that the Captain, James Kirk, was responsible for the attack on his ship, and the death of most of his crew. Only later did he realize what had happened. "First the phasers turned to swords, and both crews began to slash at one another. Yet they could not die. Bodies that had been carved almost beyond recognition, healed within the hour, and the combat was renewed. I was convinced it had to be a trick. Some sort of matter-converting device. Then the Humans lost control of the ship. Still I was unconvinced. Seizing the initiative, we took engineering. Then my beloved mate, Mara, was captured by Kirk. She pleaded with me to listen to Kirk. He said that some sort of alien intelligence was altering our minds and forcing us to fight. He went on to say that the Being seemed to thrive on negative emotions. It grew stronger with the fighting. To defeat the Alien we must drop our swords, band together, and become friends. Upon hearing this, I assumed that Kirk had gotten into some Romulan Ale. Klingons and humans, friends, never! Drop our swords, never! A Klingon is born with a sword in hand, ready for combat. The last time we dropped our swords and guard, our brothers, the Andalusians, vanquished us for 700 years. We would not make the same mistake again, especially on a Federation Starship. I told Kirk that he would have to come up with something more convincing. I turned off the intercom. Within a short period of time, Kirk had beamed himself into engineering. I later learned that this was the first time that intraship beaming had been accomplished. Not wanting to die a coward, I prepared to take Kirk with me. For a human, Kirk fought well. In fact, had it not been for the appearance of the alien, he might have beaten me. To think my honour was saved by a ball of light. I quickly realized that Kirk was telling the truth. The entity seemed to grow with our anger. Only by repressing our hatred, did the being's strength subside. The next five minutes were the most difficult of my life. The Academy was a vacation compared to that ordeal! To drive the being from the ship we had to lay down our swords and think pure thoughts. All feelings of anger, violence, malice, and hatred, had to be purged from our minds. I still have nightmares about those few moments. Many of my crew are still undergoing therapy. The essence of our whole warrior being was tested to the limit. I will never forget. Never!" -Commander Kang, recounting his ordeal on the Enterprise. Through out the remainder of his life, Kang would have flashbacks about the episode. He would be strolling through the park when without warning he would start sweating. Then the feelings of well being and empathy would overcome him. For a few brief moments he would be back in the Enterprise's engineroom, sharing emotions of friendship. His only source of therapy was fishing, which he practised till the day he died (It was to be the manner of his death- see FISHING). After being returned to Qo'noS, Kang and his crew spent many weeks recovering from their ordeal. A few never did. Rather than live with the memories of those highly emotional five minutes, four of the crew committed suicide. As the senior officer, Kang spent many weeks being interrogated by the BBA. Kang was the first Klingon officer to board a Federation Starship. Every detail that Kang could recall was analyzed for military importance. To further help Kang's powers of recall, hypnotism was undertaken (153). (153)- Klingon hypnotism was slightly different than the Human version. While both involved moving an object in front of the patients eyes, the Klingon version utilized a large ceremonial sword. The "Therapist" would wave the sword back and forth in front of the patient, asking repeatedly if they recalled anything new. The success rate was always close to 100%, as patients invariably remembered forgotten details. Klingons boast that their version of hypnotism is much more effective than the Federation's version; See : BBA COGNITIVE STRATEGIES, by Dr. Dave Korotkov. THE V'GER INCIDENT "Your highness, we have just received disturbing reports that three of our Battlecruisers have been destroyed while investigating a strange phenomenon." "Surly this is the work of the Federation. They must have a new weapon. we must..." "Your highness, the intelligence reports indicate that the Federation has lost their Epsilon station as well." "The Romulans?" "No sir, it appears the destruction was the result of an invading power. Our Battlecruisers never had a chance." "Where is the invader heading?" "At its present course and speed, it will reach Federation space in six days." "Good, then it becomes a Federation problem, not ours. Let's go fishing!" -1680 (2271) exchange between Emperor Mortif, and BBA Director Dirtif. In 1680 (2271) three Klingon Battlecruisers were destroyed by an unidentified alien entity. Despite the Emperor's lack of concern, the BBA nevertheless took the threat seriously. Agents of the Alien Space Technology Division (created under Emperor Horf), were sent to Nimbus III, where their assistance was offered to the Federation. Their mission was two fold; research and espionage. The BBA despite its reputation, had a legitimate concern about the Alien's threat. Any enemy that could vanquish three of the Empire's most modern Battlecruisers, was one to be respected. The fact that it was heading towards the Federation did not mean it could not change direction. If it did, the Empire had to be ready. By sending a research team, the BBA hoped to learn more about their potential foe. The second reason for sending the agents was typical BBA. In such a time of crisis, no doubt the Federation's guard would be down. At such a moment, valuable military intelligence might be obtained. BBA agents working with the Federation would therefore be in a position to record such information. Upon arriving at Nimbus III, BBA agents were astonished to find an assembly of nations. It seemed all the major powers, Romulan, Federation, Cardassian, Ferengi, and Klingon, had sent representatives. The invaders threat was given the highest priority. Past disputes were forgotten as strategies were drawn up to confront the enemy. Intelligence reports coming in indicated the invaders name was V'Ger (154). (154)-V'Ger had originally been designed by NASA, and named Voyager 6. During its mission, Voyager entered a Black Hole and was thrown light years away. It entered an area of space inhabited by "living" machines. The machines scanned Voyager, and ascertained that improvements could be made to its equipment. The name change was the result of the "OYA" being deleted from Voyager's records. The rebuilt probe was miles across, and became self-aware. It returned to Earth looking for its creator. Now as a "living" machine, it assumed that its creator was also of the same design. Only later did it realize that Biological units might also be machines; Federation Archives, File# 345-85. Recognizing that time was of the essence, Starfleet dispatched its most honoured Starship, the U.S.S Enterprise. The ship's present commander, Will Decker, was judged too inexperienced for the mission. He was appointed Commander, and the ship's former Captain, James T Kirk, was given command. Encountering the Enterprise, V'Ger decided to capture and duplicate one of the biological units. Realizing that these primitive units were in fact its creators, V'Ger decided to fuse with one of the biological units. Only in this way could V'Ger fully understand the nature of the Creator. Once the fusion had taken place the new entity disappeared. From the BBA's point of view, the agents' mission was a failure. The threat of V'Ger had been eliminated, but it was Starfleet military intelligence that was really desired. The one piece of positive news, was that the BBA was made aware of the return to duty of James Kirk. Long a foe of Klingon advancement policies, Kirk's semiretirement was greeted with pleasure by the BBA and Klingon Military. Now he was back, and resources would have to be devoted to keeping track of his movements (155). (155)- One of the favourite pastimes of Emperor Mortif was reading BBA files on Foreign military Officers. Mortif's hobby became an obsession, and he would devote as much time to reviewing BBA intelligence files, as he would to daily running of the Klingon Government. Mortif was seriously wounded in a "fishing accident" in late 1680 (2271), and would step down as Klingon Emperor in 1681 (2272). He devoted the remaining five years of his life to compiling a manuscript based on his hobby. For security reasons the manuscript could not be published for 100 years. The authors of The Klingon Chronicles have obtained permission from the Klingon Government to publish Mortif's book. Titled: GREAT MILITARY LEADERS OF THE GALAXY, it is tentatively set for release in 2371. PROJECT GENESIS "Hardwork, honesty, and a strong moral code will get you ahead in life. Obey the law, contribute to your community, and be faithful to those you love." - Cyrano Jones (Tribble Importer), giving his inaugural speech after being elected to the Federation Senate. He was forced to resign after he was caught accepting bribes, telling lies, running an escort service, embezzling public funds, and cheating on his wife. He pled not guilty, was acquitted and was re-elected by acclamation. He was made head of the Finance Committee. When he retired from politics, it was on the condition that none of his departments be audited until 50 years after his death, or 100 years if a body was not found. In 1694, the BBA received alarming intelligence reports from the heart of the Federation. A Bedorian trader who was on the BBA's payroll, learned of the existence of a science project that could have significant military potential. In an attempt to stay one step ahead of the Federation, the BBA dispatched one of the Navy's top commanders to investigate (156). (156)- Commander Kruge was ideal for the assignment. He had distinguished himself in covert operations many times, behind Romulan and Cardassian lines. Dealings with the Quadrant's low-life had provided Kruge with various contacts, many of whom had access to classified Federation information. The Klingon Admiralty and BBA, admired Kruge for his well-trained crew. Such discipline was maintained by a constant weeding out of crew members who made mistakes. Once an order was given, it was expected to be followed to the letter. Any deviation would see the guilty party sent to a warrior's death. "Sure, I kill off the odd crew. Hey! Who hasn't? You can't run a ship with lax discipline. Cold coffee or a bad repair, its all the same to me. On the plus side, my surviving crew members have told me that I was a great improvement over their last Captains. Really! It's true, you can ask both of them." - Commander Kruge, discussing how to run a ship. "My happiest day was when that Zirch dropping died. I despised him. We all despised him. He was beyond vicious, the things he did. He killed my best friend for serving cold coffee, and then Kruge went and ate Snookums, my hamster! Kruge was mean." - Maltz, Klingon prisoner and only surviving member of Kruge's last mission. Maltz helped write the first Klingon/English textbook, and later opened an exotic pet store on Earth. He was later diagnosed as suffering from a Fertizone deficiency, which caused him to become progressively gentle. He could not be treated, and wrote several successful children's books. After establishing the location of the test planet, the BBA gave Kruge one of their latest ships (Bird of Prey), and ordered him to steal as much information concerning Genesis as possible (157). In addition he was to obtain information about the Project's most involved Federation Admiral, James T Kirk (158). "I've never trusted Klingons, and I never will." - Capt. James T. Kirk, as quoted in part of the transcript from his trial on Qo'noS. "It was destined to fail. When Jim and I first started living together things were great. But then it became, I'm responsible for over 400 lives on this ship, and I don't have time to do the dishes; or I'd be thinking about our relationship, and he'd be thinking about some battle with the Klingons. And if his buddies McCoy and Spock beamed down to a planet, well! You know he had to go too! And don't get me started about that useless Engineer! Always getting shot at, beaten up, and I could have lived with all that, but then Jim's fooling around with every Green Animal Woman he could find. I mean, I was getting jealous every time I saw a salad bar! I knew then it was time to walk, and I took our son David with me." - Dr. Carol Marcus, explaining why her relationship with Capt. Kirk fell apart. "I've never trusted Carol Marcus, and I never will." - Capt. James T. Kirk, as quoted in part of the transcript from his separation agreement. (157)-Project Genesis was a Federation project designed to rapidly terraform barren planets. It also had the potential to wipe out all the previously resident life forms. What normally took billions of years, could now be achieved in mere days. The Project was headed by Dr.s Carol and David Marcus. Before full tests could be carried out, the device was stolen by a geneticly engineered human from Earth's past. Noonian Singh Khan was the result of late 20th century genetic engineering. After wreaking much havoc on the civilian population, Khan and a few followers were set adrift in space aboard the cryogenic sleeping ship, Botany Bay. Discovered 180 years later by Captain James T Kirk, an unsuccessful attempt to take over the Starship Enterprise, resulted in Khan's banishment to an isolated planet, Ceta Alpha 5. Shortly after being placed on the planet, its adjacent neighbour, Ceti Alpha 6, exploded, changing the orbit of Ceti Alpha 5. The changed orbit, reduced the planet to a Barren wasteland. Khan spent the next 15 years plotting his revenge on the man he felt responsible for his predicament, Admiral James T Kirk. A failed attack on the Enterprise, and the suicidal activation of the Genesis Device, resulted in the creation of the Genesis planet; FEDERATION DEBRIEFING, FILE # 342-58 (158)-James T Kirk, considered a hawk by the Bureau. The Bureau maintains files on all active officers in the forces of nations judged to be a threat to the Klingon Empire. Kirk finished his Military career with the rank of Captain. Deemed a maverik, he distinguished himself at Starfleet Academy by reprogramming a no-win computer test (The Koyashi Maru Test - Designed to demonstrate how an officer expresses ethical values while under extreme pressure). Much of his career involved conflicts with Klingon vessels. At one time his file was required reading for all active Klingon officers. Having reached the rank of admiral, he was demoted to Captain for insubordinate behavior and misappropriation of a starship. There was also some discussion about his behavior with a group of Green Animal Women in the hotel lobby at a notorious StarFleet Conference. An official inquiry into the 'St.John's Incident' led by Senator Harry Mudd covered up the affair. "Remember, just the Port Engine." - Kruge, reminding his new Weapons officer not to destroy the entire enemy ship. The unfortunate (previous) Weapons officer had been executed for just such a mistake. Kruge was mean. All actions were to be kept clandestine, as Klingon and Federation diplomats were engaged in open negotiations about jurisdiction over the newly formed planet. Arriving at the planet, Kruge first destroyed the research ship Grissom. Detecting life forms on the planet below, Kruge beamed down and confronted Federation officer Saavik, Dr David Marcus, and a Vulcan child. Kruge's interrogation was interrupted by the arrival of the Federation Starship Enterprise. Kruge's First officer cloaked the ship and beamed the landing party aboard (159). (159)- The new Bird of Prey commanded by Kruge was the first ship capable of operating its transporter without having first to decloak. (It still had to decloak to activate weapons, however). This new technology was not developed by the Klingon military. BBA agents had stolen the plans from Romulan military engineers. The BBA (and Klingon Military), routinely steal advanced technology from other nations; See: A COMPARISON OF MILITARY TECHNOLOGY ACROSS THE BETA QUADRANT, Chapter 6, The Leading Edge-Cloaking devices and their derivatives. By Embleton and Thorne. "Why invest huge amounts of resources, and spend years developing something, when for a few lives we can pilfer it from someone else. Once we have the original design, we can devote our time and resources to improving on it." -BBA Military scientist outlining the Klingon philosophy on "developing" new technology. Once aboard, Kruge immediately attempted to launch an attack on the Enterprise. Before his ship was able to decloak and fire, the Enterprise's crew had determined Kruge's position (160). (160)- The Enterprise had been stolen by Admiral James T Kirk. Federation Captain (currently Ambassador) Spock had died while trying to restart the Warp engines just prior to Khan's detonation of the Genesis device. Before dying of radiation exposure, Spock transferred his spiritual consciousness to Dr Leonard McCoy (currently Admiral). Spock's body which had been ejected into space with full honours, found its way to the Genesis planet. Under the Genesis effect, his body became rejuvenated. After being refused permission to transport Dr McCoy to Vulcan, Admiral Kirk and a few loyal friends stole the Enterprise. Approaching the planet, they spotted an energy anomaly. Guessing that the distortion was a cloaked ship, they fired just as Kruge's ship decloaked. Before Kruge had a chance to fire, the Enterprise had scored numerous hits. Returning fire , Kruge knocked out the Enterprise's shields and weapons (161). (161)-Klingon Birds of Prey are not designed to combat Federation Battlecruisers. Under normal circumstances, a Constitution class starship would make short work of a Bird of Prey. These were not however, normal circumstances. Chief engineer, Montgomery Scott (known in Federation circles as 'Scotty') had only managed to rig the Enterprise for temporary remote operations. The brief engagement quickly knocked out the ship's offensive and defensive capabilities. FEDERATION DEBRIEFING FILE # 342-59. When the Enterprise declined to return fire (Kruge admitted that he was outgunned 10 to 1), Kruge suspected that the starship was more seriously damaged than Admiral Kirk would admit. Refusing Kirk's orders to surrender, Kruge responded that he would kill the three hostages on the planet below. To press his point, he had the Klingon landing party kill Dr. Marcus. Enraged at the death of his son (the Klingons were not aware of the hostage's identity. Had they known, no doubt the BBA would have been very interested in the son of a Federation Admiral, especially James Kirk), Kirk set the Auto-destruct and left the ship just as the Klingon boarding party arrived. The ship exploded taking with it all of Kruge's boarding crew. Enraged at this act, Kruge beamed down to the planet to confront Kirk. In the ensuing fight, Kruge was killed and the Enterprise Crew Commandeered the Bird of Prey and headed for Vulcan. "What do you mean, we have lost one of our warships?" "It appears sir that five Federation fugitives took the ship away from commander Kruge and his crew." "Klingon warriors do not lose ships. They do not surrender to the enemy. An example must be made. Have Kruge brought before me. He shall die in the most horrible of manners. I shall enjoy watching him beg for mercy like the coward he obviously is." "But sir, Kruge and his crew are already dead. They were killed in the operation." "Well in that case get me the names and addresses of all their relatives and friends. Someone must pay." -Exchange between Emperor Moraff, and BBA director Dirtif. Three generations of the "Kruge" clan were killed before the BBA discovered that they had the wrong "Kruge" clan. THE T'Ong The Genesis Incident of 1694 (2285) almost led to full scale war between the Federation and the Klingon Empire. Cooler heads prevailed and a diplomatic solution was found. Over the next eight years, relations between the Federation and the Klingon Empire gradually improved. The Klingon Empire also realized at this time that new worlds would have to be explored and conquered if the Empire was to sustain its present size. In 1699 (2290), the BBA had developed a strategy to address this problem. "The Klingon Race is a conquering people. The day will come when our survival will depend on the resources of new worlds. Now is the time to act. I have made arrangements with the Emperor to obtain a specially outfitted warship. We shall select our best warriors and send them on a voyage of conquest. It will be a long journey, so they will have to be cryogenicly frozen. They will awaken to greatness." -Emperor Moraff, addressing the Klingon High Council in 1699 (2290). He was outlining the trip of the T'Ong. The T'Ong was commanded by Captain K'Temok. Its mission was two fold; exploration and conquest. The Klingon Empire had to constantly seek out new worlds to overpower. Only by such means could the Empire's craving for resources be met. The T'Ong had been equipped with cryogenics, to ensure the crew a long safe mission. The outfitting was carried out according to Andalusian specifications. Much of the information on cryogenics was obtained from the Klingon Military Archives. The Andalusian military had cryogenicly frozen over 800,000 soldiers and civilians during the Occupation. Most of the data concerning the operation was stored on computer tapes. Although not complete, it would serve the basis for the outfitting T'Ong. The ship left Andalusian orbit (the outfitting was carried out in the Imperial Dockyards, orbiting the planet. See: The Klingon Ship of War) in 1699 (2290), and headed off on its voyage of triumph. Its return 75 years later would create temporary confusion in the quadrant. THE UNLIKELY ALLIANCE While pockets of resentment still existed, both sides began to realize that a peaceful solution to their problems was the best course of action. In 1702 (2293) an event happened that accelerated peace negotiations faster than diplomacy ever could. "For years I have been suggesting, no, begging that a complete overhaul of the nuclear facilities on Praxi's be undertaken. These devices are over 150 years old. Every year there are radiation leaks, breakdowns, and even deaths, at the complex. Sooner or later there will be a catastrophe, and by then it will be too late. Heed my words now, for if you don't, I fear the heart of the Klingon Empire will not survive." -Chief Energy Inspector, Bertaf, giving an interview to the Klingon media. His words were to be fulfilled three weeks later. In 1702 (2293), massive destruction was wreaked throughout Qo'noS and it's solar system, when the fusion reactor located on Praxi's (162), (162)-Praxi's was the major energy source for Qo'noS and its destruction left the Klingon Home world with six months of reserve energy supply. The Reactor complex located on the surface was one of the largest of its type in the Quadrant. The explosion virtually destroyed the moon and slightly shifted the orbit of Qo'noS. exploded. The blast started a massive chain reaction. The accompanying electromagnetic pulse disrupted or destroyed most of the communication centers on Qo'noS, and the atmosphere became filled with debris from the shattered moon. Millions were to die in the following weeks. R-45 R-46 Two views of the exploding Praxi's. " Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking, on behalf of First Officer Trang, we would like to thank you for travelling Andalusian Spaceways. We will be arriving at Koonadek in approximately..... Zirch droppings! Did you see that? Oh my warriors! Praxi's just exploded! Folks, it appears that something terrible has just happened on Praxi's. Trang, see if Koonadek Approach knows what's going on. Trang, Trang! Never mind the Blood Roe Pie! Check with the Tower! Ladies and Gentlemen, as soon as we have further information we will let you know." - Cockpit recordings of a Commercial interplanetary flight between Qo'noS and Andalusia. The Captain's attention was drawn by the brilliant flash from the exploding moon. His First Officer's attention was drawn by the underpickled Blood Roe Pie. He later died of food poisoning. The Federation were not given complete details for some time, and were simply advised that it was caused by a mining accident. The truth was kept secret for over a year. The reason for non- disclosure was the fear that a potential enemy government might try to press an advantage. Praxi's was the main lunar power station for Qo'noS. The use of outdated matter/anti-matter reactors posed the problem of an accidental core breach. While it is fine to jettison a core into the vacuum of space, it is another thing to experience a core breech on a planetary surface. The core assembly melts through the planetary crust, creating a volcanic vent. Praxi's is composed of large deposits of iron and uranium. The uranium was quite pure, and could be easily processed into nuclear fuel, for use in nuclear fusion reactors. The energy produced by the reaction was absorbed by liquid helium, which was encased in coils of crotidium. The crotidium converts heat energy into microwaves, and the coils were angled to focus the microwaves on receivers on Qo'noS. R-47 View of Praxi's before the explosion of 1702 (2293) The incident on Praxi's was caused by bureaucratic bungling and poor planning. The security of all government installations is a responsibility of the BBA, however, other departments tend to be rather jealous of the BBA's size and influence. The energy station's management was under the Lunar Power Commission (LPC). The LPC decided to build a series of reactors in a chain, to increase power output. This was done despite the protests of their own engineers, who wrote the following letter to the head of the Ministry of Energy, P'Fas, "...you! Are you all really that stupid? How are we supposed to take a reactor off-line for refit when you idiots have them all interconnected? And those pinheads you have managing the place, have ordered substandard materials, in some cases, inspections have not been carried out, and inspectors have mysteriously been found drifting in orbit. Most of the labourers are unskilled, unmotivated, and well-paid. That may be fine when you're on the high council but it doesn't help when your trying to run a nuclear power station. We lost ten workers and 20 company prostitutes when they went skinny-dipping in the heavy-water pool. If that wasn't enough the chief geologist just told us that the LPC ordered the mining of a Uranium deposit beneath the complex. Never mind the thousands of tons of red-hot radioactive equipment being supported by this deposit, the area is also unstable and prone to quakes. Shut down the facility, now! Or at least start construction of a new battery of reactors to replace this group. We're sitting on a nuclear bomb here! Oh yeah, and about the food,..." Upon receiving this letter, the minister sent the following memo to his brother on the board of the LPC, "...you!' Can you imagine! They said that to me! I thought you had given a gag order! Well, gag them! Nothing serious, just kill them..." The explosion of Praxi's, and the resulting devastation, propelled the Klingon Empire towards a truce with the Federation. The Klingon Government was forced to cut its military budget to fund the clean up of the ozone layer surrounding Qo'noS. The damage was of such a magnitude, and the cost so great, that the Klingon Empire offered to end the Cold War and demilitarize the Frontier, in exchange for immediate relief-aid from the Federation. Realizing the importance of the offer, the Federation instantly seized the opportunity, and convoys of relief aid were sent (163). (163)- The Federation was not the only nation to send its ships. Realizing the tremendous profits to be made, the Ferengi government offered its services; for a price. With the explosion of Praxi's, most Klingon homes on Qo'nos were without basic necessities. Home entertainment systems and personal transportation vehicles were hardest hit. As a gesture of good will, the Ferengi offered their huge cargo fleet, to provide transportation for such commodities; From: FERENGI-THE RACE THAT LIVES TO PROFIT; By the authors. "Now lets see, that's 250 ships, at 100 pieces of gold per ship. I make that 2500 pieces of gold. This is a weekly rate of course. Oh, and keep in mind that the crews and milage are extra. One other thing, there will be a damage deposit for each ship." -Ferengi cargo operations manager, making sure that the Klingon government was aware of the terms of rental for Ferengi cargo vessels. While the explosion of Praxi's was the catalyst for the change in Klingon-Federation relations, there were other factors which also speeded up the process. For years the Klingon population was growing at an alarming rate. A negative view on birth control, reduced numbers killed in war, and improved medical technology (albeit most of it stolen), all contributed to the rapid growth of the Klingon population. These increased numbers placed a colossal drain on the Empire's ability to provide basic necessities. "Every year the situation becomes worse. My position is besieged. The enemy grows in numbers. The violence and danger have driven me to the breaking point. Still, summer vacation is just around the corner." -Klingon school teacher, commenting on increased student enrolments. Another factor which speeded up negotiations was the state of the Klingon economy. Centuries of huge military budgets had finally caught up with the monetary resources of the Empire. Further, much of the investment went towards old and outdated technology. Such machinery was very inefficient and costly to run. Independent estimates suggested that 80% of Klingon technology was over 50 years in age, and would have to be replaced in the next 20 years (164). (164)-One of the oldest pieces of technology was the reactor on Praxi's. It was scheduled to be replaced 50 years before hand. Military priorities and bureaucratic red tape, delayed the replacement; consequently the Reactor Complex could not handle the tasks that were placed on it. The final motivation came from Romulus. The alliance between the Klingon and Romulan Empires had collapsed the previous year. Not being in a position to militarily engage the Romulans or the Federation (A few hard liners inside the BBA and Klingon Military suggested that a return to the warrior ways was the solution to all of the Empire's problems), Chancellor Gorkon decided to send out diplomatic feelers to the Federation (165). (165) Emperor Mirtof was in favour of the peace agreement as well, but decided to do what he did best, sit on the political fence. If an agreement was reached, he would be a popular Emperor, if it failed, Gorkon would be dead, and the Emperor would be leading the hawks into a war with the Federation. "Trust a Human? How can I trust a species that engages in personal hygiene? Trust a species that eats dead animals and keeps live ones indoors? Trust a species that shows compassion! Trust a species that forgives mistakes? Trust a species that protects the weak? Trust a species that does not like pain? Trust a species that encourages survival, and not death with honour? Trust a human? How can I trust what I cannot smell?" - Admiral Chang, a military hardliner who conspired with Federation Hardliners to scuttle the peace agreement. The reason is best explained in the following quote. "Without an enemy, a warrior's life has no purpose." - Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher and Royal Advisor to Karas the Cruel. "Only Nixon could go to China." - Old Vulcan Proverb. Vulcan Ambassador Sarek acted as an intermediary between his son, Federation Special Envoy Spock, and Chancellor Gorkon. The BBA assigned their top Junior High Substitute Team, to act as Gorkon's guards, during his rendezvous with the Enterprise. A BBA officer and substitute teacher, who lost an arm during the assassination attempt by the conspirators, related what happened: "The meal had not been successful. Gorkon was worried, and went to his quarters with his advisors. I took attendance and continued my watch. I had just finished quizzing a junior officer on celestial navigation (he had done badly) and sent him to his room with several assignments to be done if he wished to see the dawn. Without warning, the ship was hit by two or three heavy blasts. Someone told me the Enterprise had just opened up on us. Next thing I realize the gravity system had shut-off and I found myself floating. I saw two men in Federation worksuits. They fired and I lost an arm. They walked past me and I heard more phaser fire. After they beamed out I struggled to reach the Chancellor. I saw McCoy beating on his chest. The doctor said he was trying to start Gorkon's heart. Then I realized he was drunk from Romulan ale. The same with Kirk. I believe their incompetence directly contributed to Gorkon's death. Given what I have read of Kirk's file, it would not surprise me if he was indeed an active member of the conspiracy. He does what he believes in, and not what he is told to do." - Official report by BBA Agent T'Drak, describing the assassination of Chancellor Gorkon. Kirk and McCoy were tried on Qo'noS. They were given a fair trial by Klingon standards (they weren't executed before the trial). They were represented by Col. Worf, attorney at law. Worf was interviewed after the trial, by the magazine, Klingon Law Review; KLR: How did you get stuck with the Human trash? Worf: I did not get stuck with anyone, I volunteered. KLR: Was business slow, or did you need the money? Worf: It was pro bono work. My firm often does such legal aid cases. KLR: Of course, you knew the Human swine were guilty? Worf: They are not swine. My clients are innocent. Even now I am working on an appeal. KLR: Why? Worf: I've told you, they're innocent. KLR: So what? They're Human. At least they're doing something useful, dying slowly at the Rura Pentha dilithium mines. Worf: While I agree with our modern system of prisoner rehabilitation, I still think that someone should only go to prison if that person is in fact guilty. KLR: You're not a true Klingon are you? Perhaps some human rubbed off on you. Do I detect a dab of aftershave? Perhaps new underwear? Worf: Prepare to die. The scheduled two-part interview was terminated upon the untimely death of the KLR journalist. Found guilty of assassinating the Klingon Chancellor, Kirk and McCoy were sent to the Rura Penthe Dilithium Mines, the most infamous prison in all of the Klingon Empire. The Klingon Penal system is extensive, and rehabilitation usually takes the form of death. This is considered to be rehabilitation, because dead convicts don't repeat their crimes. A Ferengi Trader who had the contract for supplying provisions to the guards at Rura Pentha, gave this description: "The entire facility is underground. Humanoid life cannot exist on the surface, so severe is the cold. What life that exists there tends to be large carnivores that have discovered humanoids to be an easy source of food. They sometimes enter the access tunnels, and consume the prisoners. The guards have little contact with the prisoners, except to assign them work. If a prisoner misbehaves, or becomes ill and cannot work, they are taken to the surface and left to die. The prisoners themselves are quite dangerous, and I have witnessed many vile crimes among them. The Klingon guards often place bets on fights between prisoners. I made a small fortune by fixing several fights. I rewarded my fighters with a trip off the planet. They just didn't know that my next destination was another Klingon Prison Planet, where I would collect a reward for turning in the stowaway. I made enough money in one year to take my wife and children on a long holiday to the homeworld. We went skating." The hardliners were worried that McCoy and Kirk might be found innocent. As Worf's appeal worked its way up the Klingon legal system, Chang contacted Admiral Cartwright for advice. At Cartwright's courtmartial, the BBA provided this transcript: Chang: Worf is no fool. His appeal has merit. Cartwright: Relax. When did a legal appeal ever get anywhere on Qo'noS? Chang:It happens quite often, but the prisoner is usually dead. Cartwright: Then make it so. A shapeshifter was hired, at great cost, to gain the confidence of Kirk and McCoy, and lure them into a trap. It almost succeeded, but Kirk managed to foil the plot and escape with McCoy back to the Enterprise. During their internment on Rura Pentha, Capt. Spock had been conducting his own investigation. To his dismay, his protege Lt. Valeris was found to be one of the conspirators. Further research determined that the torpedo fire had not come from the Enterprise. The Enterprise's data records had been altered to make it appear so. The real culprit was a cloaked ship directly beneath the Enterprise (166). (166)- The Klingons had developed a Bird of Prey capable of firing weapons while still cloaked. Up until this point, ships had to decloak to fire weapons. The new technology caught Federation scientists by surprise. The technology was overcome by using plasma sensors. All Warp driven ships produce waste exhausts of denatured plasma. A homing torpedo can lock onto such waste and trace it back to the source; A COMPARISON OF MILITARY TECHNOLOGY ACROSS THE BETA QUADRANT, A Historical Perspective; Chapter 6, The Leading Edge-Cloaking devices and their derivatives. By the authors. After their escape from the prison colony, Kirk and McCoy, with the help of Spock and the others, learned of the plan for another assassination at the Khitomer Conference (167). R-48 Khitomer Council Chamber (167)-Khitomer is a planet located near the mutual Klingon/Federation/Romulan border. It served as the site for the first true peace negotiations. It would be attacked by Romulan military forces 53 years later. Four thousand Klingons were killed in the assault. "To be, or not to be." - Klingon General Kang, seconds before the Enterprise's plasma homing torpedo hit his ship. Kang was well versed in human literature, with Shakespeare being a personal favourite. Approaching the planet, the Enterprise was attacked by the cloaked bird of prey. The commander of the cloaked ship was General Chang of the Klingon military. He along with several Federation conspirators were opposed to the peace negotiations (168). (168) The conspirators were headed by General Chang of the Klingon military, and Federation Admiral Cartwright. They had taken the view that both worlds were destined to remain enemies. Peace was not the answer. Behind the scenes there were other reasons which only later came to light. General Chang was one of the main stockholders with Prontor Heavy Industries. Continued war with the Federation would mean many more profitable years, and a potential Directorship for Chang when he retired from the Military. Admiral Cartwright had similar motives. He had been offered the Chairmanship of the San Francisco Yards facility in Earth orbit. The facility was responsible for building many of the Federation's large Starships. A peace accord would bring much economic hardship on the facility, and withit, Cartwright's new job. Meeting with Chang, Cartwright formed a secret alliance with other hardliners. They felt the only solution was to sabotage the negotiations. First, Klingon Chancellor Gorkon would be killed. The blame would be placed on Captain James T. Kirk. If the negotiations continued, the Federation President would be assassinated at the Conference. The whole operation fell apart just outside Khitomer's orbit. Chang's cloaked ship inflicted heavy damage on the Enterprise early in the fight. Captain Hikaru Sulu, commanding the new Starship Excelsior, arrived on the scene and gave battle as well. The Klingon ship's cloaking technology was overcome by ingenuity on the part of the Enterprise's bridge crew. Theorizing that the cloaked ship could be detected by its exhaust plasma, the Enterprise modified a photon torpedo to home in on the plasma. A direct hit caused the Bird of Prey to become decloaked. Both Federation ships then destroyed the vessel with concentrated fire. General Chang was dead. Enterprise personnel beamed down to the conference and stopped the assassination. As Federation Senate Leader Harry Mudd remarked, "Where are people's ethics these days?" In 1717 (2318), the renegotiation of the terms of alliance stalled over differences in trade and the deployment of boarder units. The loss of a Klingon research ship was blamed on the Federation. Emperor Doolarf ordered the Bureau to investigate, but also ordered the military to plan a campaign against the Federation. It seemed there were hardliners still within the Klingon Government. "There defences are down. We could hit them and conquer many solar systems before they knew what hit them. We are their new friends remember. They would not be expecting an attack. The warrior race could triumph once more. We would join our ancestors who have died gloriously in battle. Those who say the Klingon Empire has grown weak, would feel the taste of our swords. Let us act now!" -Klingon Emperor Doolarf, showing his true feelings toward the Federation. He was addressing the high Council. Despite Doolarf's attempts, renewed war with the Federation was not initiated. High Council Chancellor T'Kruf, intervened and friendly relations with the Federation were maintained. THE BRIDGE IS COMPLETE Peace between the Federation and Klingon Empire did not come about in a short period of time. Decades of mistrust made both sides weary of the other. If one incident can be considered the turning point in relations, it would be the incident at Narendra III. If the Khitomer conference can be called the drawing up of the peace contract, the Narendra episode can be considered the signing of the contract. The Klingon outpost on the planet, was one of the Empire's most prized achievements. Dedicated to peaceful research, the facility was equipped with the most modern experimentation equipment. There was one catch, the Romulans had been claiming the planet for over fifty years. The Romulans believed the facility to be military in nature, and the first stage of a Klingon invasion into their space. "Your Highness, the Klingons are not famous for research. Name me one Klingon scientist who has contributed to the scientific community. The Klingon way is to let others invest vast amounts of resources in discovery, and then pilfer the results for themselves. Why should Narendra III be any different? We must make a first strike before it is too late." -Romulan Military commander advising the Empress to attack the Klingon outpost on Narendra III. The attack would cement the relationship between the Federation and Klingon Empire. The Romulan attack on Narendra III took place in late 1753 (2344). Easy victory, quickly turned to possible defeat, as a Federation Starship arrived in answer to the Klingon outpost's distress calls. The ship was the U.S.S. Enterprise (NCC-1701-C), commanded by Captain Rachel Garrett, immediate predecessor to the current Enterprise. The Enterprise put up a most gallant fight against the five attacking Warbirds. Before she was destroyed, and some of her crew captured, the Enterprise destroyed two of the Romulan ships and heavily damaged a third. The sacrifice of the Enterprise did not go unnoticed by the Klingon Government. Up to this point all peace gestures by the Federation were considered just that, gestures. In this case the supreme sacrifice had been made. The Klingon government viewed the Enterprise's crew with respect and admiration. They had died the Klingon death; in battle, with honour. "Perhaps now is the time to, well, not lay down the sword, but at least put it behind our backs. Captain Garrett and her crew have paid the ultimate sacrifice. They have died gloriously in battle. We must view this act as the start of permanent peace between our peoples. Past grievances must be forgotten. We must look to the future." -Klingon Ambassador M'Krut, addressing the Klingon High Council. M'Krut was a rarity in the Klingon race, and had come full circle in his views about the Federation. Nearly 120 years old at the time, he had participated in countless battles with both the Federation and Cardassians. Unlike most Klingon Warriors, M'Krut became sickened by what he saw. He witnessed much bloodshed, spilled over the most trivial of reasons. Never afraid to express his emotions, the attack on Narendra III changed his opinions about the Federation. M'Krut had always been close to his family, particularly his Grandchildren. The last six months had been difficult as they were living on Narendra III, and it was the longest time he had gone without seeing them. The reports of the Romulan attack nearly finished the old man off. He was on business to Earth, when the onslaught took place. When it was announced that 80% of the Klingon civilians had died, M'Krut feared the worst. Discovering that his Grandchildren had survived, thanks to the Enterprise's intervention, he vowed then and there to devote the rest of his life to promoting peace with the Federation. As the peace accord was being drawn up in late 1753 (2344), a most disturbing discovery was made by the BBA. The first details nearly scuttled the pact, but as more information became available, the true nature of the operation became known (169). (169)- A secret Romulan military establishment was located on planet Molloy L-7. Early reports indicated a Federation involvement. Later details indicated that the Romulans were using captured Federation ships. An attack by a joint Klingon\Federation team turned up evidence of the most barbaric of crimes. The Romulans had set up an experimental research station, whose purpose was the comparison of Klingon and Romulan physiologies. The Station, called RMRS-21, was headed by Dr. Mengelek Ramus, later to be known as "Ramus the Butcher." For a comprehensive description of the events, see Klingon Culture 7, Biology. The Complete story can be found in :THE ROMULAN FILES, An Untold Story, by the authors. The participation of the Federation in liberating RMRS-21, helped finalize the peace agreements between the two former adversaries. Since 1753 (2344) the two have experienced the most cordial of relations. The previous 100 years of conflict has been delegated to the history books. BETRAYAL "And Pontik's anger rose as the tide of an angry sea. And Pontik said to Kalmek, "The Mind Wars of Vulcan, and why we Vulcan Warriors left Vulcan are not to be spoken of! It is forbidden to discuss them. We are the masters of Romulus! I command you to remain silent!" And Kalmek bore no fear of the Vulcan Tyrant, and Kalmek said to Pontik, "Vulcan Tyrant, you cannot hide the truth with silence, because silence is a lie." - A quotation from Book 7 of the Writings of Kalmek. With the peace accord established with the Federation, the Klingon Empire entered a period of domestic instability. In 1755 (2346) the powerful Duras family, plotted to overthrow the Klingon Emperor. Realizing that the operation would not succeed without outside help, the Duras family enlisted the aid of the Romulan Empire. The operation was not however a total secret. BBA agent, Mogh (Father of Lt. Worf, U.S.S Enterprise) learned of the plan and followed one of the conspirators to the Klingon outpost at Khitomer. The confederate was identified as Ja'rod, a member of the Duras family. Assuming the trip would be short and relatively safe, Mogh brought his wife and son, Worf. His youngest son, Kurn, was left on Qo'noS with family friends. R-48 BBA Agent Mogh Unknown to Mogh, Ja'rod had supplied the Romulans with the access codes for the Klingon defenses of Khitomer. Armed with such information, the Romulans attacked the outpost. The planet's outer defenses were easily by passed, and the attacking Romulans began orbital bombardment of the surface. In the ensuing attack, four thousand Klingon civilians were killed, including Mogh and his wife. Mogh's six year old son Worf survived and was adopted by a Federation Starship crewmember (170)(171). R-49 Worf, son of Mogh, age two years. (170)-Lt. Worf was born on Qo'noS in 1749 (2340). At the age of six he was living on Khitomer when the Romulans attacked. He and his brother Kurn were separated just before the massacre. Worf did not become aware of his brother's existence until 20 years later. Adopted by a human family, Worf was raised on the farm world of Gault. Worf's father was posthumously accused of supplying the access codes to the attacking Romulans. It was 20 years before Worf could clear his father's name. In 1766 (2357) Worf entered Starfleet Academy. He would became the first Klingon to serve in Starfleet. Posted to the U.S.S. Enterprise, Worf has risen to the rank of Chief Security Officer on the death of the Enterprise's former security chief, Tasha Yar. A liaison with Emissary K'Ehleyr in 1774 (2365), would produce a son, Alexander. (171)-The U.S.S Intrepid was on patrol in the sector when it received Khitomer's distress signal. On board the ship was Federation Warp field specialist, Sergey Rozhenko. Finding the orphaned Worf, Rozhenko adopted him as his own son. INTERNAL AFFAIRS THE KLINGON EMPIRE: 1755 (2346) to the Present "Your excellency, I have some disturbing news from the Director of the Imperial Archives. While renovating the east wing of the building, some unfiled documents were discovered. Most deal with trivial matters such as increased taxes by the Ferengi, a call for upgrading old equipment, etc. One of the files however requires your immediate attention. It is a special report filed by the then Director of the BBA, Dirtiff. He tells of a secret mission by a Klingon ship. The ship is called the T'Ong. She left the Home worlds 75 years ago. The mission was a unique affair as there is no record of any similar assignments. The cryogenics computer was set for 75 years. If the timing mechanism is still functioning, our long lost brothers will awaken in 13 days. If your excellency is not aware, the ship's launch date was before the First Khitomer peace conference. Our sleeping warriors will awaken not knowing that we are at peace with the Federation. The ship was armed with the latest in 1790's technology. Millions will die unless we act. I strongly advise that we contact the Federation, and advise them of the situation." "You woke me up to tell me that?! I pay you to think, P'Krat! Just kill them. Have the Federation kill them. I don't care. Now go away. I'm going fishing with my grandmother tomorrow. She can't last forever!" - Current BBA Director, P'Krat, detailing the mission of the T'Ong. She was advising the Klingon Chancellor to contact the Federation and make arrangements for dealing with this threat from the past. The Chancellor was preoccupied with a more immediate threat. The reemergence of the cryogenic ship, T'Ong, in 1774 (2365), and the successful resolution to the crises, was an outstanding example of cooperation between the Klingon Empire and the Federation. The event demonstrated just how far relations between the two had progressed. The Klingon Government dispatched Special Emissary, K'Ehleyr, to the Starship Enterprise, commanded by Captain Jean-Luc Picard. The T'Ong crew was expected to be revived near the Boradis system. Given their Klingon nature, and ignorance of the events of the past 75 years, it was anticipated that the crew would immediately go on the offensive and attack Federation targets. K'Ehleyr recommended intercepting and destroying the T'Ong. Captain Picard requested other options. (172). (172)- The T'Ong was sent on its mission in 1699 (2290), under the guise of exploration and colonization of far distant worlds. The BBA had alterior motives. Intelligence reports indicated that the Federation was expanding deep into space. Given the limited resources of the Klingon Home Worlds, a direct military match-up was impossible. A feasible alternative was to dispatch a fleet of cryogenicly equipped ships to far sectors of the Galaxy. A staggered revival sequence would ensure a continuous presence of Klingon Warships. The BBA believed that no matter where the Federation expanded, the Klingon Empire would be there, ready and capable for combat. The whole operation was scuttled when Praxi's exploded. Not wanting their plan of 75 years ago, to come to light, the BBA ordered K'Ehleyr make sure the ship was destroyed. She was not aware of the ship's true mission. The BBA were not aware of the Diplomatic nature of Captain Picard. Rather than order the senseless destruction of the T'Ong, Picard solved the problem in another manner. Acting on the advice of his Klingon security chief, Picard developed a strategy which resolved the dilemma (173). (173)- During the T'Ong incident, Chief Security Officer, Lt. Worf, generated the plan which ended the crisis. Pretending that he was the Enterprise's Captain, and that the Klingon Empire had won the war, "Captain Worf" ordered the T'Ong's Captain to surrender. Faced with the overwhelming power of the ship they were facing, Captain K'Temok complied, and the affair was resolved. In 1775 (2366), the Klingon High Council, led by K'mpec, launch an investigation into the Khitomer affairs of 20 years before. Their conclusion was that Mogh was responsible for the ambush. The Council recommended that Mogh be tried as a traitor (174). (174)- The charges were made by Council member Duras. He was the son of Ja'rod, the Klingon that Mogh suspected of collaborating with the Romulans; THE ROMULAN FILES, An Untold story, by the authors. The charges laid in the Council chambers were to extend right to the Federation. Mogh's son, Lt. Worf, serving on the U.S.S. Enterprise, was informed of the accusations by a Klingon exchange officer. The officer, Commander Kurn, also informed Worf that he was Worf's brother. Kurn had been on Qo'noS when the Romulans attacked Khitomer. According to Klingon law Worf had to return to Qo'noS and challenge the ruling, or the family name would be dishonoured for seven generations. If Worf challenged the ruling and lost, both he and Kurn would be executed in their Father's name. As Family honour was at stake, Worf challenged the ruling. Kurn remained on the sidelines concealing his identity. During the hearings, the Enterprise crew discovered the truth behind the matter. Ja'rod was the real traitor, not Mogh. By bringing the evidence to K'mpec, Worf hoped to discredit the Duras family. K'mpec however, reminded Worf how powerful the Duras Family was. Such Charges would split the Empire. "Worf, I understand where you are coming from, but we must keep the whole Klingon Empire in mind. By angering the Duras Family, we risk sending our glorious nation into civil war. I realize that your Family's honour is at stake, but is the Klingon Empire not more important than one Family? You must look beyond your own feelings. Your father was an honourable man, he would understand." - Klingon Council Leader, K'mpec, explaining to Worf the implications of incensing the influential Duras Family. Before judgement could be passed, Kurn was attacked and seriously injured. Needing a ceremonial Second, the Enterprise's Captain, Jean-Luc Picard stepped in and stood by Worf. Because the new evidence was ruled inadmissible, Worf decided to settle on a compromise. In exchange for Kurn's safety, Worf agreed to accept responsibility for his father's "actions". By doing so he was excommunicated from Klingon society, but the Empire remained intact. "By the strength of warriors past, I will restore my father's honour. With the spirit of a true Klingon, I will avenge my Family's disgrace. Their will be vindication. Lt. Worf does not admit defeat. Another day will dawn and the challenge shall be taken up once more." -Lt.Worf, vowing to fight for his Family's honour. VENGEANCE IS MINE Only one year was to pass before Worf obtained his revenge. "I fear my time is growing short. I must reach Captain Picard to inform him of the situation. The truth must be told. The Duras Family has ended my life, but they must not be allowed to sell the Klingon Empire into Romulan hands. You, Gowron, must work with Picard to ensure the treachery is exposed. I believe you two have met before. Do not delay, for time is of the essence." - Advice from Klingon Council leader, K'mpec, to Gowron, new challenger to the Klingon leadership. In 1776 (2367), Klingon Council Leader, K'mpec, attended a dinner in honour of BBA Director P'Krat. She was celebrating her 30th anniversary in office. The occasion was held in one of Koonadek Palace's larger banquet rooms. The Guest list included a who's who of Klingon society. In addition, 18 foreign dignitaries were invited. The food was of the highest Klingon standards, and if the guests preferred something more elaborate, a special intergalactic menu was available. No expense was spared. To this day, the occasion is remembered as "The Party". The Irish Rovers song "Wasn't that a Party" became the theme song for the gathering (175). All the catering arrangements were handled by the Ferengi (176). (175) - The Irish Rovers were one of Ireland's biggest musical groups during the 1960's, 70's, and 80's. Their song "Wasn't that a Party", told of the exploits of a large group of drunken partiers. Translated into Klingon, the song remains one of the most popular at Klingon State Dinners; The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland, Ohio, Earth. (176)- The elaborate dinner put together by the Ferengi was two months in the planning. The most difficult part of the preparations were the liquid refreshments. The Klingon Council had made a special request for the very best in beverages. This of course meant Romulan Ale. A problem arose when it was discovered that all Ferengi storage vaults were empty of the refreshment. The last time Ferengi caterers made the mistake of using a substitute, the Klingon guests used them for after dinner "amusement". As much was at stake here, including lives and a continued contract, the genuine article had to be found. The first problem to be overcome was the clamping down on exports by the Romulan Government. The Romulan Ale Commission (RAC), protested that such stringent new standards would hurt business. Nevertheless the Government refused to alter the new policy. Not wanting to offend their best customers, agents of the RAC, made arrangements with the Ferengi to circumvent the regulations. The Ale would be brought to the edge of the Neutral Zone, were Ferengi transport ships would be waiting. The ships could be described as a Warp engine with a hull built around it. Able to out run all but the fastest of military ships, the Ferengi vessels also had the benefit of small size. While many were caught or destroyed by the Romulan Border patrols, there was never a shortage of smuggling crews. The Ferengi Government rewarded such Captains handsomely. In addition, the RAC threw in a bonus for the crews because of continued "loyalty" to their product. It was by this route that the Romulan Ale served at the dinner was obtained. There was however, one negative aspect to the whole deal. The Ale obtained was 4x stronger than normal. After the guests had two or three glasses each, the "real" festivities began. Before the night was over, 42 guests lay dead, and another 54 seriously injured. The "Party", as it later became known, has gone down in history as the greatest celebration ever held on Qo'noS (since Staking Day); From: FERENGI-THE RACE THAT LIVES TO PROFIT; by the authors. After the meal had been eaten, and toasts proposed, Council Leader K'mpec, retired early, citing that he was tired from the days activities. At three in the morning, against his warrior conscience, he sent for his personal physician. Food poisoning was suspected, and tests would have to be carried out. "Shall you tell him or shall I? The last time he received bad news, he beheaded the messenger. Now one of us must inform him that he has been poisoned, and that there is no known antidote. I for one do not believe in the old Klingon tradition of dying gloriously in battle. In fact, as Klingons go, I am a coward. You tell him, you've had 30 good years in office. Make room for the younger generation. I've only been a doctor for 8 years." -K'mpec's personal physician, T'Kof, displaying his reluctance to notify the Council leader about his serious condition. He was talking to BBA Director, P'Krat. She later told K'mpec about his condition. No attack was made on her, but when K'mpec found out about his physician's cowardice, he had the physician beheaded. As the only one affected by the poison was K'mpec, the BBA was called into investigate. Laboratory tests determined that the poison was an extract from a rare Romulan plant. Although not a fast acting poison, nevertheless the condition was fatal. K'mpec was going to die. As soon as he heard the news, K'mpec had a good idea who his assassin was. BBA intelligence reports had indicated that members of the Duras family were plotting to install one of their members as Council Leader. Knowing that his time was limited, K'mpec sent for the person he hoped would succeed him as Leader, Gowron (177). (177)- Gowron, son of M'Rel, was one of the BBA's most honoured agents. In 1753 (2344), he single handedly uncovered the location of RMRS-21, Ramus's research station. With the help of Lt. Picard (later Captain of the Enterprise) and other Federation personnel, Gowron destroyed the facility and exposed the truth about the facility. Decorated for his actions, Gowron rose quickly up the ranks of the BBA hierarchy. With the unsettling reports of the Duras conspiracy, Gowron approached K'mpec, offering his services; Authors interview with Gowron aboard the Klingon Battlecruiser Mortas. Upon arrival at the Palace, Gowron found K'mpec in a weakened condition. Gowron recommended that K'mpec seek out Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation. Remembering the events of 23 years before, Gowron was fully aware of Picard's diplomatic skills. In addition, Picard's knowledge of Klingon customs would make him an ideal arbitrator in the upcoming fight for the Klingon Leadership. BBA intelligence reports indicated that Picard's ship, the Enterprise, was investigating radiation anomalies in the Gamma Arigulon system. K'mpec chartered a Vor'cha Class Attack Cruiser, and plotted an intercept course. Accompanying him was Klingon Emissary, K'Ehleyr and her child Alexander (178). (178)-Alexander is the son of Lt. Worf, Chief Security Officer of the Enterprise. The child was conceived two years, before when K'Ehleyr was on board because of the T'Ong incident. Up until this time, Worf was unaware of his son's existence. From the author's personal interview with Lt. Worf. After contacting Picard, K'mpec informed him of his impending death. As a dying wish he wanted Picard to mediate the upcoming confrontation between Duras and Gowron. In addition, he requested Picard's help in determining who poisoned him. Picard agreed to both. His message delivered, K'mpec died in peace. With the arrival of the two candidates for the Klingon Leadership, the "ja'chug" (succession) process began. As the procedure commenced, K'Ehleyr uncovered the truth about Duras's father, Ja'rod. It was he and not Worf's father, Mogh, that betrayed the Klingons at Khitomer. In an attempt to keep the knowledge secret, Duras killed K'Ehleyr. Learning of the deed, Worf claimed the right for vengeance and beamed aboard the Klingon ship. The two warriors fought with honour and dignity until Worf emerged victorious (1). As the lone survivor, Gowron was appointed temporary leader of the Klingon High Council. (1) Personal Dueling is a violation of the Federation Officer's Code. The punishment for such activity is left to the descretion of the individual's commanding officer. Worf was verbally reprimanded by Capt. Picard, and a written reprimand was placed in Worf's file. He also lost a year's seniority. Lt. Worf filed a grievance, citing special circumstances (revenging the death of a mate) and the fact that the duel took place aboard a Klingon Vessel, thus it was outside Federation jurisdiction. The matter has since gone to arbitration. THE SECOND KLINGON CIVIL WAR The death of Duras did not end the Klingon Empire's domestic troubles. In 1777 (2368), a new Challenger stepped forward (179). (179)- In some respects it was an old challenge. The late Duras's sisters had come forward, proclaiming Toral, Duras's illegitimate son, the rightful leader of the Klingon High Council. The jockeying for power and subsequent involvement of Romulan Military forces, propelled the Klingon Empire into civil war; Authors personal interview with Toral (Prisoner #456-893), at the Rura Penthe Dilitium mines. Before Gowron was installed as Council Leader, Toral stepped forward and challenged the claim. Gowron knew from BBA reports that the Duras family had obtained the help of certain segments of the Romulan Military. As mediator, Captain Picard examined the challenge from the Duras Family. He rejected the challenge based on Klingon Law. The installation of Gowron as High Council Leader went ahead as scheduled (180). (180)- Captain Jean-Luc Picard, of the starship, Enterprise, became the first Human to preside over the investiture of a Klingon Emperor in The Great Hall Of Koonadek. He was given this position because of his unique qualifications. As a result of his adoption by several powerful Klingon Families after his actions at RMRS-21, Picard is now third in line to the Klingon throne. The denial by Picard did not deter the Family of Duras. They were determined to overthrow Gowron. Needing supplies and military backing, the Family of Duras turned to the Romulans. When Gowron became aware of this transaction he approached Lt. Worf with an offer. In exchange for Worf's and Kurn's help, Gowron promised to restore their Family honour. Worf immediately agreed, and ordered Kurn to join them. Kurn brought with him three other squadron commanders who were loyal to Gowron. At this point, Worf was faced with a dilemma (181). (181)- Gowron had originally requested Starfleet assistance in the dispute. Starfleet (through Captain Picard) declined, saying that the matter was an internal Klingon affair. The Federation would not become involved in civil war. Lt. Worf was torn between two allegiances, Starfleet, and his Klingon heritage. To avoid bringing the Federation into the dispute, Worf resigned his commission. He joined the forces of Gowron and became weapons officer aboard the Battlecruiser Bortas. Authors personal interview with Lt. Worf. "The decision is the hardest of my life. I am torn between my loyalty to Starfleet, and honour to my Warrior heritage. The decision must be the correct one. I cannot afford to be in error. I am in turmoil. What will happen to my pension?" - Lt. Worf, discussing his internal conflict with the Enterprise's councillor, Deanna Troi. In the early stages of the conflict, Gowron's forces went on the offensive, destroying Duras supply bases in the Mempa sector. Regrouping, the Romulan backed Duras Family, inflicted heavy damage on Gowron's squadron. Faced with certain defeat, Gowron pleaded with the Federation to intervene, and come to his assistance. "Send an urgent message to Starfleet. We are in retreat, and require immediate assistance. We can not hold out much longer. The integrity of the Klingon Empire depends on your help. - High Councillor Gowron, ordering his communications officer to contact starfleet. Although sympathy was expressed by the Federation, they still maintained their policy of neutrality. Involvement in civil war was not part of the Federation constitution. Only if the Federation was directly at risk, could Starfleet intervene. FIRST MOVE "Captain Picard, the Klingon situation has taken a new turn. Intelligence reports indicate that the Romulans have become directly involved in the conflict. We have received reports that a large convoy, with heavy escort is on its way to supply forces loyal to the Duras Family. Our agents suspect that the Romulans have other motives. We believe the ultimate goal of the Romulans is infringement on Klingon territory. Starfleet has an obligation to the Klingon Empire, to ensure that this does not happen. I am authorizing you to lead a 23 ship force to intercept the Romulan convoy. I don't have to remind you that the stability of the Quadrant hinges on your every decision. Good luck, and God speed." - Admiral, Shanthi, outlining the Federation's change in policy concerning the Klingon situation. The gains made by Gowron's forces in the Mempa sector were soon negated by the Duras Family receiving supplies from Romulan Military forces. When Federation agents became aware of this, they advised Starfleet that unless action was taken, the Duras Family would be successful in overthrowing Gowron. Further the Duras Family would be a puppet government controlled by the Romulans. Armed with new information, Starfleet organized a Blockading Fleet, whose purpose was to break the Romulan supply lines. The first order of business, was to develop a method of detecting the cloaked Romulan ships (182). (182)- While prevented from developing their own cloaking device by treaty, the Federation nevertheless devoted sizable resources to developing counters to the technology. As soon as a detection method was developed, the Romulans would counter with a more sophisticated cloaking method, the result was a game of hide and seek. The most recent version remained undetectable until the Second Klingon civil war. Using Tachyon emissions, Federation ships were able to track the Romulan Blockade runners; A COMPARISON OF MILITARY TECHNOLOGY ACROSS THE BETA QUADRANT, A Historical Perspective; Chapter 6, The Leading Edge-Cloaking devices and their derivatives. By the authors. With their ships no longer invisible, the Romulans aborted the convoy mission leaving the Duras Family with out their much needed supplies. Without his Romulan supporters, Toral backed down and ended his quest for Gowron's position. Charged with treason, Toral's life was put in Worf's hands. Worf refused to kill Toral, and instead Toral was banished to the Dilithium mines. His mission accomplished, Worf asked to be reinstated into Starfleet. Not wanting to lose the services of a valuable officer, Starfleet readily accepted. THE RETURN OF KAHLESS "No, I don't believe it. Kahless died and went to his glory, over a thousand years ago." "But sir, he lives. Our agents have seen him with their own eyes." "An illusion. A magician's trick. They've been drinking again. Have them executed." "But sir, they passed their drug tests." "Impossible. Execute the laboratory staff for incompetence. And the lab rats. I hate lab rats. They have little beady eyes, like my grandmother. How I hate that fiend! Did I ever tell you how she killed my first date? "Often sir. But back to the matter at hand. The agents are not at fault, the lab staff well-qualified, and the lab rats are expensive to replace." "The great Kahless has not returned. This is another attempt by the Duras family to take the leadership away from me. Toral must have escaped. His aunts are trying to restart the War. I smell a Romulan Plot! Our office staff must be drinking again. Have them executed!" " But sir, they have seniority, and the union is in a restive mood. Toral is still imprisoned at the Rura Penthe Mines. His aunts have been under surveillance since the last incident. They have not mounted any new challenge. The Romulans have their own problems to worry about." "Then what do you make of it? I have the knife stained with the blood of the dead Kahless. Perhaps you misunderstood the message. Go and execute yourself!" "Sir, I have the transcribed message here for you to see. I have read it correctly." "...Alright... you can live. But tell me, who is this imposter?" "We don't know sir, but the Enterprise is transporting him here. Let us meet this proclaimed warrior from the past. "Fine. I'll meet him. Then I'll kill him!" "And the others sir,the agents and the lab staff, may they live?" "As you wish. But not the rats! I hate rats. They have little beady eyes, like my grandmother...The imposter, it's not her is it?!" "No sir, I saw her weightlifting this morning... she's getting stronger." "As long as its not her I have a chance." - Exchange between Chancellor Gowron, and BBA Director P'Krat. Gowron refused to believe that Kahless had returned from the dead, even though Klingon legend had foretold of the event. Last year, (1778 (2369)), the Klingon Empire faced one of its greatest challenges. For over a thousand years, legends had told of the second coming of the great Klingon Warrior, Kahless. The date was unsure, but the place was believed to be the sacred planet of Borath. Last year, the legends appeared to be correct. The great Kahless stepped forward and proclaimed his return. There was immediate rejoicing throughout the Klingon Empire. The Greatness of the Empire would be restored now that Kahless had returned. Realizing that his position of absolute power was on the line, Chancellor Gowron, set out to disprove the claimant. Gowron retrieved the actual knife that was stained with the real Kahless's blood. Presenting it to Dr. Beverly Crusher (Chief medical officer of the Federation Starship Enterprise), Gowron waited for DNA tests to prove that the "returned" Kahless was an imposter. The tests however, showed an identical match. At least from a genetic point of view, the two were one and the same. Still unconvinced, Gowron challenged Kahless to a fight. Gowron believed that the real Kahless would quickly defeat him in battle. The fight had a different outcome, as Gowron won. Gowron was now convinced that this was not the real Kahless. While Gowron was using his methods to expose the imposter, the Enterprise's security chief, Lt Worf uncovered the truth. Many on Borath felt that the time was right for Kahless's return, so they "speeded" things up. Using tissue cells of the real Kahless, they cloned the Great Warrior. Genetically identical, but without the wisdom or spirit of the real Kahless. When word of the deception had spread throughout the Klingon Empire, many were still inspired by this reincarnation from the past. They would not accept any other leader than Kahless. Realizing that the Empire could become polarized, a compromise was reached. The position of Emperor would become symbolic, with Kahless holding the title as a spiritual figurehead. Gowron would remain as Chancellor, holder of real Governmental power. The proposal was accepted by all, and remains so to the time of this writing. Since we began our history of Klingon with a quotation from Damo Mor, it is only appropriate we conclude with his own summary: "...all peoples of the universe exist to provide for the Ferengi. The Klingons are a difficult breed to do business with. And the only thing worse than a Klingon's anger is a Klingon's smell! But there is profit in knowing them better..." We hope that in having come to understand Klingons better, you the reader are able to appreciate not only what makes Klingons different from us, but what makes them similar. Until our next update, may you live long enough to die well! PUBLISHERS' NOTE - That update may be some time in coming. Shortly after the mauscript for "THE KLINGON CHRONICLES" arrived in New York (Earth), both Mr. Thorne and Mr. Embleton were arrested on Qo'noS for credit card fraud. Apparently, the authors were drawing funds from Chancelor Gowron's account without authorization. The authors claim that they are the innocent victims of a mistake by the Bank of Qo'noS. This bank coincidentally lost a great deal of money with the collapse of the tourist industry, following the publication of the authors' phrase book, "OLD KLINGON FOR TOURISTS." The Bank claimed that it held no grudge against the authors, but it did petition the Council of Mothers of Dead Warriors to invoke the death penalty in this case. The Council, noting that the defendants were innocent, but had not once called their mothers from Qo'noS, instead handed down a sentence of life- imprisonment on Rura Pentha. Chancelor Gowron intervened, and amended the sentences to five-years each. Since the average life expectancy on Rura Pentha is two-years, the authors have launched an appeal. We, the publishers, who took a financial bath settling out of court with the litigants from the authors' previous fiasco, couldn't be happier with this turn of events. KLINGON CULTURE 9 THE KLINGON SHIP OF WAR The basis of Klingon military power is the space warship. To build such a vessel takes years; requiring materials from many contractors, and thousands of hours of skilled labour. To replace the whole Klingon Battlecruiser fleet would take decades, as both materials and skilled labour are in limited supply. R-23 Klingon Battlecruiser, Circa 1677 (2268) A Battlecruiser is designed to carry a maximum armament (Phasers, Disrupters, Photon torpedoes), heavy armour (ability to withstand punishment), while maintaining manoverability. Welding both together is the crew, without which the ship is just one more piece of space hardware. Generally, the heavier the armament/armour, the less manouverable the vessel. The best architects strive for a balance of both. Warships in the Klingon Navy range from heavy, first line Battlecruisers, to small lightly armed scout vessels. In between fall the cruisers and Birds of prey. The latter is a good example of foreign influence on Klingon warship design. Originally a Romulan creation, the Klingon navy has taken the layout and improved on it, incorporating the latest in cloaking and weapons technology. WARSHIP VARIATION To the casual observer, all warships look alike. To the trained eye, each vessel has characteristics that give it its place in the fleet. At the top of the fleet hierarchy we find the First Line Heavy Battlecruisers. At the time of this writing 2369, this role is filled by the K'VORT class Battlecruiser. Armed with the latest in weapons and engine technology, the K'VORT's are the latest design in a long line of Klingon Warships. For clarification purposes, the term "class" denotes a group of ships all built to the same specifications. Once a prototype is built and tested, an assembly line is set up and multiple copies are produced. These are called the production variants. Each ship is give a distinct name, but all are considered part of the one class. While slight changes may be made to the design over time, the fundamental blueprint is adhered to. Over a period of years (20 is average), new technology and materials render the old design obsolete, and a new class of ships will have to be built. The Federation Galaxy class (Enterprise, Yamato) starships are a good example. The old Federation Constitution class (Enterprise, Lexington, Yorktown, Hood, etc) starships numbered 12 before the design was changed. The Klingon K'VORT class, was preceded by the K'TERT class. The K'TERT's served the Klingon Military for over 30 years before being replaced by the more modern K'VORT's. R-24 Klingon K'Vort Class Battlecruiser, Circa 1777 (2368) Heavy Battlecruisers are designed for large scale fleet operations, and make up most of the strike power of the Klingon Navy. Rarely do they operate independently. Instead they usually travel in squadrons of five. For tasks requiring a smaller ship, the Klingon Navy uses Birds of Prey. Much smaller and more manuverable, Birds of Prey are ideal for pursuing pirates down to planets. As well its state of the art cloaking device allows it to escape all but the most sensitive of sensors. Because these ships tend to operate singularly, they are a more sought after command than the larger Battlecruisers. Few Klingon Captains desire to be tied to the fleets apronstrings, or escorting a convoy of lumbering transports. Instead they crave the role of lone warrior, seeking out enemy vessels, and engaging in glorious ship to ship battles. R-25 Klingon Battlecrusier, Circa 1677 (2268) At the lower end of the spectrum, lie the scout vessels and light cruisers. Slightly armed and with limited warp technology, these ships tend to be used for escort duty or small commando raids. Such vessels never engage enemy Battlecruisers, as one phaser blast would destroy the ship. The remainder of the fleet is made up of supply ships and troop transports. Large, slow, and lightly armed, such ships are not the most desired commands in the Klingon navy. Their Captains tend to be pulled from the ranks of those judged to be of "limited" warrior quality. A Captain of a Battlecruiser or Bird of Prey who failed to kill many of the enemy, would quickly find his or her self at the helm of such a lumbering ship. With such a miserable existence looking over their shoulders, many Captains become serial killers, dispatching subordinates at a frightful rate. By keeping the body count high, their place in the battle fleet is secured (61). (61)- HUNTING KLINGONS, The Pursuit of the Killer Captains, by Dr. Elliot Leyton. SHIP DESIGN AND CONSTRUCTION Up until the early 1600s, Battlecruiser architecture had not become a profession in its own right. Private individuals would submit their designs to the military for an evaluation, and a "decision" made. The "decision" involved having the designers fight one another until but one victor emerged. Believing that a ship carried the spirit of its creator, the surviving draftsperson received the contract. In an attempt to improve the quality of Battlecruiser design, Emperor Torak created the first school of space architecture. Instead of having the designers fight to the death, the completed prototypes would be crewed by the designers and their families. The victorious ship would then be rushed into production. "The destruction of the designers and their families, means that inferior genetics will not be passed down to future warship designers. In one glorious act, we purge the gene pool and select the best Battlecruiser. Let's see the Romulans improve on this." -Emperor Torak outlining the advantages of Klingon warship architecture. Once the design was "agreed" on, the production variant would be initiated. The largest ships in the Klingon space fleet, Heavy Battlecruisers, are built in the Navy's Imperial Dockyards, orbiting the planet Andalusia. Andalusia was chosen because the mineral Deutridium, the main element in the ship's construction, is found in abundance on Andalusia, but is rare on Qo'noS. By building the ships in Andalusian orbit, there is a great saving in transportation costs. All ships of the Klingon Navy are built under military supervision. As well, each ship under construction is appointed one BBA officer as an overseer. The slightest mistake and the unlucky worker is off to the mining colonies. The Imperial Dockyards orbiting Andalusia, are capable of building 9 first line Battlecruisers simultaneously. Given that one K'Vort Class Battlecruiser has a mass in excess of 85,000 tons, the magnitude of the whole operation can easily be seen. The Deutridium used in the ships construction is mined on the planet below. To be incorporated into the ships hull it first must be processed. Contractors, bid, attack, and literally kill one another for the Military tender. K'Mert Industries of Andalusia has secured the most processing contracts (62). (62)-K'Mert recruiters seek out the vilest, most ruthless inhabitants of Klingon prisons and mining camps. These new employees become the chief contract "bidders" for the organization. Rival bidders rarely win, and the few that do, have a habit of disappearing; BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES IN THE KLINGON EMPIRE, By the authors. The processing involves combining Deutridium with Titanium to produce a super strong metal Alloy. These 1.3 meter thick sheets are then transported to the orbiting construction facility. The first step in construction, is to frame out the hull. Longitudinal beams are held in place by huge Gantry cranes, until the cross beams are attached. Once the skeleton is framed out, the contact holders are removed and tractor beams can be employed to hold the ship in place. The decks are installed next. These horizontal structures are composed of Tribodium compounds, which though light in weight, can withstand tremendous loads. Each deck is half a meter in thickness, and the distance between adjacent decks is two meters. Once the decks are in place, all the heavy machinery is installed. Antigravitation units, reactor cores, computer housings, weapons generators, etc, all are secured in their proper place. The final step in initial construction involves enclosing the hull. Once again Tribodium is used. Besides its great strength, Tribodium has superb flexibility, enabling it to be shaped and moulded around the ship's contours. Once enclosed, the ship is pressurized and ready for final assembly. FINAL ASSEMBLY "Something must be done! This situation is simply intolerable, and to be quite honest, I believe that people are going to get hurt. These guys are ruthless and play too rough!" - Teamster Shop Steward, protesting the aggressive recruiting methods of a Klingon Union, hoping to expand into the Federation labour market. One of the most impressive sights to be seen in the Klingon solar system, is the parade of nearly complete Battlecruisers moving from Andalusia to Qo'noS. The 9 ships are towed by small interplanetary tugs to the final assembly station in Qo'nos orbit. Here the Warp engines and electronics are installed. The engines are supplied by Praf and Witnor, the giant Klingon space contractor. They are the sole engine suppliers to the Klingon military. Each K'Vort class Battlecruiser is outfitted with two high performance Warp engines. As the engines are being installed, technicians are outfitting the cruiser with the latest in electronics. Everything from environmental to sensory control is installed, secured, and tested (63). (63)- One of the most unpleasant occupations in the Klingon Military is the Systems Evaluator. Once all the systems have been installed they have to be checked. The Evaluator and his or her assistants, give each system and subsystem a complete checkup. Only when they are satisfied that all is in working order, does the ship get handed over to the Naval Command. There is, however, a draw back to this occupation. If mistakes and glitches are later found, the repercussions are swift and merciless. The Chief Evaluator, his or her assistants, and all their family members are tracked down and executed by the BBA. If the mistake is a serious one (Captain's ready room the wrong color) the family pets are killed as well. "The klingon Navy does not tolerate such shoddy workmanship. A true warrior should not have an orange cabin. There would be talk. If such news spread the Imperial Captains Society would revoke my membership. No, I asked for duck egg blue, and this is what I shall have!" -Battlecruiser Captain outlining his preference on interior design colors. Smaller ships of the Klingon Navy are constructed on the surface. Light cruisers and Birds of prey, are built by Prontor Industries of Koonadek. As both types of ships can take off from the surface, the expense of constructing in space is eliminated. Prontor subcontracts out the various components for the ships, and in times of war there is much "bidding" for the tenders. All the components are brought to Prontor's final assembly plant on the outskirts of Koonadek, where fabrication takes place. Before the ships are transferred to orbit, for trials, the Klingon Navy holds an official blessing and 'christening'. The blessing consists of chanting the words of Kan Ada. The 'christening', however, adds the excitement to the occasion. Two newly promoted captains are brought before the assembled dignitaries, one is given command, the other is not (64). (64)- Commanding a Klingon warship is a lesson in survival. To determine if a prospective Captain has such survivability, the Admiralty conducts a "test". The "test" involves pitting the two eager young Captains against one another in combat. The winner receives command, the loser (if he or she is lucky) dies in combat. If by some chance the defeated Captain survives, he or she is further humiliated by being given command of a freighter. As one defeated Captain put it: "I went from a potential glorious career in the Klingon Military, to messmate with the Ferengi, all in less than five minutes." WARSHIP MAINTENANCE AND REPAIR A typical Klingon Battlecruiser will undergo 30-40 refits in her career. The Admiralty regulations state that irregardless of the type of patrol, all first line Battlecruisers will undergo refit and overhaul every six months. These twice a year major refits do not include repairs for battle or storm damage. All major refits and repairs are carried out in the Imperial Dockyards in Andalusian orbit. Repairs range from replacing hull plates and burnt out circuits, to installation of new reactor cores. Maintenance includes updating the weapons and electronics with the latest in developed or stolen technology. Once every five years a Battlecruiser undergoes a complete tear down. This entails major structural work, such as removing decks and beams. Once the vessel is completely stripped of her space going apparatus, the remaining skeleton is given a sounding analysis using the latest in structural evaluation. Such checks are carried out to look for cracks in the Deutridium and Tribodium alloy plates. A hairline fracture, though invisible to the naked eye, could prove catastrophic at high Warp speed. The Imperial Dockyard contains a large inventory of stores and parts for the outfitting cruisers. If a particular item is not available, a private contracting firm will shuttle it up from the surface. On rare occasions, the part has to come from Qo'noS (65). (65)- In either case the transport contract is held by the Ferengi. Not wanting to miss an opportunity, the Ferengi at one time held such contracts simultaniously with the Klingon, Romulan, and Cardassian militaries; From: FERENGI-THE RACE THAT LIVES TO PROFIT; By the authors. After two years of normal operations, the Battlecruiser Warp engines are stripped down and rebuilt, and any improvements are installed at this time. The impulse engines are replaced after four years of operation, as it is not cost effective to rebuild them. SECURITY The security of the Imperial Dockyards is a constant concern to the military. The defense of the area is the responsibility of a special division of the BBA. The greatest threat is not from enemy warships, but from spies and saboteurs. Before employment is granted, all workers must be cleared by the BBA. At the slightest sign of inconsistency, employment is terminated, and so is the employee. If more than one daily message is sent to relatives and friends, they too are hunted down and terminated. "It is better to remove the whole arm and be sure of getting all the disease, than removing only one finger and losing the Warrior." - Kan Ada, Klingon Philosopher and Royal Advisor to Karas the Cruel. With the knowledge that the Ferengi were also employed by the Cardassian and Romulan militaries, the BBA made a special effort to keep track of Ferengi messages. It is believed that the Ferengi were behind the Dock explosion of 1658. Two newly completed Battlecruisers were destroyed, and another three heavily damaged by the blast. BBA agents tracked samples of the explosive to the cargo bay of a Ferengi freighter. The Ferengi government, not wanting to lose a valuable contract, extradited both the Captain and First officer back to Qo'noS. Their trial and manner of execution provided much amusement for the viewing public. A PORT FOR ANY STORM For a Klingon Battlecruiser on deep patrol, return to the Klingon home worlds was sometimes impractical or impossible. For this reason, the Klingon Admiralty built a series of repair facilities throughout the Empire. Orbiting colonized planets, the repair stations can accommodate two Battlecruisers or six Bird of Prey. These facilities can undertake all but the most elaborate of repairs. As an added bonus, the stations have limited Warp technology, thus if the ship cannot reach the base, the base can travel to the ship. APPENDIX 1 KLINGON TIME LINE The death of Kahless shall be used as the starting point for the Klingon Time Line. After First Contact between the Federation and Klingon Empire, Federation dates (in brackets) shall follow Klingon dates. 0 - Kahless the Unforgettable dies. 100 - 100 years of Clan wars. 110 - Flood destroys land of the Horf Clan. - Carness the trader seeks advice of spiritualist Banshak. - Banshak advises to settle in "the land of the blind" - Founding of the city of Koonadek 150 - Town of Koonadek becomes chief trading center of Qo'noS 182 - Trade disputes between Koonadek and the Tradesmen Guild of Galicia begin. 210 - Under the leadership of Mulrass, the Galicians lay siege to Koonadek. 211 - Koonadek burned to the ground. - City elders start rebuild. - Early warning tower constructed. - Holiday of Throwing Day initiated. 212 - Fortifications of rebuilt Koonadek complete. 213 - Tradesmen Guild attack Koonadek. - Guild's leader Mulrass killed. - Treaty of Volsnat signed. - Koonadek granted city status. 250 - Hundar appointed Lord Mayor of Koonadek. 252 - Establishment of Bureau of Barbarian affairs (BBA). - Establishment of the Klingon Academy of Commerce. 255 - BBA operation, Stillwaters, annihilates the Krug clan of the River Nexus. - BBA grant Hundar the nickname "hundar the Shrewd". - Village of Kedavedon destroyed by pirates. 275 - Hundar appoints Karas to be his adopted son and successor. - 10,000 km added to the greater Koonadek area. 280 - Hundar dies of "natural' causes. - Karas executes entire city Council. - Karas proclaims himself Prince of Koonadek. - Philosopher, Kan Ada become Royal advisor to Karas. 285 - Tradesmen Guild and Zarnian alliance advance toward Koonadek. - Karas's strategy deprives advancing army of supply needed to sustain war effort. - Trojnek joins the table of Karas. - Starving Guild/Zarnian armies wiped out by Karas troops. 292 - Karas's family killed by Marnian pirates. - Koonadek builds first maritime battlefleet. - Kara killed in an avalanche. - Trojnek seriously injured. - Kan Ada killed in battle. - Trojnek nursed back to health by the widow Lungta. - Trojnek proclaimed Prince of Koonadek. 298 - Andalusian spacecraft lands on Qo,noS. - Klansoff warns Klingons to be wary of the visitors. 299 - Andalusian invasion fleet leaves orbit and heads toward Qo,noS. 300 - Andalusian invasion force lands on Qo'Nos. - Koonadek falls after five hours. - Prince Trojnek dies while covering escape of family. - Councillor traff executed after he tries to assassinate the Andalusian Occupation Governor. - birth of the Klingon Resistance. 310 - Klingon Rebel forces take numerous cities. - Rebels attack Koonadek but are repulsed. - Siege of Koonadek begins. 311 - Andalusian reinforcements arrive. - siege is lifted. - Andalusians retake lost territory. - Strategy of attrition is adopted by Prince Koras. - Millions of Klingons taken off planet to be used as slave labour. 452 - Andalusian planet of Agnon 4, is taken by Klingon rebel forces. 717 - Klingon rebel forces retake 80% of Qo'noS. - Zarnia, Ossetia, and Galicia, fall to Andalusian General Kung. - Peace negotiations between Klingon rebels and Andalusia begin. 720 - General and his Division, betrayed, and put into cryogenic sleep. - Klingon Prince holds court in the Great Hall of Koonadek for the first time in 400 years. - Occupation ends. 725 - Andalusian and Klingons maintain a pseudo peace. - Andalusian populace learns that the Occupation was carried out to satisfy defense contractors. - Documentary on general Kung's disappearance is first broadcast on Andalusia. It contradicts the official Military reason for Kung's death. 730 - Jok Rabos becomes President of Andalusia. - Ultimatum sent to Qo'noS. - Andalusian messengers torn apart by the Council of Mothers of Slain Warriors. 732 - Second Andalusian invasion force lands on Qo'noS. - Andalusian battlefleet destroyed in Qo'noS orbit by Meteor storm. - Cut off without resupply, the Andalusian Military forces are destroyed on Qo'noS. - Andalusia resorts to war time economy. - Andalusian cities destroyed in riots. - Martial Law declared. 736 - Romulan-Andalusian War begins. - Armistice signed between Qo'noS and Andalusia. - Klingon Council adopts the Title of Emperor. - Proszac becomes the first Klingon Emperor. 739 - Romulans withdraw from Andalusian Dilithium system. - Peace treaty signed between Andalusia and Romulus. 745 - Start of Border incidents between Andalusia and Klingon empire. - Decline of Andalusian civilization. 1004 - Klingon forces occupy home world of Andalusia. - Emperor Gorf issues genocidal decree to be implemented against remnants of Andalusian society. - Bajoran diplomat, Valdo saves 24,000 Andalusians by issuing false passports. 1020 - Warbek the Pioneer is expelled from qo'noS after killing a fellow Warrior. - Warbek discovers and names Keroffon system. 1045 - Warboff, son of Warbek, discovers and names the B'Kerta system. 1065 - Jeroff the Explorer makes contact with Keroffon system. 1080 - Serboff, son of Jeroff, leads 10,000 colonists to B'Kerta system. 1205 - Emperor Syntar the Simple, dies without appointing a successor. - Makoffs of Agnon 4 and Hatforfs of Qo'noS, both put forward candidates for the Klingon Leadership. 1206 - The First Klingon Civil war begins. - BBA approaches Mining Admiral Rendras with the option to become Emperor. 1220 - Council decrees that the Clan that can add the most territory to the Empire, will have their candidate installed as Emperor. 1230 - Philosophy of Kan Ada becomes basis for Klingon Law and Foreign Policy. - Makoff and Hatforf Clans are executed for bringing great destruction to the Klingon Empire. - Admiral Rendras becomes Emperor. 1245 - Romulan-Klingon non-aggression pact is signed. - Daran system divided between both Empires. - Romulans plan invasion of Klingon Empire. 1249 - Romulans invade Klingon Empire. - Romulans gain control of 22 Klingon sectors. - Romulan commando team storms Koonadek Palace, but are taken prisoner. 1251 - Group of Andalusian females are found in cryogenic sleep, below Koonadek Palace. - Andalusian females and Romulan prisoners allowed to marry. 1260 - Romulan Admiral Kaprok assassinated by a BBA team. - BBA launch covert operations against Romulan forces. 1401 - Tirpock born on Remus. Later becomes Romulan Grand Admiral. 1432 - 183 year old Romulan-Klingon War comes to an end. - Daran system now in Klingon hands. 1435 - Race of Empires begins. - Birth of Andalusian Renaissance. 1440 - First Andalusian Military units are brought out of cryogenic sleep. Later incorporated into Klingon armed forces. 1450 - Ferengi-Cardassian trading mission attempts to kidnap Klingon Imperial Family. - Attempt fails and the captured Ferengi are skinned alive. 1451 - Ferengi Government issues a denial of responsibility. - Klingon Navy destroys Ferengi base at Valhalla. Ferengi battlefleet destroyed in the Galgen system. - Ferengi Governments for attempted kidnapping. Executes every third officer in its fleet. 1466 - Romulan Grand Admiral Tirpock takes charge of the Romulan naval fleet build-up. 1495 - Klingon Empire enters into an alliance with the Ferengi. - Romulans respond by entering into an alliance with the Cardassians. 1500 - Cardassian Sultan assassinated by BBA backed, Ferengi terrorists. - Second Romulan-Klingon War begins. 1510 - Klingon Battlefleet destroyed by Cardassian Forces in the Rigellion sector. - Cardassians bomb Qo'noS. 1511 - Romulan-Cardassian fleets blockade Klingon planets and space corridors. 1514 - Plans drawn up by the Klingons and Ferengi, for breaking the blockade. 1515 - Battle of Jutar. - 235 ships from both sides destroyed. - 50,000 personnel killed. - Klingons successful in breaking blockade. 1520 - Peace accord signed by all four parties. - Daran system left in Romulan hands. - Control over the Bajoran system granted to Cardassians. - Daran system explodes into open rebellion. - Darans approach Klingons for aid, but are turned away by Emperor Karf. 1521 - Daran southern capital of Morana, destroyed by Romulan nuclear attack. - 3.5 million Daran civilians killed. - Romulan occupation Governor tried and executed on Romulus. 1523 - BBA assassinates Romulan occupation Governor. - Start of 6 months of BBA backed covert operations against Romulans and Cardassians. 1524 - Remus capital of Bontas destroyed by BBA backed terrorist attack. - 14 million die in the nuclear attack. - Romulan Empress orders the execution of the entire Daran Intelligentsia. - Daran rebels assassinate Klingon Emperor Karf. 1525 - Beginning of the "Quiet Years". 1535 - Emperor Barneck modernizes the Klingon University system. - Emphasis on civil rather than military engineering. - Establishment of the first Klingon Archaeology Society. 1563 - Discovery of Andalusian computer records indicating the presence of cryogenicly buried sleepers. 1570 - Incorporation of the United Federation of Planets. (2161) 1585 - Romulan civil War between Remus and Romulus begins. 1589 - Discovery of General Kung and his lost Division in cryogenic sleep. - Discovery of Andalusian (Romulan designed) cloaking technology. 1591 - First cloaking equipped, Klingon Bird of Prey ready for trials. 1593 - BBA try to start war with Cardassia. Emperor Doorak refuses. - Klingons send peace delegation to Cardassia. 1595 - Koonadek Palace rocked by a series of explosions. - Emperor Doorak killed. - Offices of the Council of Elders heavily damaged. - BBA Director tried and executed for the bombings. 1596 - Klingon Warships invade Cardassian space. - New cloaking technology proves itself. 1598 - General Kung's Andalusian Division takes Cardassian capital of Cardass. - Kung is killed in the evacuation of Cardass, one month later. 1602 - Romulan Civil War ends after 17 years. 1606 - Cardassia and Klingon Empire, sign armistice. - Cardassia loses 25% of its Empire. 1610 - Klingon Empire makes proposal for first interstellar games. 1612 - First Remembrance games held on Andalusia. Games held in honour of General Kung. 1614 - Andalusian intelligence unit discovered in cryogenic sleep, 5000 m below Koonadek Palace. - Establishment of the Klingon Ministry forb Alien Space Technology. 1616 - BBA agents make first contact with the Federation. 1617 - Federation Ambassador, Tsu Hong, visits Qo'noS. (2218) - Emperor Horf misinterprets Federation Policy. - Start of 70 years of hostilities between the Federation and Klingon Empire. 1632 - Klingon Battlefleet moves into disputed solar system. (2223) - Klingon advantage in numbers is neutralized by Federation technology. 1633 - Emperor Horf is killed by his blind grandmother. (2224) 1635 - Armistice between Federation and Klingon Empire is signed (2226) in the great hall of Koonadek. - Beginning of Arms race. 1650 - Catros secures leadership of the planet Donatu V. (2241) - Klingon Military construct first strike military complex on Donatu V. - Klingon Ambassador, Berak, outlines his displeasure with Emperor Krushoff, to the Federation. - Federation begins blockade of Donatu V. - Federation first becomes aware of the existence of the Klingon BBA. - Klingons respond by destroying Federation decoy fleet. 1651 - Klingon fleet invades Shermans planet. (2242) - Federation counterattack destroys most of the Klingon Battlefleet. - Emperor Krushoff killed by enraged kindergartners, while walking in park. 1652 - Klingons dismantle Base on Donatu V. (2243) - Peace treaty signed between Federation and Klingon Empire. 1675 - Cloaking equipped, Romulan Warship, destroys three (2266) Federation outposts. - Federation Starship, Enterprise, intercepts and destroys the Romulan Warship. 1676 - Federation-Klingon Fleets prevented from engaging, by the (2267) advanced inhabitants of planet Organia. - Klingons attempt to poison wheat crop on Shermans planet. - Discovery of dead tribbles exposes the Klingon plan. - Klingons and Federation, arm primitive tribes with advanced weapons, on the planet Neural. - Establishment of Nimbus III, as the planet of Galactic peace. 1677 - Federation Officers, Spock and Kirk, steal Romulan (2268) cloaking device. - Federation-Klingon crewmembers defeat alien entity on board the Starship Enterprise. The entity was feeding of the negative energies produced by the two combating crews. 1680 - Three Klingon Battlecruisers destroyed by alien space (2271) probe called V'Ger. - V'Ger later identified as an alien modified, Voyager space probe, launched by NASA. 1686 - Emperor Mortif dies shortly after writing: (2277) "GREAT MILITARY LEADERS OF THE GALAXY". 1694 - BBA intercept reports of Federation Genesis project. (2285) - Commander Kruge sent to steal. - Kruge killed by Federation Admiral, James T Kirk. 1699 - Klingon cryogenic sleeper ship, T'Ong, launched. (2290) 1702 - Klingon moon of Praxi's explodes after engineers warnings (2293) go unheeded. - Klingon Chancellor, Gorkon, assassinated by hardliners from both the Federation and Klingon Militaries. - Conspiracy exposed, and Khitimer peace conference held. 1717 - Treaty renegotiation stalls over trade disputes, and (2318) deployment of border troops. - Emperor Doolarf plots to renew war with the Federation. - Doolarf's plans rejected by Klingon high Council and Chancellor T'Kruff. Relations maintained. 1749 - Present Federation Officer, Lt. Worf, born on Qo'noS. (2340) 1753 - Romulans attack Klingon outpost on Narendra III. (2344) - Federation Starship, Enterprise-C, intervenes and engages Romulans. - Discovery of RMRS-21 on Molloy L-7 - Federation ship Tally Ho, aided by BBA agent, Gowron, destroy base. - Dr,. Mengelek Ramus escapes. 1755 - Ja'rod of the Duras Family, provides defense access codes (2346) for Khitomer, to the Romulan Military. - 4000 Klingons killed in Romulan attack on Khitomer. - Klingon BBA agent, Mogh, killed, and later blamed for the attack. 1766 - Present Federation Officer, Lt.Worf, enters Starfleet (2357) Academy. He later becomes first Klingon to serve in Starfleet. 1774 - Lt.Worf, and Klingon Emissary, K'Ehleyr have a (2365) relationship, produce son, Alexander. - The crew of the Klingon ship, T'Ong, emerge from cryogenic sleep. - Ship forced to surrender by "Captain Worf" of the Starship Enterprise. 1775 - Investigation into the attack on Khitomer, 20 years (2366) before, begins on Qo'noS. - Duras Family accuse BBA agent, Mogh, of supplying access codes. - Mogh's sons, Worf, and Kurn, defend their father. - Worf discovers that Ja'rod was the guilty party, but the evidence is suppressed. - Worf accepts excommunication from the Klingon Empire. 1776 - 42 killed and 54 injured, at BBA Director, P'Krat's 30 (2367) year service party. - Klingon Chancellor, K'mpec, poisoned at same party. - Gowron and Ja'rod's son, Duras, compete for Klingon leadership. - At K'mpec's request, Federation Captain, Jean-Luc Picard, becomes Mediator in the dispute. - Chancellor K'mpec dies. - Klingon Emissary K'Ehleyr uncovers truth about Khitomer. She is silenced by Duras. - In an act of revenge, Lt.Worf kills Duras. - Gowron is appointed temporary leader. 1777 - Toral, son of Duras, challenges Gowron for the Klingon (2368) Leadership. - Romulans supply Duras family. - Federation Blockades Romulan supply fleet. - Worf resigns Starfleet commission, and joins forces of Gowron. - Duras Family defeated. - Toral exiled to Rura Penthe Mining prison. 1778 - Clone of Kahless the Unforgettable challenges Gowron for (2369) the Klingon Leadership. - Dispute settled by appointing Kahless, symbolic Emperor, and Gowron Chancellor. APPENDIX 2 THE KLINGON HIERARCHY The Klingon Empire was and remains an authoritarian bureaucracy. All executive power rests with the Chancellor (the position of Emperor now being symbolic), who has the right to appoint, dismiss, and more importantly, kill any subordinate. "Why waste time and resources on a resignation. One thrust of the sword solves all problems in seconds. No costly paper work, no two weeks notice, and more importantly more personal satisfaction. Admittedly, one can expect a grievance to be filed by the union." - Prince Karas the Cruel, outlining his philosophy on removing unsatisfactory subordinates. One of the main problems with such a system, is that if a mistake is made, and a military defeat suffered, the Emperor was open to criticism. To address the problem the token post of First Warrior was created in 1452. The First Warrior was, at least on paper, the second most powerful person in the Klingon government. But behind the scenes, the Emperor above, and the Military commanders below, new differently. The post had one important function, and that was to serve as a scapegoat in times of defeat. If a Naval defeat was suffered, all strategic decisions and blunders were placed at the feet of the First Warrior. A ten minute trial was held, and the "guilty" party was publicly executed. If the Klingon navy experienced a magnificent victory, then the Emperor received credit. The position of First Warrior was eliminated in 1702 (2293). Directly beneath the post of Chancellor, lies a hierarchy of positions, similar in organization to the Federation and Romulan militaries. The Council of Elders serves as the advisory panel to the Chancellor. Advice usually takes the form of "Yes your majesty". The Council of Mothers of Slain Warriors, takes a more active role, particulary in matters of military affairs. All Council members are former military officers, and have lost offspring to military service or through fishing. The Council receives the Chancellor's attention at a moments notice, as many a previous Chancellor (and Emperor) has "died with honour", after being late for a meeting with the Council members. Beneath the two Councils lies the admiralty Board, headed by the most senior admiral in the Klingon Navy. The Admiralty board is divided into two subdivisions; Fleet Operations, and Civilian Contracts. Fleet Operations include the actual running of the immense Klingon battle fleet. The Department of Civilian Contracts looks after such areas as Fleet supplies and general maintenance. Both Departments are supervised by a senior Admiral. FROM WARRIOR TO ADMIRAL The Klingon Battlecruiser is in some respects a microcosm of Klingon society. Pyramidal in shape, at the top we find the Emperor of the ship, the Captain. His or her every word is followed to the letter. Refusing to obey such an order means that the subordinate is "discharged" from the Navy, with the words "died gloriously in battle", entered into the log. Directly beneath the Captain, we find the other two senior officers, the First and second Officers. Both are eager for promotion, and every smart Captain knows it (187). (187)-Promotion in a Klingon Warship can take many forms. One path is to distinguish one's self in battle. The definition of the word "battle" has many meanings in the Klingon Navy. Second officers have a habit of testing their First Officer's qualifications. The testing routinely involves combat. The Captain remains impartial to such disputes, and in fact many a Klingon Captain has encouraged such conflicts, as they serve to keep the crew on edge. Few Klingon officers reach the Captaincy without first having dispatched one or two colleagues. A senior Admiral may have "dispatched" over a hundred officers on the route to Flag rank. In fact, promotion at the highest levels is usually based on numbers killed in "battle". (+100) SENIOR ADMIRAL (ADMIRALTY BOARD) I (+75) ADMIRAL .........(FLEET OPERATIONS) I (+10) CAPTAIN I (+5) FIRST OFFICER I (+2) SECOND OFFICER I------------- ENGINEERS CREW I I------- WEAPONS OFFICERS NUMBERS IN BRACKETS INDICATE NUMBER OF SUBORDINATES KILLED IN BATTLE THE KLINGON ARTICLES OF WAR The Klingon Articles of War were first drawn up by Emperor Rendras. Though slight modifications have been made down through the centuries, they remain much the same as when first proposed during the Klingon civil war. The Articles serve as law aboard Klingon warships. Altogether there are 30 articles, defining the major crimes which could be committed by a Klingon Warrior. The articles can be arranged into four broad categories. The first are offenses against the Emperor. Any warrior who speaks the Emperor's name in vain, or is deemed to be in violation of the Emperor's philosophies, will be "discharged" from the Navy. Second, crimes against the Klingon Government. These include: espionage, communicating with enemies of the Klingon Empire, and most importantly, paying too high a price to Ferengi traders; all punishable by death. Third, failure to commit crimes such as theft, assault, and murder, were punishable by death. A true Klingon warrior was expected to commit at least one of each during a routine patrol. Finally, there are military offenses such as refusing to kill an enemy, avoiding battle, crying for mercy, fainting at the sight of blood, and refusing to die in battle; all carry severe penalties. APPENDIX 3 THE ORGANIZATION OF THE BBA CHANCELLOR I JOINT CHIEFS...........COUNCIL OF ELDERS.......COUNCIL OF MOTHERS OF STAFF I OF SLAIN WARRIORS I BBA DIRECTOR I SPECIAL INSPECTORATE...........I...............SECRETARIAT I I .............................................................. I I I I I PERSONNEL I I SUBSTITUTE TEACHER I DIRECTORATE I I MOBILISATION I FINANCE AND I DIRECTORATE I PLANNING I ADMINISTRATIVE DIRECTORATE I AND SUPPLY I DIRECTORATE I I I I I I I I CHIEF DIRECTORATES I .............................................................. I I I I I BARBARIAN I I BORDER I INTELLIGENCE I I TROOPS I OUTLANDER I COMMUNICATIONS INTELLIGENCE I AND CRYPTOGRAPHY I I FIELD OPERATIONS JOB DESCRIPTIONS BBA Director - See Klingon Architecture. Special Inspectorate - Highly skilled BBA officers responsible for observing the construction of Military Ships and Installations. They have the right to intervene during construction, remove incompetent workers and union organizers, audit the books, and exile substandard coffee suppliers. Secretariat - Archival and Clerical staff responsible for operating the Central Office. They sort and compile secret information, access records, and analyze all reports from various BBA departments lower in the hierarchy. Unlike other departments of the Civil Service, all workers must pass an IQ test and provide proof that they are not the products of in-breeding. Personnel Directorate - Responsible for staffing needs, promotions, discipline, terminations, and transfers due to such reasons as: blood feuds involving co-workers, an angry wife bent on revenge, in-laws living nearby, a lack of desire to kill one's supervisor (a serious problem in the Klingon Postal System), and too much attention paid to personal hygiene. Finance and Planning Directorate - Responsible for all financial services within the Bureau. They are required to audit all BBA Residencies, and draw up and approve budgets for the same. They are responsible for overseeing all official government transactions with the Ferengi. Any workers found paying too high a price to the Ferengi, or receiving a kickback, will quickly find themselves working in a Klingon daycare centre. Cases of embezzlement are dealt with even more severely, and such individuals are forced to watch Public Television. Substitute Teacher Mobilization Directorate - Responsible for maintaining battle-readiness among substitute teachers. Current lists are kept for all territories within the Empire. The Directorate uses substitute teachers for diplomatic protection service, special investigations, and "wet affairs" (political assassinations, or depending on the season, tagging Zirch for the Government Fishery Department). They are also rotated as instructors in the various BBA training schools (188). (188) - Shortly after the alliance with the Federation, a BBA team was assigned to New York City's toughest school district. While the New York City Educational Authority considered their time on Earth an unqualified success (the Federation Civil Liberties Union (FCLU) held a different perspective), the BBA were forced to retire the entire team. As the BBA director at the time remarked, "They had gone insane from the boredom and routine. The kindest thing to do is to put the team in a Zirch pond and forget that they ever existed." Administrative and Supply Directorate - Responsible for all BBA equipment purchases, as well as their disposal. Maintenance of BBA arsenals, and the supplying of all BBA departments, is done through this directorate. Klingon sidearms and uniforms are constantly wearing out from staff 'meetings' and the daily routine of shipboard life. Therefore the BBA continually tries to obtain high standard phasers, and uniforms that do not hold blood stains. THE CHIEF DIRECTORATES Barbarian Intelligence - Responsible for observation of Barbarian activities of a military, economic and political nature. Counter- intelligence including sabotage, theft, and the assasination of enemy military officers and administrative personnel. This Directorate directs BBA teams in the field, setting goals, specifying limits, and most importantly, obtaining Romulan Ale duty free. Outlander Intelligence - Responsible for internal security and counter-intelligence. They suppress nationalist activities on conquered planets, shadow foreign nationals, document the activities of immigrants and refugees; and direct BBA team operations against: organized crime, enemy spy agencies, groups opposed to the Klingon Constitution, and Country and Western (C&W) Music Groups (1, 2). As Chancellor Gowron once remarked, "Country music is for Zirch larvae and Ferengi." (1) Despite Gowron's dislike of C&W music, and the Klingon Government's efforts to ban it, C&W music is alive and well throughout the Klingon Empire. The ancient Earth custom of line dancing is extremely popular (though getting 'out-of-line' can have fatal consequences), and is practiced in clandestine C&W clubs, that are frequented by Klingons from all walks of life. Wearing traditional cowboy garb (black stetsons are obligatory) and carrying side arms (which are used during the Fastest-Draw-in-the- West contests, held during the band's rest periods), Klingons like to get out on the floor with their significant other, and dance and fight the night away. Only ancient Earth C&W music is played, and human C&W cultural icons such as: Garth Brooks, Billy-Ray Cyrus, Tommy Hunter, Kenny Rodgers, the Judds, Dolly Parton, Randy Travis, Pam Tillis, Johnny Cash and Elmer Fudd are the all-time Klingon favorites. The song texts are usually done in standard Klingon, though English is often heard. The Klingon translations invariably show the influence of Klingon Culture. The most-frequently requested Klingon Line-Dancing song is "Achy-Breaky Heart," recorded by human artist Billy-Ray Cyrus (recent archaeological evidence indicates that Cyrus left C&W music shortly after this song was recorded, to become director of NASA during the Schwartzenegger Administration, but this information is merely speculative). The song texts, as far as Federation Folklore experts can determine, are: "Don't tell my heart! My achy-breaky heart! Tell your Aunt Louise, Tell anyone you please, Just don't tell my heart, My achy-breaky heart!" The Klingon version can be translated as follows: "I'm going to rip out your heart! Your achy-breaky heart! Hide with a cloaking device if you please, Use every dirty-trick up your sleeve, I'm going to rip out your heart! Your achy-breaky heart!" (2) C&W music is popular with other cultures, and the Ferengi recently adopted human artist Kenny Rodger's hit tune, 'The Gambler,' as the Ferengi National Anthem. Border Troops - Responsible for all Frontier Posts. They carry out security checks on all tourists and immigrants, investigate customs fraud and smuggling, and have the authority to arrest and execute pirates and tabloid journalists. The Border Troops' most important function is to confiscate alien icons offensive to Klingon Culture (189). (189) - Several cities were burned and thousands killed in the M'Toof riots of 1725. A popular Human toy was imported for sale on Qo'noS. The purple dinosaur, named "Barney," was reminiscent of the Klingon ice beast, the M'Toof, a symbol of evil. Simply being in the presence of such an icon can cause the viewer to be persecuted by the spirits of tormented, disembodied Obos. Only by burning the icon and the surrounding structures can harmony be restored and the Obos scattered. Interestingly, similar disturbances have been recorded among some humans exposed to the same toy during long space flights. Even the Ferengi refuse to transport Barney dolls, stating, "We'll carry narcotics, slaves, weapons, and stolen merchandise, but not those horrible Barney dolls! You have to draw the line somewhere." Communications and Cryptography - Responsible for securing all government and Military communication networks. Also carry out industrial espionage in the field of telecommunications, remote sensing, and computer storage. Required to decode all foreign diplomatic transmissions, and maintain data bases on all forms of alien communication. Members of this directorate get pay-TV for free. Field Operations - Responsible for carrying out espionage and information gathering. These specialists are highly-trained, usually multi-lingual, and generally desperate to put as much possible distance between themselves and their grandmothers. GLOSSARY 1 Historical Figures Andalusians - Lost race of Klingons who invaded and occupied Qo'noS early in its history. The Andalusian race was wiped out in the genocidal decree of Gorf the Methodical. Only survivors are those brought out of cryogenic sleep. Andalusians make up the largest minority group on Qo'noS. Antossia - Romulan Empress who in 1470 reorganized the Romulan Battlefleet in preparation for war with the Klingon Empire. Baggs, Eric - Federation Chief Chef. He has co-authored a number of best selling books including "PARASITES I HAVE KNOWN AND LOVED. The book is renowned for its treatment of Klingon dishes. Bajorans - Refugee group from the Home planet Bajor. The Bajorans at one time had an advanced civilization but were driven into exile by the conquering Cardassians. Banshak - Klingon Spiritualist who advised Carness of the Horf clan, to look for salvation in "The land of the blind". Barnek the Practical - Klingon Emperor, successor to Karf. He ordered the exile of all Daran refugees after Karf's assassination. He ordered the round up of all those responsible for Karf's death and killed them all in single combat. Barter, Ron - Federation Captain who advocated the use of atomic weapons in the Battle of Sherman's Planet. Though crucial to the success of Ramatullah's winning strategy, the move was highly controversial at the time. There was widespread revulsion to the use of atomics, which had caused devastation throughout Earth's solar system during the Rebellion of the Martian Colonies, a time in history known as the Atomic Horror. Capt. Barter commanded the USS Avalon, Sarejevo Class, during the battle for Sherman's Planet. The Avalon dropped the atomics into the planet's atmosphere, thus destroying the Klingon Birds of Prey. Barter was a hard-liner, and bitterly opposed the Federation's decision to adopt a policy of active containment. Barter believed that the Federation should exploit its position, and conquer the Klingon Empire. The USS Avalon disappeared during an exploratory mission, and its fate was a mystery until recently. The Avalon was badly damaged in a Klingon Ambush, and found by a Romulan Patrol. Barter and the surviving crew members were taken prisoner, and accepted Romulan Citizenship (the alternative was death). Barter rose to the rank of Admiral in the Romulan Navy, and founded the Romulan Marine Core, which is an elite group of shock troops. Barter married into the aristocracy, and his grandson, Jarek Barter, is first cousin to the Empress, and Secretary to the Imperial Council. Capt. Barter was the highest ranked serving Federation officer to ever defect. Admiral Barter was killed leading a Romulan Marine assault on a heavily fortified Klingon outpost. Beatock - Romulan Admiral who commanded the combined Cardassian- Romulan Fleets at the Battle of Jutar. Bennett, Dr. Gordon - Federation author who wrote the highly acclaimed "YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST LEARNED EACH OTHER'S NAMES". The text covers in great detail all the known Klingon infectious diseases. He also wrote a series of Pulitzer prize-winning children's books explaining the disease process, including: "THAT WILL TEACH YOU!", DON"T SNEEZE ON YOUR BROTHER'S PLATE", "WASH YOUR HANDS OR MR.TUMMY WILL GET MAD!", and "IT STARTS WITH A RASH, THEN YOUR EYE-BALLS POP OUT." Berak - Klingon Ambassador to the Federation in 1650 (2241). He was opposed to Emperor Krushoff's enthusiasm for war with the Federation. Bertaf - Klingon Chief Energy Inspector. He advised that unless the facilities on Praxi's were modernized, the complex would undergo catastrophe. His warning's went unheeded and the moon exploded. Bondar - Field operative for the BBA under Lord Mayor Hundar. Bondar carried out numerous raids, assassinations, and other covert operations. Bondorf - Klingon BBA Director during the First Klingon Civil War. He orchestrates the rise of Mining Admiral, Rendras to power. Booshoff - Klingon Finance Minister who was against the signing of the first Klingon-Romulan non-aggression treaty. Against his advise the treaty was signed and shortly there after the Romulans invaded. Breznak - Klingon Emperor and successor to Krushoff. Breznak signed a peace treaty with the Federation in 1652 (2243). A plateless Klingon, he ordered the Klingon Navy purged of the plated majority. This act resulted in the misconception by Starfleet officers that all Klingons appeared this way. Breznak's death saw the rule lifted and the Plated majority returned to the Navy. Breznak introduced the Human delicacies of Spam and prune juice to the Klingon Empire. Cardassian - Reptilian like race responsible for the annexing of the Bajoran home world. The Cardassians were aligned with the Romulans during the Second Klingon/Romulan War. a later conflict with the Klingon Empire resulted in much of the territory of the Dominion of Cardassia being annexed by the Klingon Empire. Carness - Trader of the Horf clan who, following the advise of the spiritualist, Banshak, discovered the site of modern day Koonadek. Cartwright - Starfleet Admiral who along with General Chang of the Klingon Military, plotted the assassination of Klingon Chancellor, Gorkon. Cartwright was against peace with the Klingon Empire, as such an ending to hostilities would reduce the role of the Federation Military. Cartwright was to be appointed Chairman of The San Francisco Building Yards. Chang - General Chang Was one of the Klingon Empires most devoted warriors. Against peace with the Federation, he plotted with Federation Admiral Cartwright to kill Klingon Chancellor Gorkon, and frame Captain James T Kirk. He died in battle fighting the Starships, Enterprise and Excelsior. Crotty, John - Eccentric Federation Admiral, who though retired, still finds time to guest lecture throughout the galaxy on his favourite topic of cultural differences in etiquette. Admiral Crotty wrote the Pulitzer prize winning "I DIDN'T ASK, AND HAVE NO INTENTIONS TO". The book is considered the definitive study on Klingon Manners. He has since followed up with an even more successful book (now in its third printing) on Klingon Hospitality, titled, "OH NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!" He is presently living with Klingon Sex Therapist, Dr. Ruuf. His wife is looking for both of them. She is not amused. Cowan, Gary - Federation Chief Chef, who along with Eric Baggs, wrote the ultimate book on Klingon Cuisine, "PARASITES I HAVE KNOWN AND LOVED". Recently imprisoned for conspiring to import Romulan Ale. Their case is pending. Daltek - A Romulan disciple of Kalmek, he was one of the founders of the covert intelligence agency, Den Tar. Dar, Trik - Andalusian President who was coerced by military contractors into invading the Klingon home world of Qo'noS. Darans - Refugee group similar in history to the Bajorans. The Darans were a humanoid race that had a long tradition of democracy and neutrality. They had existed without conflict between their Andalusian and Dromedan neighbours, and 4 other lesser powers, for centuries. In 1230 they found themselves between two powerful Empires, the Romulans and the Klingons. The Daran system was located between the two large Empires, and thus was a strategic route between both. Driven from their home planet by the Romulans, they settled on planets throughout the sector. Much interbreeding with other races has all but eliminated the pure Daran gene pool. Darff - Klingon Leadership candidate nominated by the Makoff clan of Agnon 4. Darff, along with his rival, Gustaf, contested for the Klingon Emperorship producing the First Klingon Civil War in 1154. Doolarf - Klingon Emperor who plotted renewed war with the Federation in 1725 (2316). His proposals were rejected, and peaceful relations continued. Doorak the Thoughtful - Klingon Emperor devoted to the development and use of ancient Andalusian technology. Dorfmik - One of the group of seven medical researchers on RMRS-21. Under the leadership of Dr. Mengelek Ramus, Dorfmik performed some of the most gruesome medical experiments in Romulan/Klingon history. Arrested and tried on Romulus, Dorfmik was executed by the female relatives of his victims. Duff - Council member during the reign of Karas. She was publicly executed in the town square. The method of execution was impaling. Duras - Son of Ja'rod, he contested for the Klingon Leadership upon the death of K'mpec. Duras's family had poisoned the previous leader in an attempt to replace him with their own representative. After killing Klingon Emissary to the Federation, K'Ehleyr, Duras was slain by Lt. Worf of the Starship Enterprise. Eichmar, Von - A career bureaucrat in the Romulan Government, He organized the transportation of Romulan citizens to RMRS-21, for medical experiments. He was secretly a member of the Den Tar. Embleton, Phil- Noted linguist and author, Mr. Embleton boasts numerous academic awards and degrees (PUBLISHERS' NOTE - These are only boasts, none of the institutions listed have any record of Mr. Embleton's attendance, and a few of the institutions listed don't exist). Upon his entrance to StarFleet Academy, Mr. Embleton met Mr. Thorne, and these two students quickly impressed their instructors with their rapid progress (PUBLISHERS'NOTE - The only progress made was from misdemeamors to Grand Theft, for further details see Thorne, Gerard, or Dr. Elliot Leyton's text on Interstellar Criminology, "GREAT CRIMINAL MINDS (WITH THE EXCEPTION OF TWO IDIOTS) OF THE FEDERATION."). Ferengi - Short statured, big eared race, that roam the galaxy with one goal, to make profit. They would sell their own grandmother for the right price. They have a habit of supplying both sides in a war, even when they compose one of the sides involved. Franrek - Romulan Governor of the occupied Daran home planet, he supervised the genocide of millions of Daran civilians. Gardener, Grant - Biologist who first developed and patented the species of plants (Division Myxomycota, Genus Gardenera) known as Green Animal Women, in 2020. In 2021 Dr. Gardener was awarded the Nobel Prize in Recreational Science. Dr. Gardener left academia in 2022, and later became a successful game show host and tabloid journalist. He was a notorious ladies' man, and died at the age of 150, when he was shot by a jealous husband. Garrett, Rachel - Federation Captain who sacrificed her starship, the U.S.S. Enterprise (NCC-1701 C) defending a Klingon outpost on Narendra III from the Romulans. The act helped speed up peace negotiations between the Federation and Klingon Empires. Gerkof - Romulusian Guard Commander who uncovered the BBA plot to kill Emperor Doorak. His investigation resulted in the arrest and execution of the BBA Director. Gorf the Methodical - Klingon Emperor whose genocidal decree wiped out the Remnants of the Andalusian race. Gorkon - After the explosion of Praxi's, Klingon Chancellor Gorkon approached the Federation with a proposal of peace. He was assassinated by military die hards from both sides. His daughter assumed the leadership and continued Gorkon's intentions. Gowron - Following the poisoning of High Council leader K'mpec, two candidates contested for the position, Duras son of Ja'rod, and Gowron son of M'Rel. To cover up his father's treachery, Duras kills Klingon emissary K'Ehleyr. For this act, Duras would be killed by Lt. Worf, son of the man, Duras tried to frame. Gustaf - Candidate for the Emperorship nominated by the Hatforf clan. He would contest with Darff of the Makaff clan. The power struggle would produce the First Klingon Civil War. Halsef - Andalusian Admiral whose advice about the potential dangers of the Klingon meteor showers, went unheeded. Most of the invading Andalusian Battlefleet was destroyed. Hertack - Romulan Spaceport security chief. He was responsible for apprehending the assassin of the Cardassian Sultan on Romulus. Honerk - Leader of a reactionary Bajoran group. Evidence suggests that Honerk is really Dr. Mengelek Ramus, also known as "Ramus the Butcher". Himtrik - One of the group of seven medical researchers on RMRS-21. Under the leadership of Dr. Mengelek Ramus, Himtrik performed some of the most gruesome medical experiments in Romulan/Klingon history. Arrested and tried on Romulus, Himtrik was executed by the female relatives of her victims. Hong, Tsue - First human to make contact with the Klingon Empire. Ambassador Hong explained to Emperor Horf the policy of the Federation. Because of a lack of understanding of the others cultures, both sides were set on the road to over 70 years of hostilities. Horf clan - Band of Klingons that lived around 110. The destruction of much of their land by floods, resulted in the discovery of Koonadek by the trader Carness. Horf the Brutal - Klingon Emperor who made first contact with the Federation. His title "brutal" came about after he sentenced an entire university graduating class to an orbital prison. The students made the mistake of questioning the role of the monarchy in Klingon society. Horf's misguided view of the Federation was a catalyst for the beginning of hostilities between the two. Horf was beaten to death by his blind grandmother (with her white cane) after Horf made the mistake of striking her after she criticized his military inadequacies. Hundar the shrewd - First Lord Mayor of Koonadek. Hundar was the first in a long line of Emperors, although the term was not used in Hundar's time. His most important act was to establish the Bureau of Barbarian Affairs (BBA). Huroff the Wise - Chief of the Council of Elders in 1230. He helped establish and organize the Klingon constitution, based on the writings of Klingon philosopher Kan Ada. Jarek - Disliked commander of the Romulan Navy in 736. He persuaded the Romulan Empress to attack Andalusian Dilithium storage depots. The raids resulted in War between the two nations. Ja'rod - Klingon conspirator who gave the Romulans the defense access codes to Khitomer in 1755 (2346). The attacking Romulans killed over four thousand Klingon civilians. His son, Duras would try to place the blame on BBA agent Mogh. Out of revenge, Mogh's son Worf would kill Duras in single, warrior to warrior combat. Jeroff the Explorer - One of the Klingon Empire's greatest explorers. He would lead the descendants of Warbek back to the Klingon home world. Jonek, Dr. - Romulan physicist responsible for the development of the cloaking device. He was killed by an Andalusian commando team during the Andalusian-Romulan War of the 730's. His theories still serve as the basis for all modern cloaking technology. Jones, Cyrano - Former member of the Federation Senate. He was forced to resign after he was caught accepting bribes, telling lies, running an escort service, embezzlement, and cheating on his wife. He was re-elected by a landslide and became chairman of the Senate Finance Committee. After he left politics he became a successful literary agent and publisher. Jones is best remembered as the trader who imported Tribbles into Federation sectors. Kahless the Unforgettable - Considered the Father of the Klingon warrior. He united the various Klingon tribes in Qo'noS's past. Kahless was ruthless even by Klingon standards. He fought his brother Morath for 12 days and nights, because Morath had brought dishonour on the Family. In 1778 (2369) a clone of Kahless stepped forward and demanded to be made leader of the Klingon Empire. A compromise was reached, with Kahless assuming the title of Emperor, with symbolic spiritual powers. Gowron remained as Chancellor and head of the High Council. Kalmek - Romulan divine figure who wrote the 7th book of prophecy. Kan Ada - Klingon philosopher and advisor to Karas the Cruel. Kan Ada's writings serve as the basis for much of Klingon law. His ideology is interwoven into the Klingon constitution. Kang - Only Klingon ever to take partial control of a Federation Starship. Kang and his wife Mara were members of a small band of Klingons that survived the destruction of their Battlecruiser. An alien entity had forced humans and Klingons to fight in order to stir up violent emotions. The entity was sustained by these negative feelings. Kan, Prince - Son of slain Klingon Emperor, Trojnek. Kan continued his father's fight against the occupying Andalusians. Kaprok, Tojnek - Popular Admiral in the Romulan Navy during the First Romulan-Klingon War. He advised against the war saying that, while there would be initial success, the greater Klingon numbers would defeat the Romulan cause. Kaprok was assassinated by the BBA in 1260. Karas the Cruel - Adopted son of Emperor Hundar. Karas was originally sent to assassinate Hundar. Persuaded by Hundar to join his table, Karas would succeed his father upon his death. Karas was killed in 292, by an avalanche in Narnia while leading an invasion force. Karf the Cautious - Klingon Emperor in 1495. His most famous act was to enter into an alliance with the Ferengi. The deed would be the catalyst for the Second Romulan-Klingon War. K'Ehleyr - Klingon Emissary to the Federation. Among her operations were the T'Ong incident of 1774 (2365), and the exposing of the Duras Family plot in 1776 (2367). The uncovering of which resulted in her murder. Before her death she had produced a son, Alexander. The boy's father is Lt.Worf, Chief security Officer of the Starship Enterprise. Kernorf - Klingon Admiral who was defeated by the Cardassians in the Rigellion sector, during the opening stages to the Second Romulan-Klingon War. Klansof - BBA director during the reign of Trojnek. Klansof had foreseen the invasion of the Andalusians. His warnings were ignored and the developing Klingon nation was overrun with relative ease. To combat the invaders, klansof had set up a network of resistance fighters whose long term goal was the liberation of Qo'noS. Klansof's war of attrition finally paid off in 732. Klingon - Race of Humanoids from the home world of Qo'noS. They are believed to have originated in a far of solar system. Early in their history the Klingon race split into two factions. The Andalusian branch progressed more rapidly than their Klingon brothers, and they used their advanced technology to occupy Qo'noS for nearly 700 years. Today the Klingon Empire is an ally of the Federation, although the relationship was preceded by a 70 year period of hostility. Kirk, James T. Federation Starfleet Captain. Born in 1642 (2233), Captain Kirk commanded the U.S.S Enterprise (NCC-1701) for most of his career. His promotion to Admiral was short lived as he stole the Enterprise for personal business. Demoted to Captain, he was given Command of the new Enterprise (NCC-1701-A). His career was highlighted by many confrontations with Klingon Military personnel. Accused of murdering Klingon Chancellor Gorkon in 1702 (2293), Kirk was later cleared of the charges and helped uncover the real conspirators. Founded a 'wild-life' sanctuary for Green-Animal women on Rigel-4. Kissang, Henrik - Advisor to Andalusian President, Trik Dar, Kissang was a strong supporter of the occupation of Qo'noS. His political power was based on support from large Defense contractors. K'mpec - Klingon High Council Leader who was poisoned by the Family of Duras. K'mpec upon learning of his forthcoming death, appointed Federation Captain, Jean-Luc Picard, as mediator for the contesting Leadership hopefuls. Koloth - Klingon Navy Captain who attempted to poison the wheat on Sherman's planet. His operation was foiled by small fury creatures called tribbles. The dead tribbles, found in wheat silos on board an orbiting space station, had alerted Federation personnel. Koloth died on Qo'noS after being attacked by 23 enraged tribbles after he made the mistake of stepping on a juvenile tribble. Koras, Prince - Successor to Prince Kan, Koras adopted the strategy of attrition against the occupying Andalusians. Korotkov, Dr. David - Federation outcast, misfit and oddball. Dr. Korotkov authored a number of well-received books on Klingon social psychology. His most famous was "I'M OKAY, YOU'RE IN PAIN" Dr. Korotkov is presently serving time at the Rura Penthe Dilithium Mines. He was apprehended "leaving" the residence of the Chancellor's 18 year old daughter at 2:30 in the morning. She had tossed him out of the upstairs balcony window. Kraf, Kur - First Andalusian to set foot on Qo'noS. Kraf was a member of the expeditionary force that was sent to Qo'noS to determine the strength of Klingon defenses. Krell - BBA operative who armed selected tribes on the planet Neural, with advanced weapons. His attempt at long term interference was foiled by Captain James T Kirk. Kroff - Klingon Admiral Kroff, violently opposed the development and use of Romulan designed cloaking technology. Only after his ship was the first victim of a cloaked ship, during war games, did Kroff withdraw his protests. Kruge - Klingon Bird of Prey Commander who attempted to steal the Federation's Genesis device. Kruge unknowingly killed Admiral Kirk's son in the bid. Kirk tasted revenge shortly thereafter when he killed Kruge on the Genesis planet. Krushoff - Considered the least effective of the Klingon Empire's great line of leaders. Krushoff took advice from no one, and all decisions were his and his alone. As a result he underestimated Federation resolve and military strength. He ordered the construction of a First-Strike Base on Donatu-V, which led to War with the Federation. The Klingon Battle Fleet was destroyed in the Battle for Sherman's Planet. Krushoff was killed by a group of Kindergarteners in a park in Koonadek, after he made the mistake of crushing the ball they were playing with. K'Temok - Captain of the klingon sleeper ship, T'Ong. Captain K'Temok and his crew were put into cryogenic sleep in 1699 (2290), and sent on a secret BBA mission. Reemerging 75 years later, they did not realize that relations between the two former enemies had warmed. Before the crew could resume hostilities, the U.S.S Enterprise intercepted them, where "Captain Worf" ordered them to terminate their mission. Kung - Famous Andalusian General during the Andalusian Occupation. Kung's popularity with the common soldier caused resentment at the upper levels. As a result Kung and his entire division were secretly put into cryogenic sleep in 720. During an archaeology expedition in 1589, Kung and his entire Division were brought out of cryogenic sleep. Kung lead the ground attack on Cardass during the Klingon-Cardassian War. Kung died while rescuing a wounded soldier during the evacuation of the capitol. His most famous quote was also his personal motto, "I never left anyone behind." Kurn - Son of BBA agent Mogh, and brother to Lt.Worf, Kurn was on Qo'noS when his parents were killed on Khitomer by the attacking Romulans. His brother Worf did not know of his existence for 20 years. When their father Mogh was falsely accused of conspiring with the Romulans, Kurn contacted Worf, and together they helped clear their father's name. Lee, Robert - Captain of the Federation attack ship Tally Ho. Captain Lee delegated responsibility for the attack on RMRS-21, to his First and Second Officers. During the assault, First Officer O'Brien was killed, but Second Officer Picard successfully carried out the raid. Leona - Romulan Empress obsessed with the destruction of the Klingon Empire. She proposed occupation of the Daran Alliance as the stepping stone to this goal. She ordered the death of millions of Daran civilians, after the nuclear attack on Remus. Perhaps the most despised of all the Romulan Empresses, she was pathologically cruel. She never missed an opportunity to humiliate her underlings. During one notable annual address to the Empire, during which she berated the entire population for stupidity and incompetence, and had ordered the execution of hundreds of officials, she made her now famous quote: "What do you idiots think I'm running here anyway? An Empire or a Hotel Chain?" Lungta - The avalanche that killed Karas, also seriously injured his adopted son, Trojnek. Lungta discovered the fallen warrior, and nursed him back to health. upon his recovery, Trojnek made her his wife. After Trojnek's death at the hands of the Andalusians, Lungta carried on his policy of resistance by attrition. Mahorf - Klingon Admiral who wrote the text "THE INFLUENCE OF SPACEFLEET POWER ON EMPIRE EXPANSION." The book was very influential in Romulan Military circles. Maltz - Surviving member of the BBA team that attempted to seize the Genesis Project. Maltz helped to write the first Klingon/English dictionary. Maltz had an incurable form of Fertizone disease, causing him to become progressively gentler with age. He married a human and had nine children. Maltz remained on Earth for the rest of his life. His fondness for animals led him to open an exotic pet store. Still grieving over the loss of his beloved Snookums (his pet hamster that Kruge ate), he wrote the blockbuster children's book, "PLAY NICE, DON'T EAT SOMEONE ELSE'S HAMSTER!" This was followed by a series of children's books that made Maltz a very wealthy man. Maltz was still unhappy, and sought therapy. He finally decided to purge his pain by putting his feelings on paper. This produced the inter-planetary best seller, "HAMSTER-BUDDY." It was a collection of poems, dedicated to Snookums, that detailed how Maltz's personal development and spiritual understanding of the universe grew through his friendship with Snookums. This book became a successful Broadway Musical, but the critics were less than kind. Comments ranged from; "To bad Kruge only ate Snookums..." to "...a good thing we cured diabetes, because this show would put people into sugar shock! Get a grip! We're talking about a HAMSTER! Is it too late to send Maltz back to Qo'noS?" Maltz died at the age of 88, of a broken heart (literally) after watching the ending of the classic film, "E.T." (which, generally unknown at the time of its making, was based on a true story). Maltz's wife gave the best assessment of her husband at his funeral: "...Maltz was a loving husband, an attentive father, all in all a kind and gentle man, but socially, well, to be totally honest, he was a complete wiener..." Mar, Damin - Ferengi trader who spent many years contracting with the Klingon Empire. He wrote a number of books which gave a colourful insight into Klingon society. Markef - BBA Director responsible for organizing the assassination of Emperor Doorak. Markef was a military hardliner who promoted war with Cardassia in order to test out the latest in military technology. He was later arrested and executed for the crime. McKim, Dr Bill - Federation psychologist specializing in alien pharmaceuticals. He wrote the well received "I KNOW IT HURTS, BUT SO WHAT?". The text is considered the bible of Klingon psychopharmaceuticals. He was arrested along with Cowan and Baggs, when an illicit supply of Romulan Ale was found in his University Office. His claim that "...it fell off the back of a shuttle," fell on deaf ears. Despite his attempts to drink the evidence, he was still found guilty. He escaped from prison and is still at large. Anyone seeing a man of medium build, light-brown hair, and behaving very foolishly, should contact the nearest detachment of the Federation Constabulary. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Mero, Glin - Cardassian head of weapons research on the occupied planet of Bajor. Mero placed no value on Bajoran life; his only goal was supplying the Cardassian Military with the highest grade weapons. Mirtof - Klingon Emperor, successor to Breznak. Mirtof was responsible for the incident with the Federation at Organia. His plan was based on the assumption that the Organians were a primitively developed society. When the Klingon Empire and the Federation fleets prepared for war, the Organians showed their true form, preventing the two armadas from engaging. M'Krut - Klingon ambassador to the Federation. Initially a devoted antagonist to Federation policies, he altered his opinion following the incident at Narendra III. The intervention of the Starship Enterprise saved his grandchildren from the attacking Romulans. Following the incident he would devote the remainder of his life to promoting peace with the Federation. Mogh - BBA agent and father of Lt. Worf and Commander Kurn. Mogh followed Ja'rod to Khitomer in 1755 (2346). Killed by the attacking Romulans, Mogh was posthumously charged with supplying the Klingon access codes to the Romulans. the charges were made by Ja'rod's son Duras. Ja'rod was the real guilty party. Mogh's sons Worf and Kurn cleared their father's name 20 years later. Molloy, David - Federation Geologist who first surveyed the planet which now carries his name. Molloy L-7 was to be the site for the Romulan research station of RMRS-21. Molloy was a famous playboy, whose riches were only equalled by his love of good times and rocks. A brilliant geologist who left a trail of broken hearts across the quadrant, his motto was, "First we find the ore, then we Party!" Molloy was last seen partying near the newly discovered wormhole, close to Deep Space Nine. His last message was, "Send more Romulan Ale." Moloff - Klingon Foreign minister to Romulus in 1244. Morath - The brother to Kahless the Unforgettable. Morath and Kahless fought for 12 days and nights after Morath brought dishonour to their family. Moroff - Klingon Emperor responsible for sending the cryogenic sleeper ship on its 75 year journey. Mortif - Klingon Emperor who wrote "FAMOUS MILITARY LEADERS OF THE GALAXY". For security reasons, the book was not published until 100 years after Mortif's death. Mudd, Harry - Originally a travelling salesman, Mudd established a reputation for business sense and independence. Always opposed to the government regulation of inter-planetary commerce, Mudd entered Federation politics as "the People's Man." Using grassroots support, Mudd was elected to the Federation Senate. Mudd made public service his life-long career, and served as Chairman of the Senate Ethics committee for over 40 years. Despite earlier misunderstandings, Mudd and Kirk later became good friends when they discovered a mutual interest in gardening. It was Mudd who led the official inquiry into the St.John's Incident, the site of a notorious StarFleet Conference marred by: the placing of wads of chewing gum on delegates' seats, the use of supersoakers during group discussions, the placing of 'Kick-Me!' signs on the backs of Federation Admirals and hotel staff, belching contests during official speeches, paper airplanes being thrown from hotel windows (despite the anti-littering notices posted throughout the hotel), the breaking of curfew, running in the corridors, playing loud music in the hotel rooms, Green Animal Women running about the lobby, and several illegal-bingo games that were held by the delegates. Mudd managed to cover-up Kirk's involvement, the hotel was reimbursed for damages, and the entire affair largely attributed to the strong coffee served at the hotel dining room; the coffee was later replaced with decaffinated. The incident was also believed to be caused by the composition of the delegates, who had an average age of 13. As a result the age of admission to StarFleet Academy was raised to 19. Mudd, who's own limousine was toilet-papered at the conference, told the press: "Everything was fine until the cadets got into the coffee! Really, I'm sure they meant no offense when they mooned the Klingon Ambassador..." Mulrass - Leader of the Galicians in 210. He burned the City of Koonadek to the ground in 211. Nanzik - One of the group of seven medical researchers on RMRS-21. Under the leadership of Dr. Mengelek Ramus, Nanzik performed some of the most gruesome medical experiments in Romulan/Klingon history. Arrested and tried on Romulus, Nanzik was executed by the female relatives of his victims. Ness - BBA Director who continuously questioned Emperor Krushoff's incompetent decisions. His strongest argument was that the Federation should not be taken too lightly. Nimitof - Andalusian Admiral who led the first assaults on Qo'noS in 300. Nookla the Difficult - Chief architect to the Klingon Emperor and Dean of Architecture at Qo'noS University. A Klingon of Andalusian descent, Nookla rose to the top of her profession by "eliminating" other faculty members. Bad attitude, but she has tenure. Noorn - Romulan General who married Federation Security Chief Tasha Yar. Reports indicate that Yar survived the Enterprise's destruction at Narendra III. She had gone back through a time rift from 1776 (2367) to 1753 (2344). Her life was spared on the condition that she marry General Noorn. The union produced a daughter Sela. O'Neef - Klingon Councillor during the reign of Karas. Along with Councillor's Duff and Wellas, O'Neef was publicly executed in Koonadek's town square. Picard, Jean-Luc - Presently Captain of the U.S.S Enterprise. He was born 1714 (2305) in the city of Paris on the Planet Earth. As Second Officer of the Tally Ho during the liberation of RMRS-21, Picard was "adopted" by a number of very influential Klingon families. As a result, he is now third in line to the Klingon Throne. Pressman, Michael - Former Federation Admiral who was court- martialed for violating the Prime Directive, by directing the development of a Solid-Phase Cloaking Device (SPCD). Pressman was convicted largely on the testimony of Commander Will Riker, who testified for the prosecution in exchange for immunity (This in itself was considered by others to be a miscarriage of justice. Many legal experts and Federation officers believed that Riker should also have been court-martialed for his role in this affair. Riker explained that his failure to cooperate with the Inquiry into the loss of the USS Pegasus, and his subsequent 12 years of silence, was the result of his being ordered to do so. As every Federation officer knows, any order that directly or indirectly violates the Prime Directive, is an illegal order and must be disobeyed. It is widely believed that it was Capt. Picard's personal intervention with StarFleet Command that saved Riker's career). Pressman was stripped of all rank and sentenced to 20 years at hard labor (of the others involved in this conspiracy, two were demoted and retired, eleven testified for the prosecution, and six were pardoned, only Pressman went to jail). Pressman's wife, already depressed over the loss of their only daughter (a junior officer aboard the USS Tiennaman, which was lost with all hands fighting the Borg), committed suicide. Pressman swore he would take vengeance on Riker and the Federation. Pressman escaped from prison, and defected to the Romulans, taking valuable SPCD research with him. He also identified top Federation operatives, who were publically executed on Romulus, thus severely damaging Federation Intelligence activities. The Federation has issued a Shoot-to-Kill order to stop Pressman. Proszac the Melancholy - The first Klingon Emperor. He signed an armistice with Andalusia in 730. Rabinowitz, Avram, Lt. - Federation Officer who led the Behavioral Science Unit that produced the insightful personality profile on Krushoff the Stupid. Lt. Rabinowitz served as weapons officer aboard the USS Avalon in the Battle of Sherman's Planet. After the War, Rabinowitz received permission from Klingon Emperor Breznak to study the Zirch in its natural surroundings, on Qo'noS. Rabinowitz wrote a series of behavioral studies, which were published in leading Scientific Journals (New England Journal Of Medicine, Klingon National Geographic, The Lancet, The New York Post, Scientific American, and the National Enquirer). His studies supported his theory that the Zirch could be domesticated. Rabinowitz was killed trying to housebreak his pet Zirch, Rusty. Rabos, Jok - Andalusian president who attempted a second invasion of Qo'noS in 732. Ignoring the advice of Admiral Halsef, he ordered the Battlefleet to maintain orbit around Qo'noS during the annual Meteor storms. Most of the fleet was destroyed and the ground forces, cut off without supply, were annihilated. Ramatulla - Federation Admiral during the incident at Sherman's Planet. After retiring he purchased the syndicated Klingon rights to the popular 20th century series, "The Brady Bunch." Ramatulla went broke shortly afterwards. Ramus, Dr. Mengelek - Also known as "Ramus the Butcher", Mengelek organized and carried out some of the most barbaric medical experiments in the Galaxy's history. Dr. Ramus was one of seven (the group of seven) medical researchers stationed on RMRS-21. Their research focused on comparing the physiologies of Klingons and Romulans. Most of their subjects died as a result of the experiments. Ramus was the only one to escape the attack by the Tally Ho. He is believed to be living in a Bajoran refugee camp under the name of Honerk. Ramus, Mafo - Bajoran medical officer and grandfather of Dr Mengelek Ramus. Reagnok - Pacifist Klingon Emperor in 1244. Reagnok strived for a peaceful coexistence with the Romulans. His good intentions were taken advantage of by the Romulans. Rendras - The most powerful Klingon mining admiral during the great age of exploration. With the help of the BBA, Rendras would become Emperor in 1230. Rikken - Romulan Ambassador to Klingon in 1244. Romulans - An offshoot of the Vulcan race, the Romulans have not learned to repress their warlike emotions, in fact they have made it an art form. More refined than Klingons, Romulans have refused to enter into peace negotiations with the Federation. The Romulan home worlds are the twin planets, Romulus and Remus. Developers of the cloaking device, the Romulan Navy uses warships reminiscent of great birds of prey. Romulusian Guards - Descendants of the Andalusian women who were brought out of cryogenic sleep, and the Romulan prisoners captured during the first Romulan-Klingon War. The Romulusian Guards are the official bodyguards for the Klingon Emperor. Romulusian Guards may marry Andalusians, but they are forbidden from marrying Klingons. Rondar the Ruthless - Klingon Emperor in 1451. Surviving a Ferengi terrorist attack, he ordered the Klingon Battlefleet to attack the Ferengi base at Valhalla. Sarek - Federation Ambassador of Vulcan descent. He regularly mediated disputes between the Federation and Klingon empire. He was father of Ambassador Spock. He died in 1777 (2368). Schorf - Klingon Admiral who commanded the combined Ferengi/Klingon fleets at the battle of jutar. Sela, General - Youngest General in Romulan Military history. She is the daughter of General Noorn and Federation prisoner Tasha Yar. She commanded the Romulan supply fleet during the Second Klingon Civil War. Serboff - Son of Jeroff the Explorer. In 1045 Serboff led the first colonists to Warboffs newly discovered 3M planet solar system. Shanthi - Starfleet Admiral who ordered Captain Jean-Luc Picard to take command of a battlefleet and cut the Romulan supply line to the Duras Family. Sorf, Alik - Andalusian infantryman who wrote about his life in the military during the Andalusian occupation of Qo'noS. After being revived, he settled into a new life on the Klingon home planet. Spock, Ambassador - Currently serving as a Federation ambassador. Spock started his career with StarFleet, rising to the rank of Captain and commanding the first Starship Enterprise. Ambassador Spock played a major role in the peace negotiations between the Federation and Klingon Empire. In recent years he has been organizing a movement to unite the Romulan Empire and Vulcan Home world. Stornoff - BBA operative who masterminded the assassination of Romulan Admiral Kaprok in 1260. Syntar the Simple - In 1154 Emperor Syntar died without appointing an heir. A struggle took place for the leadership, resulting in civil war. Tam, Dr. Peter - Federation author and lecturer at the Vulcan Academy of Science. Dr Tam wrote the best selling book "LEARN TO SPEAK KLINGON, OR JUST SMELL LIKE ONE." His most famous work is the development of the "emotional label, scratch and sniff system." Thorne, Gerard - Computer Specialist and author, Mr. Thorne spent most of his early years studying under government scholarships (PUBLISHERS' NOTE - Prison study programs are government-funded, but they are not usually referred to as scholarships). Obtaining a very high academic average, Mr. Thorne was accepted into the Academy.(PUBLISHER'S NOTE - Mr. Thorne broke into the Academy's main computer, and rewrote his transcript.) There Mr. Thorne met Mr. Embleton, where they made rapid progress in their studies. (PUBLISHERS'NOTE - They were caught plagiarizing papers, stealing exams, and selling Federation property (including several Shuttles) to the Ferengi.) They were given extended leave to take part in a Federation Intelligence Operation. (PUBLISHERS' NOTE - They were imprisoned in the Federation Stockade. While awaiting court-martial they managed to secure work in the Prison Hydroponics Lab. A riot ensued after a mob of Green Animal Women (Gardenera partyheartyis) were released into the male prison population of 165. During this time Mr. Thorne and Mr. Embleton tied up the Warden, ransacked his office, and escaped in a stolen shuttle.) Entering the Romulan Navy under false pretenses, they took positions as Ensigns in order to obtain classified information. (PUBLISHERS' NOTE - They're lying again. They used the shuttle to smuggle Romulan Ale across the Neutral Zone. Captured by a Romulan Border Patrol, Thorne and Embleton accepted service with the Romulan Navy.) Three years later, they were caught with classified information, and imprisoned on Remus. With the help of Mr. Embleton's future wife, Irina (Director of Recreation and Torture at Her Romulan Majesty's Military Penitentiary on Remus), they managed to escape with a stolen Romulan Bird of Prey. Both Cadets graduated with distinction from StarFleet and then resigned, to pursue careers as writers. (PUBLISHERS' NOTE - LIES! ALL LIES! They were arrested for stealing (again!) and put in a Romulan Military Prison to await trial and execution. With the aid of the Chief Interrogator, they managed to escape. Using a derelict Romulan Bird of Prey that Mr. Thorne had located with the use of old Computer files, they returned to Federation Space. In exchange for a Presidential Pardon for any crimes committed previously and for the remainder of the coming fiscal year, classified documents and the vessel itself were handed over to Federation authorities. Thorne and Embleton were banned from ever setting foot on Academy grounds again, and were only allowed to graduate on the condition they both resign immediately after.) Both 'graduates' are now imprisoned on Rura Penthe. Threlfall, Ensign - Crewmember of the Tally Ho. Threl fall is the third person who can visually identify Dr. Mengelek Ramus (Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Emperor Gowron are the other two). Because of the trauma experienced during the raid on RMRS-21, Threlfall had to be institutionalized. He remains there as of this writing. Tirpock, Altron - Romulan Grand Admiral responsible for the reorganization and built up of the Romulan Navy prior to the Second Romulan-Klingon War. T'Kof - Personal physician to K'mpec. He was executed for not having the courage to inform K'mpec of his poisoning and impending death. Torak the Tasteless. Klingon Emperor, successor to Doorak. Unlike his predecessor, Torak was a military hawk who wasted no time in declaring war on Cardassia. Torak earned his moniker shortly after becoming Emperor. He drank more carlabogus than was prudent, and utterred some choice words (of the crudest kind) to his grandmother. She promptly cut out his tongue, made him wash it with soap and water, and then throw it in the Imperial Zirch pond. After that he was known as Torak the Tasteless. On a more positive note, he gave up drinking, and later married his speech pathologist. Toral - Illegitimate son of Duras. In 1777 (2368) he challenged Gowron for the Leadership of the Klingon High Council. Tradesman of Galicia - most powerful trading Guild in Qo'noS's past. In 200 they granted Koonadek a charter. The peaceful relations were short lived as they burned the city to the ground in 211. In 275 their power base was destroyed by Hundar. Traff - Klingon Councillor during the early stages of the Andalusian Occupation. When asked to possibly cooperate with his new rulers, Traff replied that no Klingon with honour, would do such a thing. Traff was killed while trying to choke to death the Andalusian Military Governor. Tricia, Empress - Romulan Empress whose writings serve as the basis for the Romulan constitution. Trojnek - successor to Karas the cruel. Trojnek was a giant, even by Klingon standards. He stood over 3 meters in height, and weighed in excess of 400 kgs. Trojnek died while defending his family from the invading Andalusians. His wife, Lungta carried on the fight after his death. Vaktora, Romulan Empress responsible for organizing the anti-Den Tar movement. Valdo - A Bajoran diplomat, Valdo was instrumental in saving 24,000 Andalusians, by providing them with passports and securing transportation from sympathetic BBA officers. He was taken prisoner by a Romulan border patrol during his last rescue mission. Klingon Emperor, Gorf, had communicated to the Romulans his displeasure with Valdo's activities. In exchange for a trade treaty, the Romulans executed Valdo in prison. Venda - Wife of Karas the cruel. Karas's wife and children were returning from an outing on the Royal Barge, from a visit to her homeland of Ossetia. In full view of the Royal Apartments, the barge was attacked outside Koonadek harbour. As Karas watched in complete helplessness, his wife and children were dragged on deck, and hacked to pieces by the pirates. In response, Karas built a huge maritime Navy, its main mission the destruction of pirate ships and bases. Karas named his flagship the Venda, in honour of his late wife. Vick, Tama - Andalusian fighter pilot during the Occupation. She was put into cryogenic sleep, only to be revived 600 years later. She married the Klingon officer who organized the revival operation. She wrote numerous books on her adventures in the Andalusian Military during the Occupation. Vindar - The Andalusians were believed to have been one of the original tribes kidnapped from the long-lost Klingon home world. They did not escape, but instead were used as slaves by their technologically advanced masters, called the Vindar. A plague wiped out the Vindar, and the Andalusians inherited the Vindar home world and much of their scientific knowledge. Warbek the Pioneer - First great Klingon explorer. He made his greatest discoveries after being exiled from Qo'noS for killing the member of a very powerful Klingon Family. In 1020 he discovered and named Keroffon. Warboff - Son of Warbek the Pioneer. He discovered and named the planets of Heralorfon, Merklorfon, and Vorlorfon. Wellas - Klingon Councillor during the reign of Karas. Along with Councillor's Duff and O'Neef, Wellas was publicly executed in Koonadek's town square. Wodwik - Prince Wodwik is the most unpopular of the Romulan Royal Family. His military rank and decorations are entirely honourary, and he is known to have a terrible fear of the dark. He drinks to excess, and is completely dominated by his mother, who will not let him leave Romulus. Despite incredible political help from the Imperial Council, Prince Wodwik flunked out of the Imperial Military College. His hobbies include flower arrangement, playing the Harp, and watching interrogations at the local medical school. Worf, Col. - Klingon lawyer who represented Captain James T Kirk, and Dr Leonard McCoy at their trial on Qo'noS in 1702 (2293). They had been falsely accused of assassinating Klingon Chancellor Gowron. Col. Worf was the grandfather of Lt. Worf and Commander Kurn. Worf, Lt - Lt. Worf was born on Qo'noS in 1749 (2340). At the age of six he was living on Khitomer when the Romulans attacked. He and his brother Kurn were separated just before the massacre. Worf did not become aware of his brothers existence until 20 years later. Adopted by a human family, Worf was raised on the farm world of Gault. Worf's father was posthumously accused of supplying the access codes to the attacking Romulans. It is 20 years before Worf can clear his fathers name. In 1766 (2357) Worf entered Starfleet Academy. He would became the first klingon to serve in the Federation Starfleet. Posted to the U.S.S. Enterprise, Worf would rise to the rank of chief security officer on the death of the Enterprise's former security chief, Tasha Yar. A liaison with Emissary K'Ehleyr in 1774 (2365), would produce a son, Alexander. Yamong, Admiral - Andalusian Chief of Staff during the final days of the Occupation. He was one of the conspirators responsible for placing General Kung and his division into cryogenic sleep. Yen, Bar - Daran extremist who vowed revenge on the Klingons for being set up at Bantus. He organized the Assassination of Karf. Zarek - Romulan occupation Governor of the Daran home planet. His failure to subdue the population destroyed his career, and he was later executed on Romulus. Zemick, Tung - Undersecretary to the Romulan Minister of Immigration and Assimilation. A career bureaucrat who specialized in quarantine procedures and securing public transit systems in recently acquired worlds; Zemick was executed on Romulus after this scandal broke. Zolnek - Talsha Yar section Chief who told of the organization of Odebba. GLOSSARY 2 Places, Holidays, Concepts, and Devices A-52 Ground assault Interceptor (Vulture) - Mainstay of the Andalusian Occupation forces. It was a multi-role craft, 15 meters in length, and weighing 25,000 kgs. The Vulture carried out such missions as bombing rebel bases, to spraying large sections of forest with herbicide. Only 52 examples are in existence, all were found with their cryogenicly suspended crews. Agnon-4 - M-class planet located in the Andalusian solar system. In 452 it would become the first planet taken over by Klingon forces. In 1154, the Makoff clan of Agnon 4. nominated their candidate, Darff, for the Klingon Emperorship. Contesting with the Hatforf's of Qo'noS, the act produced the First Klingon Civil War. Al'Drich - Klingon research ship destroyed by the Romulans near Molloy-7. None of the crew survived. As the Romulans were using a captured Federation ship, the Klingons nearly went to war with the Federation. Al'Drich in old Klingon refers to a legendary giant sea monster. Andalar - Capital city of Andalusia. The city is famous for holding the Interquadrant games, in memory of General Kung. Andalusia - Planet located in an adjacent solar system to the Qo'noSion system. Andalusia was the home planet for a long lost tribe of Klingons. The Andalusians invaded Qo'noS in 300. The Andalusian Race was wiped out by the Genocidal decree of Gorf. Today Andalusia is one of the more cultured planets of the Klingon Empire. Every year the Interquadrant Games are held in Andalar, capital city of the planet. Andalusian Tracker - After Emperor Gorf put forth his Genocidal decree for the total elimination of the Andalusian race, many Individuals made a great profit, by establishing escape routes for Andalusian survivors. To combat this problem, Gorf was forced to establish a separate detachment of the BBA, to deal with the Andalusians. These Klingons were called Andalusian Trackers, or ATs. They operated on a bounty system, and were recruited from the Klingon Empire's brutal mining communities . Ruthless and amoral, they were highly successful at their job. Once their job had been completed, all the AT's were hunted down and exterminated, and the BBA department responsible, phased out. This served the purpose of concealing their existence. Andalusianization - Political concept drawn up by the Andalusian government in order to justify the occupation of Qo'noS to the Andalusian people. Basically, Andalusian forces were to take over all aspects of Klingon Government, and the Klingons would be 're- educated' into the Andalusian form. When the truth came out, the war became very unpopular. Balsam, Nexus, and Tangles Rivers - The three rivers at whose junction the capital city of Koonadek is found. Bantas - Capital city of Remus. It was destroyed in 1524 by a BBA backed terrorist attack. There were 14 million deaths. Belosha - Small ice covered planet, its only importance to the Klingon Empire is its large mineral deposits. Its most famous native inhabitant is the ice bear. Beloshion Trial - Final test to be passed by Klingon Military Cadets. It involves facing a Beloshion ice bear, armed only with a small dagger. Once the cadet entered the "Pit of Glory", the large steel doors were shut, and his or her "performance" monitored. If the cadet survived, he or she was immediately posted to a Battlecruiser. If the Bear emerged victorious, it was outfitted with a locater device (such a worthy competitor would be called upon in future), and returned to Belosha. Beloshion ice bear - Large carnivores predator, found on the ice planet of Beloshsa. Weighing in excess of 2000kgs, the bears are famous for their short tempers and voracious appetites. One of their favourite foods is Klingon Naval Cadets. Bentas Sector - Area of space long disputed by the Romulan and Klingon Empires. One of the sector's solar systems, contains the planet Molloy-7, site of RMRS-21 Bird of Prey - Small to medium sized Klingon Warship. Utilizing the latest in cloaking technology, Birds of Prey are ideal for single ship scouting missions. The BBA frequently utilize such ships on covert operations. Black Fleet - This is part of Klingon folklore and religion. Klingons believe that after a Warrior dies in battle, his or her spirit will join the crews of the Black Fleet. The Black Fleet is a group of Dark Starships in the land of the dead. In the netherworld Warriors fight and die every day, only to be resurrected the next day to fight again. Obo's and Betazoids have reported this phenomenon in the skies of Qo NoS. Federation Scientists tend to be a bit more skeptical, and believe it to be nothing more than tachyon images from past battles, being replayed over and over, because of some space anomaly. Bureau of Barbarian Affairs (BBA) - First established by Hundar, the BBA is an intelligence organization with a variety of duties. These included political assassinations, agro-industrial espionage, and the gathering of economic and diplomatic information. Further, the BBA shadows visitors in Koonadek, making extensive lists of who they made contact with. Much of Klingon history has been shaped by the BBA. Cardass - Capital city of the Cardassian home planet of Cardassia. It was captured by Klingon General Kung in 1598. Carlabogus - Klingon alcoholic drink. It is a favourite of Miners and other "working class" Klingons. It is made with fermented bats nests, and honey. For extra flavour, maggots are added. The drink can only be consumed while the worm is alive. If the maggot dies, it signifies that the beverage has become poisonous. Chancellor - Leader of the Klingon High Council. Formally the second most powerful position in the Klingon Government. With the Discovery of Kahless's clone, the position of Emperor was changed to spiritual figurehead, and given to Kahless. The Chancellor's status was then changed. It is now the supreme level in the Klingon Government hierarchy. Gowron is the current Klingon Chancellor. City of Elamok - Home base of Morath, brother of Kahless the unforgettable. City of Kief - Birth place of Karas the Cruel. Cloaking technology - Defense technology developed by the Romulans, and improved upon by the Andalusians and Klingons. The technology allows a ship to become visually and sensorly invisible. New Federation detection systems however, have been able to detect the latest in cloaked Romulan ships. Council of Mothers of Slain Warriors - The highest Judicial body that has the right to review Klingon law. The Council serves as the Supreme Court of the Klingon Empire, arbitrating disputes, and personally meting out punishment. Most defendants try to be heard in a lower court. CR-5 Nuclear Bomb - a small tactical nuclear bomb developed by the Cardassians before the Second Romulo-Klingon War. The device measured 20 feet by 5 feet, and weighed 2000 kgs. Although outdated by the time of the War, its small size meant that it could easily be transported to the target site. It was a CR-5 that destroyed Bantas in 1524. Cryogenic Access Codes (CAC's) - Computer codes required to activate or deactivate cryogenic sleeping units. They played a key role in the closing stages of the Andalusian Occupation. Cryogenic sleep - A form of suspended animation. The Andalusians developed a gas that halts all metabolic processes instantly, but inhibits the production of damaging free-radicals, and thus prevents any decay or tissue damage from occurring. This is combined with a lowering of the ambient temperature to -5 centigrade. It was first developed to compensate for the length of time required in early space travel. The development of Warp Drive technology rendered cryogenic sleep obsolete for space travel. Da-Dong Disease - Now eradicated, it was one of many bacterial infections spread by not washing the genitals before intercourse. Da-Dong is old Klingon for "no problem". The penis would become inflamed and painful for 3-4 days, and then it would fall off, "no problem". The penis is naturally regenerated, but the testicle is no longer able to produce viable sperm. Deep Space Station K-7 - Federation space facility orbiting Sherman's planet. Site of the "tribble incident" in 1676 (2267). Den Tar - Third force in the Romulan Government establishment. Originally a group of Romulan spiritual leaders who needed an outlet for the frustrations of Romulan citizens. It became corrupt when both the Empress and Talsha Yar competed for its support. It protected its existence by keeping embarrassing files on government and Military leaders. Over time it became a criminal network. The Den Tar reached the pinnacle of power with the establishment of RMRS-21. Deutridium - Light, high strength element used in the construction of Klingon Warships. It is combined with Titanium to produce a metal alloy. Dilithium crystals - Rare mineral, Helix crystalline in shape, they provide the power source for most warp driven spacecraft. Large Dilithium deposits are rare, and in fact the only known planet were the mineral is in any abundance is Troyius. Donatu V - Site of a large Klingon, first strike, military base, in 1650 (2241). Within a year, the area became the site of a Federation blockade. The Klingons counterattacked, destroying a token, uncrewed battlefleet. Dura Penthe Dilithium Mines - The harshest prison in the Klingon penal system. Located on an ice covered planet, the holding areas are below the surface. Their are no cells as the only place to escape is the frozen surface. Any prisoner who makes it above ground, quickly succumbs to the freezing temperatures. Emperor - First established in 736. The title of Prince was replaced by Emperor, in response to the formal recognition of the Klingon Empire by the Andalusians. It remains to this day, although in a much more reduced, and symbolic role. Enterprise, U.S.S., NCC 1701, - First Federation Starship to bear the name. She was built in the San Francisco Yards facility in 1654 (2245), in Earth orbit. First Captain was Robert April. Captain Chistopher Pike assumed command in 1659 (2250). Pike was replaced by Captain James T Kirk. The ship entered spacedock in 1680 (2271), for a major refit. Upon completion, the Enterprise was fundamentally a new ship. Entirely new Warp drive engines were fitted, the main hull was enlarged and reconfigured, and the upper saucer grew in size. The ship was lost in 1694 (2285) when Captain Kirk self-destructed the ship to prevent it from falling into Klingon hands. Enterprise, U.S.S., NCC 1701-A - In keeping with the tradition of having a U.S.S. Enterprise in Starfleet, the U.S.S. Yorktown, was rechristened the U.S.S. Enterprise-A, upon the destruction of the original. It is now an exhibit at the Smithstonian institute's orbital Museum complex. Enterprise, U.S.S., NCC 1701-C - Destroyed while engaging Romulan warships at the Klingon outpost of Narendra III. Captain Rachel Garrett commanding. Enterprise, U.S.S., NCC 1701-D - Launched 1772 (2363) from the Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards orbiting Mars. First and current Captain, Jean-Luc Picard. Federation - First incorporated in 1570 (2161), the Federation is a collection of Galactic Nations united under one cause, the peaceful exploration of space. Its head offices are located on Earth. Fertizone disease - Condition (similar to the common cold in humans) resulting from an infection of the Fertizone Gland in Klingons. Once infected, the glands production of Fertizone drops. Symptoms include, Increased levels of compassion and tenderness, docility, and loss of the warrior spirit. Once the infection clears up, the Klingon's aggression levels return to normal. First Contact - Federation strategy developed by the Behavioral Science Division. It involves the step by step procedure to be followed when making first contact with an Alien race. The policy was drawn up after the unfortunate First contact with the Klingon Empire in 1617 (2218). First Warrior - First created in 1452, the post of First Warrior was, at least on paper, the second most powerful person in the Klingon government. But behind the scenes, the Emperor above, and the Military commanders below, new differently. The post had one important function, and that was to serve as a scapegoat in times of defeat. If a Naval setback was suffered, all strategic decisions and blunders were placed at the feet of the First Warrior. A ten minute trial was held, and the "guilty" party was publicly executed. If the Klingon navy experienced a magnificent victory, then the Emperor received credit. The position was eliminated in 1702 (2293). Fixed action pattern (FAP) - An instinctive response to a stimulus. For example, some insects are instinctively attracted to light, others to dark and damp areas. Galicia - Plateau town , former location of the Tradesmen of Galicia. Early in its history, the tradesmen were the most powerful trading guild on Qo'noS. Today Galicia is a resort city, catering to the wealthy of Qo'noS's society. Genesis - Project Genesis was a Federation project designed to rapidly terraform barren planets. It also had the potential to wipe out all the previously resident life forms. What ordinarily took billions of years, could now be achieved in mere days. The Project was headed by Dr.s Carol and David Marcus. Before full tests could be carried out, the device was stolen and detonated, by a geneticly engineered human from Earth's past. Green Animal Women - Kingdom Plantae, Division Myxomycota, Genus Gardenera. This division is comprised by the plasmodial slime molds, found most abundantly in the soil of deciduous forests, and the lower intestinal flora of Ferengi. In the nonreproductive stage, these slime molds are thin streaming masses of protoplasm that creep along in amoeboid fashion, feeding on bacteria and organic material. In 2018, a rather lonely doctoral candidate, Grant Gardener, was studying the interactions between deep-sea vent bacteria and lower forms of plant life, in isolated ecosystems. He stumbled upon the fact that the deep-sea vent bacterial DNA was easily incorporated into the DNA of the slime molds. This new genus of slime mold manifested itself with a plasmodium (the naked mass of protoplasm lacking a cell wall) that enlarged dramatically, with a thin wall that encompassed almost the entire plant. With experimentation, Gardener was able to shape the structure and texture of the plasmodium. He soon developed a plasmodium that replicated the physical structure of a Human female. This plasmodium was attracted to Human male pheromones and body heat, and fed on dead skin cells and body fluids, through absorption. For reasons still not understood, the plasmodium also vibrates rythmically to music, giving the appearance of dancing. Gardener's supervisor knew a good thing when he saw it, and persuaded Gardener to patent his new discovery. As an omen of things to come, the PhD committee, composed entirely of women, and charged with reviewing Gardener's thesis, were less than pleased. They reacted violently, and campus security had to be called. One of the angry female professors shouted (as she was taken away through a cloud of tear gas to a waiting squad car), "We'd have to give this guy his degree in a plain brown wrapper!" All charges were later dropped, in exchange for Gardener's thesis defense being accepted. In 2020, Dr. Gardener and his former supervisor formed a company to market their new product, "Garden Dancers," made up of several species, including Gardenera partyheartyis, Gardenera hubbahubba, and Gardenera hottootrottis (Capt. Jim Kirk's personal favorite). It was an international success, and the Company earned $5 billion in profit in its first quarter. In response to media criticism, a line of Green Animal Men was launched. They were only moderately successful. As one U.S. Senator stated, "There has never been a shortage of dumb, willing males." The company was forced to declare bankruptcy the following year, after it was found liable for the environmental damage along the Eastern Seaboard of North America, caused by the herbicide riots (led by a group of radical feminists, religious conservatives, and home entertainment system distributors) in 2021. Green Animal Women have now established themselves in forests throughout Earth's Boreal Zone. Camping and environmentalism are now listed as the two of the top three interests of the average male on Earth. Great Hall of Koonadek Palace - Central assembly hall of the Palace. The Great Hall is the site for all the important Klingon ceremonial occasions, such as the coronation of a new Emperor. Group of Seven - The seven medical researchers stationed at RMRS- 21. Of the seven, only Dr Ramus survived the Tally Ho's assault. Hoverbus - The T'Kid class Hoverbus is built by Prontor heavy Industries of Koonadek. Over 90% of the vehicle's parts are interchangeable with the Military's, T'Brot variant. The school version is certified for 75 students, although only 50 seats are provided. It has a maximum speed of 150 km/hour. There have been instances of higher speeds, but only while under student control. The T'Brot military version is lighter and can reach 200 km/hour. the higher speed is the result of less weight in the form of armour plating. Such protection is not as important in military situations. Jutar - site of the largest known spacefleet battle. When the engagement was over, 235 ships, and 50,000 personnel had lost their lives. The battle occurred in 1515 between the joint Klingon- Ferengi fleets, and the combined Romulan-Cardassian fleets. Kan Ada Day - The most festive of Klingon holidays. It is held in memory of the great Klingon philosopher, Kan Ada, who died in 292. The highlight of the feast is the traditional Zirch supper. Kan Ada is also the official day of Qo'noS's undertakers, as the Zirch fights tend to be great for business. Kedavedon - Birth place of Trojnek, it was destroyed by pirates in 255. Keroffon - Solar system discovered and named by Warbek the Pioneer T in 1020. N Khitomer - Khitomer is a planet located near the mutual Klingon/Federation/Romulan boarder. It served as the site for the first true peace negotiations in 1702 (2293). It would be attacked by Romulan military forces 53 years later. Four thousand Klingon were killed in the assault. Klingon Academy of Commerce - Business training center first established by Hundar. In terms of prestige, it ranks with the Vulcan Academy of Science, and even the Ferengi send representatives for advanced degrees in Trading and Commerce. Klingon Growth Hormone (KGH) - Secreted by the lining of the bone marrow, it is the chief regulatory growth hormone in Klingon physiology. K'Mert Industries - Largest Military contractor on Andalusia. K'Mert recruit the most ruthless individuals to carry out their business transactions. Koonadek - Capital city of Qo'noS. The site was first discovered in 110, by Carness the Trader. Over the centuries it has endured numerous sieges and occupations. Archaeologists estimate that it has been rebuilt 12 times in its history. Located at the junction of three great rivers, and surrounded on all sides by the mountains or ocean, the site was the ideal location for a prospering city. Koonadek Palace - Largest building complex on Qo'noS. It houses the Imperial Family, Offices of the BBA, and most Government Agencies. It has been destroyed and rebuilt numerous times throughout its history. Krugs - Warring clans located along the river Nexus. They were virtually exterminated by BBA teams in 255. K'Vort Class Battlecruiser - Largest warship in the Klingon Military. The K'Vort weighs 85,000 tons and carries a maximum crew of 630. They are built at the Imperial Dockyards orbiting Andalusia. Kybron Pass - Site of the avalanche which killed Karas, and seriously injured his adopted son, Trojnek. Lord Mayor of Koonadek - First established in 250, the title signified the ruler for the city of Koonadek. The Mayor held executive powers, and his decisions could be reviewed by the city council on a weekly basis. The title was replaced by Karas in 280, when he proclaimed himself, Prince of Koonadek. Lunar Power Commission (LPC) - Klingon department responsible for Lunar energy production. Their decision to build a chain of reactors on Praxi's in 1701 (2292), led to the moon's explosion and subsequent peace between the Federation and Klingon Empire. Magna Carbon Rockets - Small hand held surface to air missiles. Although short in range, the weapons were used very effectively by the Klingon rebels during the Andalusian Occupation. Marnian Confederation - Pirate alliance which murdered the wife and children of Karas in 292. The act resulted in the building of Koonadek's first navy. While most of their attacks were carried out at sea, their home base was located in the mountains. They were exterminated by Karas in 292. Mayocide - anti-wheat virus developed by the klingon BBA for use on Sherman's planet. The virus was to be introduced into the atmosphere in gaseous form. The operation failed after the discovery of dead tribbles in wheat silos aboard an orbiting space station. Meteor Storms - Specialists classify meteor storms as any sector of space through which a large debris field is passing at a rapid rate, for a given length of time. Until they were recently removed, these orbiting meteor storms would travel through the Klingon system every 5 months. A severe storm could last 3 weeks. Mining Admirals - While the 10,000 colonists who arrived with Serboff in 1045, were to be the first permanent settlers, once a year mining masters would arrive at each planet and serve as Governors at each of the hundreds of mine sites. This period in Klingon history became known as The Time Of The Mining Admirals. Each admiral had the privilege of choosing the most lucrative mine site, determined by seniority of arrival. Basically, the first admiral to arrive from Klingon picked the best site, and so on down the line. Because of such a set up, starships, fitters, suppliers, and crews, were in great demand, and the corridor between Klingon and 3M was the scene of great rivalries, as mining admirals raced one another to the 3M system. Molloy-7 - An M-class planet, located in the Borak system. Molloy-7 was the location for RMRS-21. The station was located at the planet's south pole. Morana - Daran Southern capital. It was destroyed by a Romulan nuclear missile in 1521. Over 3 million Daran civilians lost their lives in the attack. Mount Evtok - Mountain which rises high above the city of Koonadek. Engraved in the sides are inscriptions which tell of the life of Kahless. Narendra III - site of an attack by Romulan forces on a Klingon outpost in 1753 (2344). The intervention by the Federation starship Enterprise-C, helped cement Klingon Federation relations. Navigational Beacons - Unmanned sentry pods that guarded the entrance to service tunnels and bunker complexes during the Andalusian Occupation. Neural - M-class planet inhabited by peaceful tribes. In 1676 (2267), the Klingon BBA interfered with the planets development by supplying arms to some of the tribes. To compensate, the Federation armed the other tribes. Nimbus III - Called the Planet of Galactic Peace, Nimbus 111 was an attempt at interstellar harmony. It was hoped that the planet, and associated colony would be jointly administered by the three governments of the Federation, Klingon, and Romulan Empires. The hope was that such cooperation would lead to future collaboration between the three great powers. Though a failure, the temporary peace did foreshadow events that would transpire in the near future Obo's - A Klingon spiritual walker. It is believed that some Klingons posses the ability to astroproject, that is, have their consciousness leave their bodies. If the body dies while the spirit walks, the Obo is condemned to spend his life in Limbo. From an early age, children are told bedtime stories of tormented Obos whose bodies were killed while their spirits walked. Insane from their exile in purgatory, they can only scream and wail in despair as they watch the ships high above them fight glorious battles. Occupation - The 420 years of Andalusian control over the Klingon home planet of Qo'noS. It lasted from 300 to 720. Odebba - Network of escape, set up by the Group of Seven. It was an underground organization committed to providing sanctuary for Den Tar members and their families. Organia - Site of a minor skirmish between the Federation and Klingon Empire in 1676 (2267). A great spacefleet battle between the two powers was prevented by the advanced inhabitants of the planet. This planet was destroyed when its sun went supernova. Pit of Glory - The small enclosed room were the Naval cadet attempts to pass the Beloshion Trial. The containment area is constructed out of Deutridium alloys. Plains of Magyar - Meeting site of the Tradesmen of Galicia, and Koonadek representatives, in 213. The warning parties signed an armistice which became known as the treaty of Volsnat, named in honour of the trading post where the ceremony took place. Plateless Clans - The most obvious physical difference between humans and Klingons is the presence of a large bony protrusion on the foreheads of most Klingons. This large, bony plate, gives the Klingon his fierce warrior, almost animal like appearance. This condition is seen in 80% of the Klingon population. The other 20% have a more human like appearance with only marginally larger eyebrows and a dark complexion. Studies carried out by Dr. Ramus, determined that the difference is because of genetic variation. The gene for skull plate presence is dominant to the gene for abstinence. The odds of being born without the skull plate are one in five. During the reign of Horf (Horf did not have a skull plate), all naval officers and crew had to be chosen from the minority (plateless) group. After Horf's death the regulations were relaxed and both groups now serve in the Klingon military services. Praf and Witmor - Main engine manufacturer for the Klingon Military Space Fleet. Praxi's - Qo'noS moon which exploded in 1702 (2293). Praxi's was the major energy source for Qo'noS and its destruction left the Klingon Home world with six months of reserve energy supply. The Reactor complex located on the surface was one of the largest of its type in the Quadrant. The explosion virtually destroyed the moon and slightly shifted the orbit of Qo'noS. Prime Directive - Federation policy which governs all space exploration. In short it states that Federation vessels must not interfere with developing planets. It has been violated in the past on Captains discretion. Prince of Koonadek - Leadership title first established by Karas the Cruel in 280. It signified the absolute ruler of Koonadek and the surrounding areas. It remained the top leadership title until replaced by Emperor in 736. Prontor Heavy Industries - Largest Military contractor on Qo'noS. Among their products is the Bird of Prey Scout vessel. Qo'noS - Home planet of the Klingon Empire. The capitol city is Koonadek. An M-class planet, Qo'noS has a much harsher climate than Earth, with wind storms and great temperature fluctuations the norm. Such a climate has no doubt contributed to the toughness of the Klingon Race. Quadrotriticale - Hybrid of wheat developed for the harsh environment of Sherman's planet. It is resistant to most parasites and temperature fluctuations. Quiet Years - The peaceful period of time between 1525 and 1595. All the major powers experienced 70 years of peaceful relations during this stretch. The only War started during the Quiet Years was the Romulan Civil War, starting in 1585. Remembrance Games - First held in 1612. The Games bring the Major powers together for three weeks of friendly athletic competition. They are held each year in Andalar, capital city of Andalusia. Remus - Second of the Romulan home planets. Remus's population tend to be more moderate than their brothers on Romulus. This difference in policy was the catalyst for the Romulan Civil War of 1585. Resistance - Realizing that the Andalusians possessed greater technology, the Klingons organized a resistance movement based on attrition. Instead of fighting out in the open, Klingon rebel forces would pick and choose their place and time for attack. Though causalities were high, by 732 the strategy had finally paid off. Rigellion Trap - Great naval battle during the Second Romulo- Klingon War. The attacking Klingon battlefleet was outflanked by the defending Cardassian Fleet. Most of the Klingon Fleet was destroyed. The name comes from the area of space where the engagement took place. Romulan Ale - Romulan alcoholic beverage of extremely high potency. With the crack down on smuggling by Romulan border patrols, the Ale is in great demand. So much so that many nations use Romulan Ale as a form of currency. Romulan-Andalusian War - Also called the War of the Crystals. Fought in 736 after Romulan Military units seized Andalusian Dilithium stockpiles. The War forced Andalusia to seek peace with the Klingon Empire. Romulan Civil War - Fought between 1585 and 1602. The two combatants during the War were the two home planets of Romulus and Remus. At the center of the dispute was the difference in expansion philosophy. Romulus preferred expansion under military control, whereas Remus wanted a peaceful civilian led expansion. The War claimed 32 million lives. Romulan Imperial Medical College - main military academy of the Romulan Star Empire. The college is divided into three sections; Military, Support, and Medical. The first two are located on Romulus. The Medical section is located on Remus. RMRS-21 - Romulan Medical Research Station, site of the infamous medical experiments carried out by the Group of seven. Headed by Dr. Mengelek Ramus, the facility was located at the southern pole of Molloy-7. The complex was destroyed by a joint Klingon- Federation raid in 1753 (2344). Romulan Secret Police - Responsible for all state security. They have sweeping powers of arrest, and are accountable only to the Empress and her Council. Romulan Tower - Monument built in 1250 by captured Romulan prisoners. Integrated into Klingon society, they married the Andalusian women brought out of cryogenic sleep. Their offspring, the Romulusians, serve as the Emperor's official Palace Guard. Romulus - First of the two home worlds of the Romulan Star Empire. Unlike Remus, Romulus has maintained an aggressive stance towards space expansion. RS-21 Laser Guided Interplanetary Missile - Largest nuclear missile in the Romulan arsenal during the Second Romulo-Klingon War. With a top speed of .9 light, one missile was capable of destroying a city 50 km in diameter. Sacred Principles of Klingon - Written by the philosopher Kan Ada, the writings serve as the basis for Klingon law and spiritual guidance. St.John's Incident - A notorious StarFleet Conference held in St.John's, Newfoundland, on Earth. Planned as an opportunity for new cadets to take part in open discussions on Federation Policy, as well as attend seminars on ship operations, technology, and military strategy; the conference became a public relations disaster. Not used to the lack of discipline, the cadets ran wild. Loud pillow fights spilled out of the rooms and into the corridors. Hotel guests complained that they had been pelted with eggs or received room service late at night that they had not ordered, and that elevator buttons had been coated with super-glue. The main auditorium was defaced with graffiti. Above the speaker's podium were painted two large slogans: "I'd rather be in the Klingon Navy!" and "Beam This!" To add insult to injury, several admirals and visiting foreign dignitaries were mooned in the hotel parking lot. One of the official chaperones, Capt. James T. Kirk, was seen with a group of other senior officers in the hotel lobby, wearing togas and dancing with a group of scantily clad Green Animal Women. Much of the bad behavior was blamed on the hotel coffee, which had a high caffeine content, and the average age of the cadets, which was 13. To prevent future recurrences, the age of admission to StarFleet Academy was raised to 19, coffee intake was restricted, and Green Animal Women Toga Parties banned from all hotel lobbies at future conferences. Sherman's Planet - Site of the 1651 (2242), Battle of Donatu V. During the engagement, most of the unprepared Klingon Battlefleet was destroyed. In 1676 (2267), the planet became the location of attempted agricultural sabotage by the Klingon BBA. Soodba - Old Klingon belief that meetings between individuals are fated or predetermined by spiritual forces. Soodbath - Fate of the Warrior. If a Klingon Warrior is severely injured to the point of being beyond help, he can still die well if a fellow warrior will cut his throat. A Warrior who aids another in this manner is adopted by the dead warrior's family in gratitude. Staking Day - Klingon Holiday. Held once a year in honour of the Council members, slain by Karas. The Holiday's celebrations begin early in the morning and continue for the whole day. During the festivities, all unpopular politicians are impaled on "stakes", hence the name. Tally Ho - Federation attack ship commanded by Captain Robert Lee. The Tally Ho made the assault on RMRS-21 in 1753 (2344). Aided by Klingon BBA agent Gowron, the Tally Ho's crew were successful in destroying the complex and liberating the few survivors. The Legend of the Landing - An ancient manuscript that is on display in the Great Hall Of Koonadek Palace. It is the oldest known piece of Klingon Literature. It describes the first arrival of the Klingon race on Qo'noS. The Party - 1776 (2367) State dinner in honour of BBA Director P'Krat. She was celebrating 30 years in office. The occasion turned into a "joyous celebration", as the Ferengi caterers provided a most potent version of Romulan Ale. The party ended with 42 dead, and 54 injured. If not for the poisoning of the Klingon Chancellor, the event would have gone down in Klingon history as the greatest gala ever thrown. The Prophecy - A vision of the future as outlined in the seventh book of Kalmek the Holy. Kalmek was a religious figure devoted to the expansion of the Romulan Empire. A temple was built at his birth site and all important decisions of the Den Tar were made there. Possession of the prophecy is punishable by death. The authors of THE KLINGON CHRONICLES, are the first to translate it into English. The Second Klingon Civil War - Feud in 1777 (2368) between Gowron, and Toral of the Duras Family. The war was for the Klingon leadership. It involved elements of both clans, as well as the Romulans and Federation. It ended with Gowron remaining as Klingon Chancellor. Throwing Day - The Klingon holiday of Throwing Day is held in honour of the unfortunate architect who designed the first tower of Koonadek Palace. Held three months after Kan Ada Day, the special occasion involves dragging unwelcome house guests (usually rude relatives) to the top of the family dwelling. Chanting the cries of warriors past, the guests are then hurled to the cobblestone streets below. If they survive, they are given a special invitation to come back and celebrate the holiday the next year. T'Ong - Klingon sleeper ship launched in 1699 (2290). The T'Ong was commanded by Captain K'Temok. Its mission was two fold; exploration and conquest. The Klingon Empire had to constantly seek out new worlds to overpower. Only by such means could the Empire's craving for resources be met. The T'Ong had been equipped with cryogenics, to ensure the crew a long safe mission. It reemerged in 1774 (2365). Town Square - Social meeting place of Klingon daily life. Famous for its Zirch Fights, all Qo'noS cities and towns have a Square. Tribbles - Private trader, Cyrano Jones, introduced the small, brown, furry creatures into Federation space in an attempt to provide humans with the perfect pet. Unfortunately the beasties tended to spend their lives eating and reproducing. One tribble quickly became two tribbles, and two became four, and so on. This biological characteristic offset their soothing effect on humans. tribbles have the ability to detect and respond to sensitive emotions in Humans. Klingons rarely possess such emotions, consequently tribbles and Klingons do not see eye to eye. In fact both species possess an instinctively intense dislike for each other, which is often violent. Tribodium - Light weight material used in the construction of Klingon spaceships. Tribodium is ideal, as it is strong and moderately flexible. Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards - orbiting the planet Mars, the Yards are the site where the Federation's Galaxy class starships are constructed (Enterprise, Yamato, Bismarck, and Scharnhorst). Valhalla - The home port of the Ferengi battlefleet. It was destroyed in 1451 by Klingon forces in retaliation for the Ferengi attack on the Klingon Royal family. Vengence - Romulan attackship, originally the Federation ship, Liberty. It destroyed the Klingon research ship Aldrich. V'Ger - V'Ger had originally been designed by NASA, and named Voyager 6. During its mission, Voyager entered a Black Hole and was thrown light years away. It entered an area of space inhabited by "living" machines. The machines scanned Voyager, and ascertained that improvements could be made to its equipment. The name change was the result of the "OYA" being deleted from Voyagers records. The rebuilt probe was miles across, and became self-aware. It returned to Earth looking for its creator. Now as a "living" machine, it assumed that its creator was also of the same design. Only later did it realize that Biological units might also be machines. Voontak Yap - An old Klingon obscenity, on a scale of 1-10, it rates an 11 in shock value. Due to the translation problems of our earlier publication, we feel it is enough to say that it suggests an unnatural act involving the person to whom it is spoken and a gardening tool no longer used. Talsha Yar - Intelligence agency of the Romulan Government. It is responsible for political repression, assassinations, espionage, and other covert operations. Zarnian Alliance - Clan from the Zarnian mountains who allied themselves with the Tradesmen of Galicia in 280. They were destroyed by Karas's armies in 283. Zirch - The Zirch is a large member of the Klingon Salamander family. It possesses characteristics of both fish and amphibians. Large males may weigh up to 500 kgs. The Zirch is notorious for it's mean but high spirited temper. Hunting the animal is a highly honourable profession as the odds of surviving the expedition are approximately 50-50. REFERENCES BOOKS 1) Thorne, Gerard and Embleton, Phil; OLD KLINGON FOR TOURISTS. 2) Korotkov, Dr. David; I'M OK, YOU'RE IN PAIN, text on Klingon social psychology. 3) Tam, Dr. Peter; LEARN TO SPEAK KLINGON, OR JUST SMELL LIKE ONE, Text includes the new "Scratch and Sniff Emotional Label System". 4) McKim, Dr. Bill; I KNOW IT HURTS, BUT SO WHAT?, The complete guide to Klingon Pharmaceuticals. 5) Crotty, Admiral John; I DIDN'T ASK, AND HAVE NO INTENTIONS TO, Treatise on Klingon etiquette. 6) Cowan, Dr. Gary and Baggs, Eric; PARASITES I HAVE KNOWN AND LOVED, Complete guide to Klingon Cuisine. 7) Bennett, Dr. Gordon; YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST LEARNED EACH OTHERS NAMES, Reference book on Klingon infectious diseases. 8) Thorne, Gerard and Embleton, Phil; THE ROMULAN FILES, An Untold Story. The complete history of the Romulan Star Empire, focusing on Military covert operations. 9) Embleton, Phil and Thorne, Gerard; LOST BROTHERS, The Rise and Fall of the Andalusian Republic. 10) Sorf, Alik; LIFE IN THE ANDALUSIAN INFANTRY. 11) Leyton, Dr. Elliot; HUNTING KLINGONS, Pursuit of the Killer Captains. 12) Embleton, Phil and Thorne, Gerard; BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES IN THE KLINGON EMPIRE, Text on the do's and don'ts of trading with the Klingons. 13) Thorne, Gerard and Embleton, Phil; FERENGI, THE RACE THAT LIVES TO PROFIT, An introduction to the Galaxy's greatest Businessmen. 14) Nookla, chief architect to the Emperor; WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS CROOKED?, The complete Guide to Klingon Architecture. 15) T'Flos; DOWNRIGHT SILLY, An examination of the Comedy of Stephen King. 16) Kevak; THE DEPTH OF HUMANOID SUFFERING, The Art of Jerry Lewis. A Klingon Perspective. 17) Masterong, and Johnarf; SEXUAL RESPONSE AND INTERHUMANOID SEX. Forword by penile reconstructive expert, Lornoff Bobbitt 18) Embleton, Dimitri and Embleton, Ronan; KLINGON DISEASES AND THEIR CAUSES, An introductory Text. 19) Mahorf, Admiral; THE INFLUENCE OF SPACEFLEET POWER ON EMPIRE EXPANSION. 20) Embleton, Phil and Thorne, Gerard; CARDASSIA, A Nation in Flux. The History of the Dominion of Cardassia. 21) Thorne, Gerard and Embleton, Phil; A COMPARISON OF MILITARY TECHNOLOGY ACROSS THE BETA QUADRANT. 22) Embleton, Phil and Thorne, Gerard; THE WANDERERS, The Struggles of the Daran Alliance. 23) Embleton, Phil and Thorne, Gerard; KLINGON CUSTOMS AND VALUES, An Introductory Text. 24) Kirk, James T.; 30 YEARS AT THE HELM, Autobiography. 25) Korotkov, Dr. Dave; BBA COGNITIVE STRATIGIES. 26) Mortif, Emperor; GREAT MILITARY LEADERS OF THE GALAXY. ARCHIVE FILES 27) Ramus, Dr. Mengelek; File # 387-24, Personal Log, located in the Imperial Klingon Archives, Qo'noS. 28) Picard, Jean-Luc and Threlfall, Jim; File # 3241-62, Debriefing, located in the Federation Archives, Earth. 29) Gowron, BBA agent; File # 387-22, Field Report, BBA Archives, Qo'noS. 30) Spock, Ambassador; File # 4370-2, Federation Archives, Earth. 31) Spock, Ambassador; File # 7243-1, Vulcan Archives, Vulcan. 32) Kan Ada; File # 01, Sacred Principles of Klingon, Imperial Klingon Archives, Qo'noS. 33) Riker, Commander Will; File # 342-87, Exchange Report, Federation Archives, Earth. 34) Dristak, Ambassador; File # 4342-1, Debriefing, Imperial Klingon archives, Qo'noS. 35) File # 3256-85, Imperial Klingon Archives, Qo'noS. 36) File # 563-21, Imperial Klingon Archives, Qo'noS. 37) Securing our Borders through Containment; File # 342-92, Starfleet Archives, Earth. 38) File # 2368-64; Imperial Klingon Archives, Qo'noS. 39) File # 685-21; Imperial Klingon Archives, Qo'noS. 40) File # 5872-42; Debriefing, Federation Archives, Earth. 41) File # 345-85; Debriefing, Federation Archives, Earth. 42) File # 342-58; Debriefing, Federation Archives, Earth. 43) File # 342-59; Debriefing, Federation Archives, Earth. 44) T'Drak, BBA agent; File # 862-20, Official Report, Imperial Klingon Archives, Qo'noS. MISCELLANEOUS REFERENCES 45) Transcripts of the trial of the six captured members of the Romulan Group of Seven. 46) The Prophecy; Courtesy of the Romulan Underground. 47) Zolnek, Yan Tar Section Chief; Debriefing, courtesy of the Romulan Underground. 48) Legend of the Landing; Displayed in the Great Hall of Koonadek. 49) Sacred Inscriptions of Kahless; Field Trip by the authors to Mount Evtok. 50) Hunt or Be Hunted, Fishing Klingon Style; Klingon Geographic Society, Spring 1777 (2368) edition. 51) Worf, Lt.; Starship Enterprise Duty Log. 52) Picard, Captain Jean-Luc; U.S.S Enterprise, Captain's Log. 53) Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, authors personal visit, Cleveland, Ohio, Earth. 54) Authors personal interviews with: Alik Sorf Ambassador Spock Tama Vick Emperor Kahless Chancellor Gowron Toral, son of Duras Lt. Worf Commander Will Riker Captain Jean-Luc Picard SYNOPSIS The forward by Lt. Worf begins the book. Naturally, he hates it. He quotes the titles of several other books which should be bought first (rest assured these do not actually exist). It sets the tone of a humorous approach. The dedication is our own sleazy way of trying to shrug off the responsibility for a group of tourists being killed on Qo'noS. They died as a result of a badly written phrase book (written by us), which has been withdrawn from the market as part of a class- action legal agreement. The acknowledgements list the names of people who actually helped us, and who have been given fictional alteregos in a StarTrek future. Additional StarTrek characters are thanked to lend an air of authenticity. The Preface explains the need for a better understanding of Klingons and the growing importance of the Klingon Empire to the economy and security of the Federation. The Prelude is an examination of an incident involving a group of Romulan War Criminals and their Klingon victims. A Dr. Ramus Mengelek supervises the torture and experimentation on a group of Klingon prisoners (and a Romulan control group), in order to obtain information that might help in an upcoming war. The Camp is discovered by future-Chancellor Gowron. During his escape from the planet's surface he is rescued by a federation attack craft. Gowron is debriefed by the second-officer, future-Captain of the Enterprise, Jean-Luc Picard. A costly attack on the camp results in the liberation of the prisoners and the capture of all the criminals except Dr. Ramus, who escapes. Picard helps several badly-mutilated prisoners to die with honour, and is later adopted by their families as an expression of gratitude. His adoption puts Picard third in line to the Klingon Throne. A great deal of background information on the Romulan Empire is provided. Chapter 1 describes how the original Klingons were kidnapped form their homeworld by an advanced alien race. One tribe managed to take over their transport, and forced their former-captors to crash-land the ship on another planet. Kahless's heroic role in this is described in the "Legend of the Landing." The founding and growth of the capital city of Koonadek is described. The first great leader, Hundar the Shrewd, is introduced. Hundar founded the Academy of Commerce (to standardize and promote trade), and the Bureau of Barbarian Affairs (BBA). The BBA becomes the pivotal point on which much of Klingon History is shaped. The BBA is given a mandate to engage in surveillance and espionage. Karas the Cruel becomes the second great leader, and he becomes extremely popular after executing the ruling city council, but earns his moniker after ending the party early during the post- execution celebrations. He defeats an invading army and adopts one of their officers, Trojnek the Giant, as his son and heir. Karas witnesses the slaughter of his family by Marnian Pirates, and leads his Koonadek Forces in a bloody war of revenge. Karas, and his advisor, the great Klingon Philosopher Kan Ada (author of the sacred principles of Klingon) are killed during the campaign. Trojnek is rescued by a widow, whom he subsequently marries when he returns to Koonadek. The Klingon obsession with fishing is explored in the chapter's culture section. True to character, fishing is a violent and dangerous business. The fisherman steals a giant salamander (Zirch) egg, and waits for the mother to attempt to retrieve it. The subsequent battles are vicious, and 50% of the time the fisherman dies with honour. Chapter Two is possibly the darkest point in Klingon history, the Andalusian Occupation. The planet of Qo'noS is occupied by another Klingon tribe that out-lived their oppressors. Andalusian Veterans, kept alive in underground bunkers in cryogenic sleep, tell their own stories. After four hundred years of brutal conflict the Klingons emerge victorious. The Klingon War Machine forms the cultural section that ends this chapter. It introduces the Klingon Military Academy, and the trials and tribulations of a life in the Klingon Military Space Fleet. To lighten things up, after the gloom of the Occupation, the chapter looks at some of the more colourful characters and incidents in Klingon Naval history. Chapter Three shows what can happen if proper protocol is not followed by a nation's leader. In this case, Klingon Emperor, Syntar, died without appointing a successor. There immediately followed a bloody civil war that brought much destruction to the Klingon Empire. The crises was resolved when the BBA stepped in and backed a neutral third party for the leadership. Mining Admiral Rendras was proclaimed Emperor, and the two warring Clans were executed for the turmoil they had brought to the Empire. From a historical point of view, the most important part of the period, was the adopting of the philosophy of Kan Ada, as the official law of the Klingon Empire. It would shape all future Klingon history. The chapter's cultural section takes a humorous look at Klingon pheromones, specifically their importance to mating, and perception by humans. The section shows how pheromones are important to Naval discipline, and how pheromone "aroma" plays an important role in Klingon social situations. Commander Will Riker's comments add a unique dimension to the discussion. Chapter Four tells of the Klingon Empire's first major War with a Non-Klingon foe, in this case the Romulans. Against the advice of their most senior Admiral, the Romulan Military invades Klingon territory. Initial success is later neutralized, as the Klingon tactic of attrition drives the Romulans back. Recognizing the potential of their enemy, the Romulans save face by signing an armistice. The War ends with the Daran system in Klingon hands. An underlying theme to the chapter is the discovery of the first Andalusian survivors in cryogenic sleep. The Andalusian women later marry Romulan male prisoners captured during the War. Their offspring, called Romulusians, become the official bodyguard for the Klingon Emperor. The teenage Klingon is the focal point to Chapter four's cultural section. After 'surviving' breakfast, the adolescent 'fights' for a seat on the Hoverbus, and proceeds to their school. If the regular teacher is present then the day holds few surprises for the student. If however, a substitute teacher shows up, the tone of the class changes rather quickly. Unruly students are whipped into shape, and delinquent parents tracked down, even if it means going to another planet. After surviving the week, the teenage Klingon may be rewarded with a school dance. Males however, must be chaperoned by a trustworthy escort, one who can defend the adolescent male from any danger. In this case the task goes to the family grandmother. Ruthless, and with an extensive military background, grandmothers are frequently called upon to get the adolescent male through the teenage years. One of the Highlights to the chapter is the interaction between the chaperoning grandmother, and the male's date. Such battles provide much insight to the Klingon teenage years. Chapter Five opens with an attempted kidnapping of the Klingon Royal Family, by a joint Ferengi-Cardassian trading mission. The operation fails and the Ferengi are horribly (but 'usefully') executed. The Romulan Empire embarks on a massive Military build up under the direction of Admiral Tirpock. The assassination of the Cardassian Sultan, by BBA-backed, Ferengi terrorists, leads to the Second Romulan-Klingon War. Failing to stick to previously successful tactics, the Klingon Fleet is virtually annihilated in the opening stages of the War. A long blockade follows, with the Klingon Empire slowly being forced into submissiveness. The blockade is finally broken when the joint Klingon-Ferengi fleet meets the aligned Romulan-Cardassian fleet at the battle of Jutar. The War ends with all four sides signing a peace accord. The Romulans retain the captured Daran system, and the Cardassians are given control of the Bajoran Republics. To illustrate a seldom seen side of Klingon society, Klingon architecture forms the basis of the chapter's cultural section. A detailed pictorial trip through the great city of Koonadek is presented, with an emphasis on Koonadek Palace. All the major sights, referred to throughout the book, are shown in photographs. The section concludes with a look at the Remembrance Games, and the 500,000 seat Andalar Amphitheatre. Chapter Six is called Rebellion, and for good reason. In an attempt to overthrow their Romulan occupiers, the Darans mount a massive counterattack. Initial requests for Klingon assistance go unheeded, but following the nuclear destruction of the Daran southern capital of Morana, the Klingon BBA decides to back the Daran cause. A series of BBA backed covert attacks culminate in the nuclear attack on the Romulan city of Bontas. Recognizing they have been pawns of the BBA, the Darans assassinate Klingon Emperor Karf the Cautious. The Klingon respond by expelling all Daran refugees from Qo'noS. To show how translating from one language to another presents unique problems, the first part of the cultural section takes a comparative look at Klingon and Human Literature. To wet the appetite, an introduction to Klingon Cuisine is presented. Such traditional meals as 'Blood Roe Pie' and 'Leech on a Bun' are described. The section concludes with sound advice for tourists who decide to visit some of Qo'noS's finer eating establishments. Chapter Seven, looks at the period of Klingon history known as the Quiet Years. A 70 year stretch of tranquillity lasts throughout the quadrant, with all the major players of previous wars turning to internal problems. During this period, Klingon Emperor, Barneck, modernizes the Klingon University system, with an emphasis on civil, rather than Military engineering. His most significant contribution, is the establishment of the first Klingon Archaeology society. This act leads to the discovery of long-lost Andalusian Military technology, including the research on Romulan-designed cloaking devices. The Klingon Military promptly integrates the advanced hardware into their spacefleet. Also during this time period, Andalusian General Kung is found in cryogenic sleep. To answer such questions as' Why are Klingons so aggressive?', 'Why don't all Klingons have a Skull plate?', and 'How is Klingon Biology different than humans?', a detailed cultural section on Klingon anatomy and physiology, is presented. The segment begins with a reference to Dr. Mengelek Ramus, the Romulan War Criminal who 'discovered' much of the information. Also discussed is the influence of the Andalusian Occupation on Klingon physiology. To conclude, a brief mention of the age of ascension is discussed. The Klingon-Cardassian War, is the focus of Chapter Eight. With the new cloaking technology, Klingon Military and BBA leaders are anxious to find a means of testing it, and this of course means combat. The present Emperor, Doorak the Thoughtful, is not cooperative, so an operation is set up to 'change' his mind. A Bajoran terrorist attack is 'modified', resulting in the assassination of Doorak, and heavy damage to the offices of the Council of Elders. The real plot is uncovered, but by then it is too late, War with Cardassia is inevitable. The Cardassian forces are quickly swept aside by the cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey. Andalusian General Kung, now a member of the Klingon Military, takes the Cardassian capital of Cardass, and holds it for a month. He is later killed while evacuating the planet. After ten years the War ends with Cardassia losing 25% of its territory. Klingon spirituality is the focus for chapter eight's culture section on death and psychic phenomena. A race dedicated to War must be able to deal with death. The section explores how Klingons grieve. The belief in the afterlife is reinforced by the traditional role of the "Obo," military reconnaissance personnel who use astral projection (soul travelling) to explore enemy installations. Chapter Nine describes relations between the Klingon Empire and the Federation, but from the Klingon point of view. All previous descriptions have been of Federation origin. Every encounter between Klingons and Humans, from first contact to Sherman's Planet. From the first series, through all the movies, and up to the present "Next Generation" series. The absence of a skull plate in Klingons in the first series is reconciled with the presence of Skull plates in both the movies and "Next Generation." A recessive gene is responsible for giving some tribes of Klingons a predisposition for not having a skull plate. When such "plateless" individuals become Emperor, they often prefer to have plateless officers in positions of authority. The Klingon Ship of War is the focus of the last culture section. The development, construction, and maintenance of the Klingon battlefleet is discussed in detail. The section is heavily illustrated with diagrams and pictures (which were made by ourselves and not lifted from other StarTrek books). The book concludes with three Appendices, two Glossaries, and the References. Appendix 1, is a time line, outlining all the significant events of Klingon history. Appendices 2 and 3 outline the organization of the Klingon Admiralty and BBA respectively. Glossary one, contains the major figures in Klingon history, while Glossary two looks at Klingon Places, Holidays, and Concepts. The reference section lists the 54 sources consulted in the writing of this book. They are divided into, books, archive files, and personal interviews.